There’s language in her eye, her cheek, her lip; Nay, her foot speaks.
– William Shakespeare
visit #1 – in pain and needing a foot doc
‘any idea how this happened?’
‘well, ironically i was walking a long distance every day to take care of my body and be healthy.’
‘so, were you wearing a good pair of supportive running shoes and socks, when you sustained this injury to your foot?’
‘yes.’
‘because i can clearly see the deep tan lines from your teva sandals on your feet’
‘umm…..’
‘well it was a very hot summer and i always see all the people in those adventure ads, climbing mountains, zip-lining, and running across the country in them, so i thought…’
‘have you ever had a cortisone shot before?’
‘no, but i see all those athletes get right back on the field after an injury and a quick shot. heard it’s kind of painful though…’
‘well you’ll be needing one today to try to loosen the tendons, and this, along with stretching exercises and bla bla bla, will help your foot to get better.
‘okay i guess..’
‘nurse, can you hold her foot please?’
‘uh, oh.’
‘owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!’
‘you probably want to kick me in the face right now, don’t you?’
‘actually yes, it was the first thing that crossed my mind, and i would have, except my foot hurts so much.’
‘okay, we’ll see you back here in 2 weeks. don’t forget to do everything i told you in the meantime.’
visit #2 – back at foot doc – 2 weeks later
‘have you been doing everything i’ve told you to do to help your foot to get better?’
‘yes.’
‘including 5 times a day for the stretching?’
‘ummm…..’
‘glad it looks a bit better, but the tendons are still in need of some relief. another cortisone shot for you today.’
‘are you sure? last time i got the shot, i drove home with my foot on fire , i had to accelerate and break with my left foot, and it felt like a knife was jammed into my foot of burning flesh that lasted for 6.3 hours. i really don’t know how those football players get right back into a game after a shot. also, i am supposed to go hiking in the woods with my kinder class today and be the leader, then sneak out of school early to go to the tigers final game where we will sweep the playoffs and get into the world series at last! there will be all kinds of celebrating going on and lots of dances in the stands and drunk people jumping on my foot, i’m sure of it!’
‘you’ve really thought about all the angles, but we have to do it so that you don’t delay your recovery. do you have good seats?’
visit #3 – foot doc again – 4 weeks later
(running late for my appointment, so i quickly gave myself a pedicure on the injured foot only and shaved that leg right above that ankle – my general rule is only in summer, or going on a hot date or the doctor, but heck it was only one foot affected, so he would never see the other foot, and i had no date that day, who would know the difference?
‘how is your foot coming along?’
‘pretty well i think.’
‘well, let’s have a look. roll up both pant legs and take off your shoes and socks and we can compare how your feet are doing, the healthy one vs. the injured one.’
‘really?’
‘yes, it’s a good way to show you what we’re striving for in your recovery.’
‘okay.’
i did as asked and he told me to walk around to see if i was favoring the healthy one. not too bad until i looked down. one foot had dramatically chipped up tangerine polish on every toe along with a clearly unshaven calf, the other had a nicely pedicured bright red set of nails and a shaved ankle. if there was ever a person attuned to noticing the details of a foot, it is a foot doc. he said nothing.
‘so, it looks like it has improved. let’s go for one more shot just to help those tendons along, and i’ll leave you to continue your recovery. call me if it gets worse again, otherwise you know what to do.’
yes, i thought , as i walked very gingerly like a geisha towards the front desk: stretch before exercising, wear good shoes, and most importantly – always get a pedicure on both feet.
I didn't have my glasses on.... 