(not me, just a low-budget re-enactor)
when my garage door opener stopped opening
the garage door opener guy came over to check it out
his prognosis:
it was going to need to be replaced
it was quickly wearing out and about done.
when i asked if it was like when your grandma is slowing fading away
he said:
“grandma is dead.”
with that, he disconnected it
told me that i would acquire new muscles
opening and closing it by hand each day
until i got a new opener system.
i figured i could put it off for a few days and then deal with it
but life interfered
as it so often does.
this morning
as i was headed out for the day
i grabbed the door to close it
but
four fingers of my hand
somehow got stuck in the folding panels of the door as i rolled it down
i yelled out and quickly sprung into action
used my other hand to open it back up
fueled by superhuman (sort of) strength and adrenaline
to save the hand that felt like
it was being painfully crushed by an angry gorilla.
with teeth.
on caffeine.
i saw myself in a precarious position
with no time to waste
like
james franco
in “127 hours”
where he had to use his dull pocket knife to saw off his arm
that was wedged between boulders in order to save his own life.
(james, before he sprung into action)
once i freed my hand
i surveyed the damage
four squeezed fingers
with deep scarlet creases
swollen and throbbing
but all parts still there
good news.
i drove with one hand to the home improvement store
walked to the back
found a wonderfully friendly worker who turned and said
“follow me to the wall and i hope i won’t be moving too fast.”
to which i replied:
“well, you do have an advantage.”
his response –
“really? i am in a wheelchair and you are walking on two legs.”
okay, so yes.
didn’t think of that.
put my little mishap into perspective.
he turned and smiled and said:
“i’m just kidding, but i am in a wheelchair.”
yes.
and that was it
he was great
we talked about his kids and school and teaching and accidents
the new stuff is ordered and the guys will be here this week to put it all in.
in the scheme of things
not too bad
not like the time i broke my toe dancing in the house and kicked the bathroom door when leaping.
or the time i sprained my foot playing family extreme badminton barefoot.
or the time i got my fingers caught in the hand mixer
when i was trying to pull out the beaters and it was still plugged in.
or the time i_______ (fill in the blank here numerous times)
no, not like those times.
but i’m thinking i should maybe ask for a pocket knife for mother’s day.
–
*disclaimer: this blog post was written with my ‘other hand’ and i am not responsible for errors.
—
“they’re funny things, accidents. you never have them till you’re having them.”
― a.a. milne
—
credits: fox searchlight films/127 hours, lowes, google images
such great talent and creative post..
Could you please follow my new piano page:
https://mihranpiano.wordpress.com
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thank you, and i’ll check out your page today )
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This was unexpected reading this morning. Hope your poor hand is mending and that your sense of humour remains intact. x
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yes, much better today, and thank you, hopefully it is still there )
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Perhaps the making of an object lesson for the grandies and the kinders?
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absolutely. and the adults.
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I like your humor and your spunk. Tell the family to get you that pocket knife!
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thanks, and i think it might have to be a swiss army knife, with all kinds of tools, because you never know what situation you might find yourself in…
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That’s some good thinking.
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survival instinct kicked in
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Hope you’re feeling better! 🙂
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so much better, thanks –
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You have a gift of spinning a tale of woe into a lesson. We complain and whine that all we have to eat is peanuts but when we turn around and look behind us there is someone picking up the shells and eating them.
Great story and well penned. Thank you for sharing and for the lesson. :o)
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thank you so much, and that’s how life is, isn’t it? lessons everywhere that we are always learning. some of us need more lessons than others…..)
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That’s what we get when we don’t pay attention to the teacher. :o)
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absolutely.
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Love the way you creatively wrote. Hope the fingers are ok. 😫
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thanks, jodi and all are intact )
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creative writing!
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thanks and thanks for reading and following – i look forward to doing the same )
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Oh wow! I am glad that still everything is where it is supposed to be. Hope all heals fast and that you get your garage door fixed!
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me too! all is on the mend )
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Good to know! Take care! It is crazy how fast such things can happen!
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It is , things change on a dime
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Right!
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Yikes! Like the day I shut the car door too fast and split a fingernail at the nailbed…truly painful and I drove 140 miles after I taped it up. Took many months to grow back, but it did
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Ouch!! But you never forget-
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Quite!
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I can picture this all, every darn scene, Beth, down ring-out at the register at Lowe’s.
Ouch.
Life does happen when you’re living it, my friend. And you do live it. ❤ This is the best told one-handed story ever.
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Yes, I try and my goal is to keep living it for a while longer hopefully)
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Ouch! I have a double garage door and the cord broke on one of them. Of course, the side the cord broke on was the side where my wife parks her car. Needless to say, lifting that monster this morning in order for her to get to work was a bear. On a positive note, I didn’t get my fingers pinched.
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Always a positive to be found in most everything)
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Ouch. Hope you didn’t break anything. Humourously shared! Be careful!!!!
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thanks, joy. on the road to recovery and i needed you to remind me to be careful before i acted )
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We all have accidents. Since I have back problems and am getting older(over 65), I have slowed down a lot. I did find that when I was behind on my sleep I had more “incidents.” Have a safe new year.
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yes, i’m sure we’re never on our best game when at a loss for sleep –
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Lol. My family suffers from the same gift of foot in mouth disease is well. Congratulations. Good luck with your fingers.
>
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i was born with it and will no doubt die with it. all had a happy end though )
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congrats Beth on all things. Humors as always
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thanks, kat!
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Ouch!
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yep, but on the road to recovery already )
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WE MUST BE RELATED, BETH!
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i am quite sure of it )
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Hate to hit “like” when this is such a tale that hurts and could have gone much, much worse.
I just had a similar garage door incident. Fortunately, I exited the garage and closed the door remotely. The door slammed down so hard that my husband came tearing down from his office above, making sure I wasn’t under it. Heal fast and glad you got that new door.
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thanks, it’s scary when things go wild on you )
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Ick! That HAD to hurt! Loved hearing about all of your life accidents, because I don’t seem to be very graceful and have my share:) Glad it’s not just me. But hope you stay in one piece and healthy for 2017!
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thanks, and glad you have survived it all too. i’ve decided not to become a ballerina.
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🙂
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aww Beth! I felt the ghost pain on my hand from reading this. I am so sorry to hear this. BUT, I adore your positive and humorous way you see life and that is what will get you through this (or have already). When these things happen, it always makes me grateful for the simple things in life! (like typing with two hands and whatnot). I wish you a fast recovery!
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thanks for your sympathy pain, i appreciate it and i think that humor and a positive approach is the best way to get though challenges and then to overcome and recover from them )
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That is the strangest way to start a new year I’ve ever heard of Beth. Couldn’t you just have had a toast? (Hope you heal quickly.)
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it is, next year, i think i’ll try a different approach )
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Yikes! I’m so glad your reflexes (and super-human strength) kicked in to help you escape serious injury. And I hope the rest of the year will be just a little bit less exciting — at least where large doors are concerned. 🙂
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lucky those survival skills kicked in and thanks, i hope it’s a bit less eventful in the near future )
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This made my day. I love the humor in your stories. 🙂
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thank you so much, and i love your very kind comments )
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Oh dear. I’m so glad your fingers are fine. Very painful. Happy you are getting your garage door fixed, those things are tricky blighters. I smiled all the way to the end.
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thanks, mm )
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all that and no cursing!
My garage door opener is long broken,
I’m also opening it by hand, I have to remember your story,
I don’t feel like cursing and I want to keep my fingers safe!
(Hope all your fingers are intact!)
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thanks, and be careful!!! )
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Hahaha. You see now I know you have Irish in you. Only us Irish can equate a few crushed fingers with cutting your arm off using a knife and no anesthetic!
Glad you didn’t lose a finger or two. Hope you manage to get access tomorrow without losing the other hand!
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Yes, my heritage clearly shines through)
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Thanks for the laugh! I am often a danger to myself, especially because I cook, so I’m always using knives or things with sharp blades. I also have an uncanny ability to walk into door frames, trip over nothing and…well, you get the idea. I literally felt your pain…damn garage door.
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i totally get that and it is all the door’s fault, in my opinion )
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ouch! you should have gone to the emergency room right away. i hope you feel better soon.
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nothing was broken or chopped off, just sore, so i got off easy )
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Kiss it better ❤
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💥
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Oh no! I pray that you are feeling better!
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So much better already
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Hey! Be careful!
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i’ll try from now on, but….
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And watch out for banana peels!
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will do!
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the mundane is a scary place 🙂
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that it is
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This was a serious post and hard to like. Thank goodness, nothing serious since not at hospital!! Cell phones work though in a crisis. . . . Great perspective of worker in wheelchair too. Be safe, be careful!! Yikes!
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it’s okay, it all ended well –
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You always choose the right perspective.
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I hope that I do, at least more often than not )
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OMG! You are so funny and I know you weren’t laughing when it happened. I watched as a friend did that to herself but only one finger got smashed. I hope you are okay and that your fingers have plumped up and are back to normal. I mean you did make a Fairy House and all, so I’m assuming that everything is working properly. Seriously…ow! ❤
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Thanks and there really was a bit of humor in it. If you can’t laugh at yourself…..) and, yes, all good –
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Ow! Glad to read in the comments that you’re recovering well.
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No worries
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Hope your hand feels better and healed up!
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Better!🖐
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Very good!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Ouch! Also to the fingers caught in the beaters…..glad it wasn’t the blender!! I’m thinking maybe you SHOULDN’T ask for a pocket knife for Mother’s Day…….?
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yes, maybe i should rethink that …….)
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Glad you’re okay and that you made a friend or two along the way. Family extreme badminton sounds like a blast.
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thanks, and it is – looking forwards to summer to play again )
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Be careful. Consider shoes this time. 🙂
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👟👞
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Gosh! You have me chortling so loud – yet I shouldn’t be laughing – ‘cos I know it must have been painful. Enjoyed reading this. I hope the poor fingers are on the mend 🙂
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no worries at all, i was laughing myself after and my fingers are good as new )
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