fashion fad: mittens are the new shoes.
“organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.”
all went well on my annual visit to the doctor
for a bit of a ‘gown snafu’
(this picture does not even begin to do it justice)
when i went to put it on
i couldn’t tell
was supposed to be inside or outside
there were pockets both inside and outside
snaps all over the place
numerous ties of various sizes and locations
parts of the fabric were tucked into each other
no matter how i configured it
it just didn’t seem designed
for any sort of human form
knowing that i was under a time crunch
i quickly tried a few different scenarios
the multitude of mini-snaps
were designed for the hands of fairy
ties were in illogical places
i somehow had to craft my own sleeves
feeling as though
i was in a speed design contest
or playing a party game
i finally just settled on my final look
kind of wrapping the whole thing around me
when my doc came in she started laughing
“you are sleeveless on one side
the front is in back
things are tied up all over”
she was impressed by my creativity
when i asked about the gown
she smiled and said
“it’s a cognitive test”
that’s why she’s so great
i hope she was kidding.
“when everything becomes tangled, you should make the choice.”
teriyaki time (not for gambling)
the bag of loot my daughter gave me
with a friendly reminder
to pick up the sushi lunch
and not go to the casino or track
with the cash and the kids.
Quote from ‘Dumb & Dumber’:
LLOYD: “I’ll bet you 20 bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day!?”
HARRY: “No way.”
LLOYD: “I’ll give you 3 to 1 odds?”
LLOYD: “5 to 1?”
LLOYD: “10 to 1?”
HARRY: “You’re on.”
“i tend to stay with the panic. i embrace the panic.”
credits: ripley’s believe it or not museum, branson, missouri, usa
scout (in the original), walks home dressed as a ham.
I was cast to play scout
in a scene from ‘to kill a mockingbird’
as a favor for my friend
who was in an oral interpretation class
during her later in life college days.
the scene was the one
where scout was dressed as a ham
walking home through the woods
and the victim of an unknown attacker.
as I’m an incredibly horrible actress
I double-checked to see if she was sure
about wanting me for the role.
she was desperate and had no one else
so I was perfect, and was in!
she also cast my boyfriend at the time
as my brother
and our about to deliver a baby any second friend
as the narrator
that was it.
the only actors in the scene.
we were the holy trinity of non-talent.
one important thing that I needed to know
in spite of knowing my few lines
to be delivered in a frantic southern accent
with lots of screaming and thrashing movements
was that my attacker was not going to actually exist on stage
it was all interpretive
I had to imagine and act
like I was being attacked
as I wrestled with my invisible assailant.
at last the big day finally arrived
the curtain rose
I drawled and shrieked out my part
rolling around, slamming into the walls
and fighting my attacker who did not exist
all while dressed in my ham costume.
once it was over
we all took our bows
happy when the curtain finally went down.
after, I asked my friend’s husband,
(who was kind enough to have been in the audience
so we would be sure to have someone who clapped)
what he thought of my performance
and while his review was not exactly as expected
it was probably right on the mark:
‘you were like a cat in heat!’
my friend got an ‘a’ on the project.
“drama starts where logic ends.”
image credits: ‘to kill a mockingbird’ -universal pictures
as merely an observer of the event
I’d have to guess
that she when she arrived at the store
perhaps with the intention
of buying a tea towel
she did not plan to leave
with a giant metal chicken
and may have even worried
that if she did not buy it today
someone else might come along
they too could not live without it
one day longer.
life is funny that way.
‘buying involves decision-making.
it’s a performance activity, like sports or acting.’
such an interesting mix at lunch
sugar cookies, grated parmesan cheese, and red pepper flakes
it made me wonder a bit
when I inquired I was told
the cheese and peppers were there
because they were serving Italian food in the kitchen
and the cookies were there
because this was their new location
and I kind of loved
the ‘no logical reason’ reason for the combination
it made it even better
and why not after all?
“things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that’s awesome.”
morning yoga at the farmers’ market.
what I passed as I drove by
on my way to get bagels.
it’s all about balance.
some days it’s yoga and organic veggies
in the morning light.
other days it’s drinking a latte
and eating a chocolate chip bagel
with whipped cream cheese
while wearing the yoga pants you woke up in.
“extremes are easy. strive for balance.”