Category Archives: humor

new mistake.

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how was i to know

when i walked in

a little cafe

new to me

great food

that when i started

talking to my friend

about to leave 

cleaned up our table

distracted

more chatting 

saw the open slot

threw my trash in 

realized

not trash slot

 part of decor

not trash slot

no way to get it out

not trash slot

part of a built-in fake wall

told my friend 

two construction workers

sitting near us

busted out laughing

promised not to tell

good thing it was all paper

i’m sure someone else

must have done this before

maybe many

saw our construction guys 

outside 

laughing again

as they drove off

in their truck

“there are endless possibilities for new mistakes no one has ever seen before.”

― james irwin, author

superhuman.

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ready to drizzle

tear the seal

unwrap

twist off

the cap

no

the glass

how

does

this

happen

do i

have

super human strength

and don’t know it?

 

‘it is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.’

J.R.R. Tolkien

‘stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper. ‘- jonas eriksson

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found this new gift idea when visiting on of my favorite restaurants

now i can get everyone the same thing this year

no returns and it will fit all recipients

just check the box for the occasion

or write in your own

 you’re good to go. 

 

‘we buy our own toilet paper even here in the white house.’

-Barack Obama, 44th president of the united states

 

york ann arbor, michigan, uss

scurryfunge.

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who’s with me on this? have any of you also scurryfunged? 

To scurryfunge is to hurriedly clean the house before company arrives. This word has had a looser meaning of “to move rapidly” since the early 19th century but likely wasn’t used in the sense of a rapid cleanup until the 1950s, when it appeared in U.S. regional dialects. One definition was included in the 1975 book Maine Lingo by John Gould: “a hasty tidying of the house between the time you see a neighbor coming and the time she knocks on the door.” “Scurry” means “to move in or as if in a brisk pace,” but “Funge” remains a bit of an etymological mystery. This is debated. Some sources say it was a word in Old English, others say it is of “jocular formation.’’

 

 

 

 

source credits: babushka cat, interesting words, maine lingo, john gould

 

 

tired.

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one of the friendly deer

at the mall’s spring easter bunny display 

  reached her limit and is way overtired

from all of the holiday hullabaloo

 now taking a much overdue nap.

her friend and fellow actor

stands daydreaming 

waiting to move on to their next gig

hoping for a nice earth day spot

in the shade of an ancient tree at a state park

near a quiet freshwater stream 

filled with a playful and friendly otter family.

 

‘i am tired of getting typecast.’

-ashish vidyarthi

craveable?

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nothing about this really appeals to me

but to each their own

maybe pizza soup in a bag

will be the next big thing

 i’m just not getting it

maybe i should be drawn

to the dripping greasy stuff

it says it’s

proper good

and a

craveable creation

so –

 

‘part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like

and let the food fight it out inside.’

~ mark twain

the way it happened.

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‘it had come about exactly the way it happened in books.’ 

-agatha christie

 

 

 

art credit: tom gauld

erma bombeck’s writer’s conference

storks.

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two white storks building a nest together for their young

spring is in the air and –

this confirms it

this is where babies come from,

I knew it!

‘the stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.’

-will cuppy

*Will Cuppy, ( 1884-1949) was an American humorist and literary critic, known for his satirical books about nature and historical figures.

 

 

image source:  birdfact

 

noted.

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while staying with the menagerie at my daughter’s house

we had the chance to watch a lot of the olympics together

some of us had strong opinions about the competition. 

 

‘your opinion has been duly noted.’

-garfield the cat

 

 

 

art credit: babushka cat.com

the unusual suspects.

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the scene of the crime

down by the river near my house

no one left any fingerprints

whodunnit?

official lineup of suspects down at the station

all trying to look quite innocent 

who do you think it is?

 

 

‘and someone will say it was the dog.’

-Homer Simpson, the Simpsons