Jun4

just peachy.

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a look back, it’s that time of year again, and some things never change –

how to clean your entire kitchen while trying to prepare a 1-minute healthy and guilt-free breakfast

1. since peaches are not quite in season yet, take a bag of frozen peaches out of freezer to defrost in fridge, go to sleep dreaming of healthy breakfast smoothie

2.  take peaches out of fridge on the next day to chop up and create delicious and guilt-free smoothie

3. notice the fridge shelf below bag is a bit sticky

4. notice the bag has leaked (even though it’s unopened), while defrosting

5. take everything off of sticky shelf

6. notice peach juice has leaked to the back of the shelf and hardened into a solid gel

7. take out giant sticky shelf and place in sink

8. turn on hot water to melt off hardened peach juice gel

9. notice peach juice has dripped down into fridge drawers below where the shelf was

10. take out drawers

11. say a few things back to fridge that is now incessantly beeping due to door being ajar too long

12. feel my feet getting wet and turn back to sink

13. notice hot water running on shelf placed in sink is somehow flowing over it and onto counter and beyond

14. notice water has also flowed into junk drawer and cupboards below counter while on its way to the floor

15. slide on floor as i turn off water, pull out junk drawer, empty it, throw away things that are waterlogged

16. empty cupboards below, dry out everything, grab beach towels to clean up floor

17. turn back to fridge, still beeping, notice bottom of fridge has peach juice on it also, now that drawers have been removed

18. get more towels, empty entire fridge, wash and dry everything, replace shelves and drawers and contents, wash and dry floor

16. cut open peach bag, notice the peaches are now dried out due to lack of juice. put them in a bowl. add whipped cream. back to healthy eating plan tomorrow.

17. notice one ant milling around, sensing a dot of sticky peach nectar somewhere.

54 responses »

  2. Ah, ants. We fight a constant campaign against ant intrusion in our kitchen. One of the drawbacks of having the kitchen windows facing the garden, I suspect. So far, we have kept the numbers of invaders down by using ant traps bought from Amazon. But now it is getting warmer, I am having to puff ant powder down the cracks between the patio slabs. It won’t stop them all, I have never found anything that can completely eradicate them.
    Best wishes, Pete.

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  3. you just described my life! also, i have terrible eye sight which often, in these cases, isn‘t helping. Terrific post, thank you for the smiles.

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  7. I can just visualize this all happening! I laughed a lot while reading this and remembering when I tried to replace a water filter, in the top right corner of the fridge, for the water spout in the freezer. When I removed the old filter, and tried to push the new filter in place, it wouldn’t screw on and proceeded to spray water all over my fridge. Water was pouring of the top shelf from the front and down the back and water falling onto the floor! I used the drawers to catch the water by pulling them out enough to catch the water. So I stopped trying and the water was stopped. I had a mess to clean up.

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  9. Hilarious, because I have been there, without peaches. I get three kinds of ants this time of year: the smallest ones my mother called sugar ants are the first and ubiquitous, but stings aren’t so bad. The medium ones, the fire ants, are the meanest, hurt like the dickens and cause pimples days later that go deep and discolor my skin forever. The big ones, the carpenter ants, like rotting wood and appear at doors and windows sometimes, but their sting is pretty benign. Plastic bags inside mixing bowls in the fridge may help avoid the leaking of peaches.

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  19. OMG Beth this was horribly hysterical. I know I shouldn’t have laughed that hard but I think most of your readers can relate to everything you said. Hahahahahah I’m so sorry but thanks for brightening the day. I love this and happy retirement. ❤️

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  21. Super blog! I know the feeling. Nothing ever seems to go to plan does it? I once kept getting a whiff of something alcohol smelling. Weeks later I realised a kiwi fruit in the net of my rucksack had turned into slush. And it had been back and forth with me like that for weeks.

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