Sep15

sittin’ pretty.

Posted on by
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stormfront.org

went to the nail salon

to relax

be pampered

have a pedicure

was put

into

a hello kitty chair

with the

 massage option

given water

listened

to my nail tech

who was

a

very

very

very

quiet talker

tried to answer

what she asked

in a way

that didn’t

make me seem

insane

or

off subject

lotion

massage

warm water

scrub

wrap

paint

sleepy

relaxed

drifting

watched

a

bad

made for tv movie

on the screen

with

subtitles

and lots

of hilarious

translation snafus

and ponies

and angst

and there was

candy

all around

and i

read

a trashy magazine

took the quiz

found 

i am 

most

‘like goldie hawn’

of all

the 

celeb possibilities

kept trying

to answer questions

though i had no idea

what she was asking

in her whisper voice

tried to lip read

i probably said that 

i like ponies

and

cotton candy

and

my name

is goldie hawn

as i slipped into 

a dreamy state

of 

hello kitty consciouness

—

image credit: stormfront.com

58 responses »

  5. Many years ago, my Bride and I won a fabulous trip to Las Vegas. It included a full spa treatment for both of us. It was the first and last time I’d ever gotten a manicure and pedicure. How can you guys stand those?! That goes double for a facial, which was nothing more than a commercial for skin care products and unrelenting insults about my “blackheads.” But the massage was dreamy. I’ll take one of those any day of the week and twice on Sunday. It’s only time a strange woman can touch me and not have it result in divorce proceedings.

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  7. I do believe you and Nacho are beginning to look like each other already, Beth!

    What a day at the Nail Place. You apparently signed up for the pedi/mind reset combo special! They gave you their best technician for that one, too. Fantastic.

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  9. Ha! Awesome photo Beth. I’ve never been to a spa or had a mani or other treatments. I can just feel the relaxation from your story. It sounds magnificent. It must be very rejuvenating.

    Great Post Beth. Thank You.

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  12. Very cute image of kitty. I can relate to what you said about people speaking in a soft voice. When I returned to college a few years ago I was talking with a young woman student who was speaking to me in a soft voice and I swear I think I did answer her with something random because I did not hear correctly what she was saying. I thought afterward she probably thought I was crazy. I even went so far as to have my hearing checked. I was told I was in a normal range for someone my age 🙂 and that I should just ask people to speak up.

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  15. You are reminding me of a Dane Cook skit wherein he was working the drive-thru and he couldn’t hear one word the woman was saying except for “pickles.” His pickles are your ponies. And I suppose there are worse celebs to be most like than a bubbly blonde.

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  16. Oh my goodness, Beth! You cracked me up, Hello Kitty would already instantly transform my thought processes, then the whispering and the odd television show. I think you could be a Goldie Hawn, like a comedic actress in one of her movies, you are such a fun and sometimes wacky person, too. I could see you as the one who is living in Steve Martin’s house. Anyway, I would probably drift off, with the warm water, relaxing activities and the quiet woman who you had to lip read to get any kind of sense out of her?! Smiles!!

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