Category Archives: humor

mugs.

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met my dear friend at a recently reopened local diner

for breakfast and a long overdue catch-up

mid-breakfast she noticed the variety of cups they used

all from other sources

mine was covered with the logo of an alcoholic beverage

hers bore the name of a blood pressure/heart medication

luck of the draw, kind of like a fortune cookie

can make or break your whole day

we had a great laugh and talked about

how we both choose our morning mugs for coffee depending on our moods and needs

each morning we seek out and grab, without much conscious thought, the mug we need to start that day

do we reach for –

the inspirational-phrased mug, the heavy mug, the ego-boosting mug, the gift mug, sentimental mug, the deep thought mug, the light as a feather delicate china mug with the flora or fauna, art mug, clean mug, favorite place mug, photo mug, travel mug, joke mug, big mug, little mug, ironic mug, two-hands needed mug, favorite color – shape – size, ceramic, plastic, paper, metal, glass, unbreakable mug?

i knew we were friends for a reason.

“i have a mug that actually verifies that i’m the world’s best dad.

that’s a mug. that’s not me talking.

you can’t just buy those.”

-stephen colbert

please don’t ask for extra glasses.

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it is my great pleasure to introduce you

to humor writer and fellow blogger Barb Taub’s latest book

PLEASE DON’T ASK FOR EXTRA GLASSES

it’s a rollicking tale of friendship, fun, travel to India adventure and misadventure

all taken with a tiny grain of salt and huge dose of humor

it’s a wonderful multi-cultural mashup of history, color photos,

travel tips, shopping advice, food suggestions, language and negotiation skills,

and chock full of ‘I wish we’d known that/what not to do lessons’

even if you never plan to travel to India, you’re sure to enjoy this read.

https://barbtaub.com/

Amazon US

Amazon UK

“she generally gave herself good advice, though she very seldom followed it.”

-lewis carroll

say my name.

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i recently made a new recipe

and

finally used my worcestershire sauce!

like finding an old friend

nothing had really changed

  still can’t pronounce your name

still in that familiar bottle

how nice to bump into you

so long until i see you again

whenever that might be.

 

“i’m pretty sure 2020’s safe word was

worcestershire sauce

and we couldn’t say it right.”

-T-laine

*happy lmtwgrblkufgdw.

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so happy to be celebrating

*Love Makes the World Go Round;

But, Laughter Keeps Us From Getting Dizzy Week: 8-14 

i feel lucky to have a job that keeps me laughing.

who else gets to say/respond to such great things at work?

“you need to have pants on.”

“try not to touch every person in the room”

“i know you washed your hands this morning, but it is afternoon now.”

“fish don’t really like to be hugged.”

“try to bend your legs to sit on the sled, that is called making them stiff and that is different, try to bend…..”

“did you call me grandpa?”

“it’s important to have both shoes.”

“before we start we all have to promise not to cry if we don’t get to the candy castle first.”

“behind you is that way.”

“why did she call you beth?”

“if you put that in your nose, it might not come out.”

“your snowpants are backwards, let’s see if i can help you fix that.”

“you want to be called something new?”

“i’m pretty sure these are your boots because your parents put them in your bag and they have your name on them.”

“your mom is having a baby but you’re not supposed to tell anyone yet?”

“i’m not sure that ranch dressing is good to drink.”

each day is the best day ever.

never a day goes by without a laugh or ten. 

 

 

 

image credit: puffin puff pastry, google images

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

most obvious.

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should we swim or play ice hockey today?

luckily this sign helps to make the decision easier.

“i try not to go the obvious route all the time,

but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.”

-al yankovich

 

 

 

image credit: jim grampie, at gallup park, ann arbor

wrong crowd.

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somebody didn’t listen to their mother

and 

‘got in with the wrong crowd.’

“it’s a dangerous business, frodo, going out your door.

you step onto the road,

and if you don’t keep your feet,

there’s not knowing where you might be swept off to.”

j.r.r. tolkien, The Lord of the Rings–

tangled.

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all went well on my annual visit to the doctor 

except 

for a bit of a ‘gown snafu’

(this picture does not even begin to do it justice)

when i went to put it on

i couldn’t tell

which side

was supposed to be inside or outside

there were pockets both inside and outside

snaps all over the place

numerous ties of various sizes and locations

parts of the fabric were tucked into each other

no matter how i configured it

it just didn’t seem designed

for any sort of human form

knowing that i was under a time crunch

i quickly tried a few different scenarios

the multitude of mini-snaps

were designed for the hands of fairy

 ties were in illogical places

i somehow had to craft my own sleeves

feeling as though

i was in a speed design contest

or playing a  party game

 i finally just settled on my final look

 kind of wrapping the whole thing around me

covering things

snapping things

tying things

 when my doc came in she started laughing

saying

“you are sleeveless on one side

the front is in back

things are tied up all over”

she was impressed by my creativity

when i asked about the gown

she smiled and said

“it’s a cognitive test”

that’s why she’s so great

i hope she was kidding. 

“when everything becomes tangled, you should make the choice.” 

-roman simonyan

teriyaki time.

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teriyaki time (not for gambling)

the bag of loot my daughter gave me

with a friendly reminder

to pick up the sushi lunch

and not go to the casino or track

with the cash and the kids.

 

Quote from ‘Dumb & Dumber’:

LLOYD: “I’ll bet you 20 bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day!?”

HARRY: “No way.”

LLOYD: “I’ll give you 3 to 1 odds?”

HARRY: “Nope.”

LLOYD: “5 to 1?”

HARRY: “Nope.”

LLOYD: “10 to 1?”

HARRY: “You’re on.”