i wish this option was available.
—
after noticing that my bill had made a huge monthly rate leap
it was time for yet another wacky interaction with my cable provider
the rep was very friendly as he told me
that my old rate was purely promotional
it had expired without notice
and was no longer available
i then told him that in that case
i’d like to cut back on my service
to restore it to a more reasonable (yet still crazy) rate
he offered to get right to work for me
to find a happy solution to my problem
after thanking me often
during my 37 minutes of insane hold music
my rep came up with my new rate
i laughed out loud when he quoted me a price
that was actually higher than the one
i was calling about when we began
he quickly and politely explained
that he had provided me with their premier package
adding in home security, a landline, voice controls,
and i think something to do with walking my cat
(none of which i requested)
he also told me that he had used
their new state of the art billing service
(why it took so long)
which is very finely tuned
to review my bill and only charge me
based on the channels and services i use
offering me the best possible deal available
i reminded him that i had actually called
to eliminate channels and extra services
and to pay less not more
he politely went back to work on my issue
after a lot more hold music
i eliminated my useless channels and services
declining the best deal in the universe
even after he warned me i would be giving up things such as:
the rodeo clown channel, the quilting channel, and the watching paint dry live channel
i held my ground
and finally
in a twist of fate and luck and cable math
i somehow ended up back at
the special no longer available promotional rate
that i had requested to return to when we started .
—
“the real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.”
-b. f. skinner
—
image credit: gadgetpage.info
You’re my hero.
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Accidental hero at best )
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NO, NO, NO ! You can’t, just can’t, get rid of the watching paint dry live channel, the best Reality TV Show EVER ! You’ll regret it Beth. Don’t do it ! 😱😱😭😭😢😢🤗
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Now I’m worried….)
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I did this every year with ATT. I used to dread the yearly phone call.
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I take it as a personal challenge)
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It is a monopoly/oligopoly squeezing every possible dollar from us. Hopefully it is a business model that is on its way out. Google Fiber charges the same amount every month and you never have to call them.
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Cant wait
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🤣🤣🤣
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cut cable off three years ago this April.. so that bit taken care of. But I do realize I can’t do that with every bit of consumerist inanity thrown my way: just need to wade through these kafkaesque waters with wit and grit I guess.
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Yes, I just go in knowing this and then I don’t get stressed
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Well-handled. I absolutely hate dealing with these things.
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I find it kind of funny and frustrating at the same time
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Oh, my gosh. I had that conversation not long ago. Try explaining to Comcast that you shouldn’t have to pay for their grand package when you don’t even own a television. Incomprehension doesn’t begin to capture the response. Good for you for making it through!
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Hahahaha
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I hope this is a price that sticks, untied to some hazy amount of months or years, Beth. Enjoy watching the channels you want!
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Yes!
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Well done on hanging in there.
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I was determined to wait them out
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I once tried to call Comcast on my cell phone, but was told that they had to send my secure log information via my Comcast phone…which I don’t have….which they told me I am paying for….I’m on blood pressure meds now.
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Oh, that’s a whole other post from me. I had that exact same experience prior to this
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At least they did finally work with you on it. Ours goes up twice a year between 10 and 20% each time. We’ve gone in person and spent hours on hold, and they always say that it’s not their rate going up, it’s the taxes. 40 extra dollars in taxes. Twice a year. But I have to have HGTV and Food Network and Hallmark Channel or I would die LOL. At least you don’t have to deal with it for another year!
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This is true)
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Haha! You have captured this perfectly – absolutely perfectly
>
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It’s all so crazy
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Great!
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))
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You’re the BEST!!!!
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Wow!
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Totally love this!
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Thanks)
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Not the annoyance with cable…I meant your reflections!
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Double thanks!!
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I feel your pain. Been there (on hold); done that. But remember, there is a nice glass of wine at the end of that rainbow. But not during the ordeal. They depend on early drinking to make you acquiesce!
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You’re so right!
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This easily won you my renewed respect and a giggle for getting what you wanted; and at your terms!!!! I haven‘t and don‘t need TV, what I want, really want to see I find on YT, DVDs, at the cinema and although I‘m just back from a short vacation (during which I was housebound all the time) I never even thought once to put the TVs on – and there were two…. GOOD ON YOU Beth
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Thanks!
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we got rid of nearly everything and cut our bill in half. then, to get the tennis channel we had to add back everything else and then some and sure enough our bill went down again. their modern software is a random number generator. love the paint drying channel— so zen
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Yes, I believe it is random
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Good summary of a familiar, common experience. We’ve grown accustomed to an uneven communications playing field. I imagine your cable company also is a monopoly.
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Absolutely
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You are brilliant, Beth — and also hilarious. I think you speak for millions of Americans with this post. (Myself included, although my call finally concluded with canceling the service altogether. “That’s your choice, ma’am,” said the rep. That company will never get me back, no matter how many fridge magnets they send me.)
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The whole setup is so crazy
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You have the patience of a saint! 😀
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Pure grit!
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I just cut the cord and got rid of the expense.
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My next move
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I had the same thing happen. Only we never got back to the promotional price.
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The whole system is nuts
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LOL I can’t imagine why you don’t want to watch paint dry lol
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Isn’t it a wonder?
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You just resurrected some old nightmares. I have saved time and frustration by going to my provider’s store.
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That’s a good approach
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Looks like I am going to have to apply the same approach. I just received the same phone call and I probably was not as kind on the phone as you were. The guy from Comcast called while I was at work and trying to get a quick quote to a customer. He wanted to do everything over the phone and would not send anything to me in writing. He got frustrated with me and terminated the call.
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I live that he ended the call
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Oh the turmoil of our television needs. I remember the first time I paid for cable. $27 dollars a month! I was mortified. Horrified. Dumbstruck. How I would love to go back to that.
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So funny
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Some entrepreneur should start a ‘negotiate-with-cable-companies’ business on behalf of us consumers. I would gladly pay someone to represent me to go through this farce which you so well described. Even if I have to pay a fee equal to, or moderately more, than the amount of savings negotiated, it would be worth the time and hassle avoided!
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Great idea and I agree)
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That negotiation is called, “cancel” and mean it!
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😡
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a sound investment in music tunes out tv tribulations. i do enjoy the way you handle these situations.
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Thanks)
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Ugh! These systems are so ridiculous. Every time my dad’s bill goes off, he just tells them to shut down his entire service. He honestly doesn’t care. Then they always give him a great deal after that.
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It’s so backwards
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The watching paint dry channel must be on the super duper exclusive tier with the test pattern channel and Ben Stein reads the phone book channel…
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Yes, it’s top tier
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We just went through this. We made the move to streaming. We purchased Philo at $17 a month. When I. Allied back to cancel my cable, I was sent to retention who magically came up with new packages for me. Alas, I explained it was too late. The time for retention was the day I called to complain about the increase.
I am thrilled with the time added back to my life by not watching so much mindless tv.
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Autocorrect! When I called back…
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I so get this
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You are preaching to the seriously over-exasperated with customer service choir here. The fact that we are tone deaf and singing off key does not mean we don’t appreciate your chorus!
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Thanks)
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Who hasn’t been driven to near insanity by any of the cable companies!
We switched to Hulu when we moved to here in VA. It cut our cable bill in half. This is not a promo for hulu, just an example of what alternatives we may have if we’re ever aware of them. There are other alternatives, too. But, I still miss the “good old days” of 4-6 channels of shows that were actually entertaining.
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Soon –
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That is is, you just have to be firm with them….. they want to keep you and do anything to please you. Well done. I am sure you are gutted not to have the “paint dry live channel”.
I wanted to get rid of Sky which was in my ex husbands name and they just did not let me leave, so I asked my son to to phone, they do have the same name, and even he had problems. Only after he said he will be omitting suicide tomorrow they ended the contract and gave him the number of the Samaritans. He is living happily ever after, and he did me a great favour. I don’t actually watch TV only very occasionally at Christmas, people just cannot believe that I rather read or make crafts.
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It’s all such a daunting process
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And you persisted! Thank goodness. 🙂
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💃🏿
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I finally got so frustrated with this annual song and dance that I pulled the plug! It is so freeing. I got a Firestick, Netflix and now Hulu is free through my Spotify subscription. The one show I decided I could live without I purchase through Amazon. Now I watch very little TV and listen to more podcast and music. After the initial shock, I do not miss TV.
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I totally get this and I’m there soon
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I love this so much more than I can say 😀
It is amazing how calling up a TV provider can make you nearly (or actually) lose your mind. We finally just canceled our service entirely for the very reasons you mentioned and then some.
All that talking with nothing being said….yikes! When will they get a clue? 🙂
Thanks for this post. It was great! ❤
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Glad you enjoyed it and sorry you had to go through it too. Cutting the cord is my next step )
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I think you just might be pleasantly surprised! It is not only freeing but relaxing. You begin to enjoy other activities so much more 🙂 (and save money doing it!)
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We cut the cable almost two years ago when they refused to lower the price of the “bundle”. Like you, we didn’t watch more than a few channels and the ones we really wanted required subscribing to a bigger, more expensive package. We signed up with streaming service Sling and are happy. No gimmicks there! We still have the internet service through the cable company and have kept the landline, because without it, the internet-only bill would be even more. I would never go back to cable tv!
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That will be me very soon
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love the walk your cat feature! also, now they offer to give you a device that allows them to listen to all your conversations for free
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Isn’t that a kick?
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I love it! Congratulations!
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Thanks!
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Way to keep your hands on your guns..:)
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I was ready)
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A humorous post, and I loved the retro ad … too bad the “absolutely harmless to humans” Flashmatic Tuner couldn’t have been used to lessen your time spent listening to the hold music. At least the CS rep came back with the right cable math formula.
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Exactly and yes, in the end it was okay )
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That’s the best! So glad it worked out for you. Apropos quote, too.
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Thanks!
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I always need 3 cups of coffee and zanax when forced to call and deal with them. And I end up inventing a ton of new words that would make a trucker blush.
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I love this and me too
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This is so true. One tries to live simply, but there is always some company that raises the rate.
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Yes-
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