Word choices: lay vs. lie
when looking up the eternal lay vs. lie question, (similar to the chicken vs. egg conundrum), this is what i found. i started out strong, but as i kept reading, it really only served to confuse me more, and my level of understanding dropped with each new sentence of explanation and i had to lay or lie down. warning: do not try to read this when lying or laying down.
Imagine your friends are over for a movie night, and they’ve brought a tray of brownies to share. You take the platter from them — but do you tell them you’re going to “lie” it down or “lay” it down? And will you all “lie” down to watch the movie, or “lay” down? It’s an age-old question: What is the actual difference between “lay” and “lie”? When do you use one over the other?
Why are “lay” and “lie” confusing?
To clarify: We’re not talking about the kind of lie you might tell when you call out of work or don’t finish your homework on time. We’re talking only about the setting/reclining meaning of the verb.
“Lay” and “lie” are often confused because both words are about people or objects positioned horizontally on a surface. But they are used to refer to different scenarios.
It can be quite simple — if you’re in the present tense. The past tense is when things really get confusing, since the past tense of “lie” is “lay” (sorry). But don’t worry, we’ll give you a few easy tips to help you along.
When to use “lay” vs. “lie”
“Lay” is a transitive verb. Transitive means that you have an object that is being acted upon. So “lay” means to set down or place something — an object — in a horizontal position. Here’s an example in the present tense: “I lay the book on the nightstand.” In this instance, the book is the object that is having something done to it.
“Lie” is an intransitive verb, meaning the object doesn’t need something else to put it down. Instead, the person or subject is doing the action. “Lie” means to stay at rest in a horizontal position, or to recline. An example of “lie” in present tense would be, “I feel the wind as I lie in my backyard on the grass.” In this example, the person is performing the action rather than having the action done to them.
So, in the present tense, the simplest way to determine which word to use is by looking at what is actually being reclined. If the reclining object is inanimate and/or requires someone to put it down, use “lay.” If the object is self-sufficient, such as a person, use “lie.” Quick memory tip: Only a person can lie on a bed and tell a lie.
“Lay” and “lie” in other tenses
Let’s tackle the past tense of each, since that’s where there’s the most opportunity to pick the wrong word.
I ____ my clothes out last night before I went to bed.
Which one is it — “lay” or “lie”? Here’s how to tell: Is something happening to an object? Yep! The clothes are being set out. That tells us that we need the verb “lay,” past tense “laid.”
I laid my clothes out last night before I went to bed.
Now, what about the past tense of “lie”?
I heard a noise coming from the basement as I ____ on the sofa watching a horror movie.
In this example, there is not a specific action being performed upon an object. Rather, the speaker (the subject) is doing the action. This means we need the past tense of “lie,” which (confusingly) is “lay.”
I heard a noise coming from the basement as I lay on the sofa watching a horror movie.
Still confused? Don’t worry. You won’t get reprimanded too much if you mix these up in verbal conversation. But for written communication, it helps to practice with examples so you can be confident in your word choice.
(not me, but i was doing this after trying to figure this explanation out)
“the greater part of the world’s troubles are due to questions of grammar.”
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source credits: wordgenius, grammarly
I think you did a great job explaining this tricky grammatical use. And that is no lay.
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not my explanation, but i looked to an expert source to share. as soon as we left the present tense arena, i was lost in the bramble of doubt once more )
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Ah, yes, the old lie vs. lay dilemma. The article is right: the past tense is where all the confusion starts. Thanks, Beth, for making me smile so early in the morning as I lay (past tense) in bed in the dawn light. No lie. And thank you for your dedication to posting a daily thought or shared experience, which I enjoy each morning when I’m lying in bed trying to summon up sufficient resolve to get my day started. I admire the creative way you go about it. You do that well. Al
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thanks al, and yes, once we delve into the past tense, it’s a complete mess for me. thank you so much for your kinds words as well
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Brain overload, IEnglish is a tricky language. I knew the difference but I still would hade done the past tense wrong. Thanks for this wonderful explanation. I shall lie down to have a rest after this… 🙂
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i’m still muddled about it, but at least i gave it one more try )
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Very useful tips. I just wish I can remember them.
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i’m back where i started )
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Lol!
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Lol it’s something that once understood cannot be lost… specifically because it makes no sense at all!
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i agree, no sense at all!
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Love the explanation. 😂
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the picture helped (at least in the present tense, and then i got lost down the rabbit hole with further explanation )
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Remember the nursery prayer – Now I lay me down to sleep? Shouldn’t it be: Now I lie me down to sleep? I’m not an object. 😂😉
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oh, my – the door is open )
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💖😂
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this used to drive me crazy when I was a kid in High School and it drove me even crazier when I became a High School teacher and was expected to know, and now I’m neither a kid or a high school teacher I just avoid the two words all together — which btw opens up a whole new can of worms: is it ‘altogether’ or ‘all together’ ???
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still driving me crazy and always will! now you’ve thrown something new in the mix to be confused about )
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there’s always something, Beth 🙂 it’s a very good post to stimulate discussions 🙂
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brain overload )
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I’ll sign up for your grammar class any day!
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not my class, but shared from a source that really gets it, i’m still a bit confused )
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You laid it down pretty effectively! I’ll be lying if I said that these two words don’t confuse the heck out of me.
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not my explanation, just a share, but as i attempted to master it, i got lost once again )
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Perfect illustration
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the picture works the best for me, the explanations not so much
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I will not lie to you, Beth, I often lay a different word into a sentence instead of figuring out grammar rules.
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same, i just take a stab at it and see what sounds right. this explanation was way to wordy for me to gain much of a new understanding. )
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I taught a lay/lie lesson at least once a semester for 48 years, until the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic.
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i’m in awe of you
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aw shucks
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now I’m worried that I haven’t been using the words “pay” and “pie” correctly…
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or day and die? no worries, i still am more confused than ever
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I’m glad English is my native language. seems like it would be really hard to learn if I were just starting out now…
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i’m still struggling
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isn’t we all…
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i should be a poet, where it is quite acceptable to take poetic license with language. brad?
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those poets get away with everything… 🙂
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poetic immunity – right up there with the diplomats
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🙂
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In my eyes, you are a poet!
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by accident perhaps, due to my taking liberties with language )
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I got nothing
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same and it’s exhausting even trying…)
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I’m glad I run around with folks who don’t know the difference. Less complicated. 😉
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same!
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I think I have it, but wondering when you will write the post explaining affect and effect. 😏😁
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nooooooooooo….
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😁😄😁
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Wow that is certainly confusing, especially with the past tense of lie being lay. Thanks for clearing this up!
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i’m even more confused after this, but hope it helped someone )
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I got half way through this article and thought “oh dear, I should have had my coffee before reading” but by the end, I think I actually grasped it! That says a ton about your explanation skills! Thank you!
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A shared explanation, not my own , but glad it was made easier for you. )
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Thank you for this very helpful post. The graphics were especially helpful.
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The graphic and present tense make sense and then it gets a bit muddled
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Say that again? I understand the definitions, but can’t keep which word goes with which definition so I’m going to lay myself down and think about it, Actually, from now on my characters will put things down, rather than lay or lie them somewhere. LOLOLOLOL
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Same!!!!!!)))
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I’m honestly so glad that I’m a native English speaker… I could never learn it otherwise! This language just makes no sense.
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I am too, but still confused by it at times)
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It would be a lie to say
I fully comprehend ‘lie’ and ‘lay’
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Thanks for laying it all straight
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🙂
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oh my, I’m glad you let us know not to lie, or is it lay, down while reading this post, though I find myself quite dizzy, so laying down seems prudent…another word we have fun with at work is flier or flyer, when describing and advertising piece. I always write flier, and I am told repeatedly, it is flyer, however, if you look it up, both suffice…..confusion abounds….
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And that’s what brings the fun to language
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Indeed, and agreed.
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I’m getting even MORE confused when I think that ppl will think I’m lying when I’m only ever lying ….. (on the floor or such) – I can get so worked up with this conundrum that I change my sentences around just so that I don’t have to go into that ‘discussion’!
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Same here, Kiki!
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This is something that can confuse me. As you mentioned so well in your example, it can be more confusing due to the necessary use of past tense. I have no problems in German (automatical use) bit in English it can be a bit tricky … lol
Thanks a lot for this very educative post, Beth!
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I’m still confused too so don’t feel bad
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LOL!
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LOL. I try to avoid using the words unless I can’t think of a way around them.
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Me too
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Well done, Beth. I can’t help thinking that some devil put Dante in charge of the varied aspects of this word. 😉 Hugs on the wing!
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I can’t lie to you. I have struggled with lay and lie so often I’ve just laid? Lay? down to in exhaustive frustration. Grammar and me do not get along. 🙂
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Same here and I just end up using other words )
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When it doubt, change the word!! I set in on the table. 😉
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Always fascinating!
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And never clear)
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Thank you for the clarification. I have always had trouble with lie and lay. I wrote a letter (back when we used snail mail) to a friend, and she criticized me for making and error with lie and lay. I never wrote her another letter.
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I’m still confused, especially after reading this long explanation )
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It helped me! Thanks for sharing it.
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great
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Good grief!! This is one of those things where I’m good until we get three or four layers in. I thought this would set me straight…turns out I might be hopelessly confused.
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yes, i found myself even more confused, once we passed the present tense rules
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Thanks for sharing
Sent from my iPhone
>
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my pleasure, stevie
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It IS confusing, and I still sometimes have to look it up when I’m editing. You’ve explained this well!
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i will be using other words as needed )
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I say just put the platter down and recline.
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i fell down and was flat out
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Sorry for being flippant. In truth I didn’t read all of your careful explanation. In Australia we rarely use lay (except in the egg context). There’s that expression “lay down your arms” but in the context of objects being placed somewhere, we would normally use put. So I guess we just avoid the confusion that way.
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Oh and there’s past tense. “She lay down on her bed”.
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right!
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i work around it when unsure – you didn’t come off as flippant at all )
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I’m usually pretty good when it comes to grammar, but this is one of those things that remains thoroughly confusing. Somehow I’ve survived 62+ years without clearly grasping it.
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we all have our things we just have to let go, this is one of those for me0
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I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t confused! 🤣😂
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I thought I almost had it until I read (red?) the directions! 🤔🥵
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right, the further down the rabbit hole (whole?) I went, I only became more confused
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further/farther??? 😜
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Ha!
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I’m still confused and I can’t lie! 🤥😂
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same!
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(´∇ノ`*)ノ
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Duuuuuuude. Dude. I so wish I knew you in high school so you could have enlightened me. 🙂 This would have been awesome. Thanks for the refresher course the travel back in time to my No.2 pencil days 🙂
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I would be the worst because i still don’t get it )
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I loathe these two words, especially when I’m editing. I always end up googling the difference. Thanks for explaining…for some reason, I just don’t get it. I think it’s when the past of one is involved.
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I cannot wrap my head around it either!
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This should be posted on the fridge, Beth! Thanks for sharing! I think I finally get the difference, and then something comes up and I’m stumped again. 🙃🙃
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I am no better off but I keep trying. Or when in don’t, choose another word )
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I keep messing up “Eyes or eyed”. Should I use. She the prettiest eyes or eyed? Hello dear Beth.
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It’s always something- I’d say eyes but who knows for sure?)
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I was told eyes was wrong. Eyed, seem past tense. He eyed the ocean. Hello dear Beth..
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That is right but different when saying she has pretty eyes or she is pretty-eyed.
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Pretty good explanation. My teachers growing up molded me to be particular about grammar but this is one of those rules that I never mastered. It looks like a lot of my confusion stemmed from “lay” being the past tense of “lie.”
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it is incredibly confusing –
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Oh, my! I still don’t have this straight.
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I don’t either )
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That makes me feel so much better! 🙂
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As a chicken owner, I’m loving that graphic. 🙂 So funny.
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I’ll bet!
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