Category Archives: humor

i am visited enough.

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 there’s a phrase in german (regional,) meaning “i am feeling visited enough”

that you can say when you want company to go, and this is brilliant.

it’s “ich fühle mich jetzt genug besucht.” 

use as needed.

 

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credits: united humanists, warner brothers pictures photo

strawberry shampoo does not taste as good as it smells.

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i had asked my daughter

to pick out a nice shampoo and conditioner for me

 was excited to get these

loved reading the labels

here are just some of the words/phrases on the packaging:

Resurrection 

For weak, brittle hair that needs an intervention!

Damage Level – 3

Micro shields boost strength and stamina

Great results may cause your hair’s ego to inflate to astronomical proportions.

what?! ‘damage level -3’?!

i love the descriptors

who could resist even one of these?

and also there is so much little writing on the label

 the shampoo and conditioner bottles look exactly the same

 once i’m in the shower i have no idea which is which

and i always forget to look before i get in

and i’m not getting out to get my glasses on

so i have a 50/50 chance of getting it right, a roll of the dice

and sometimes i lose

this is what i call an ‘x-treme’ hair care experience.

“sorry I can’t hear you over the volume of my hair.”

-author unknown

good humor.

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nothing like seeing a good humor truck in the summertime.

what’s your personal go-to order?

i’m all about the ice cream sandwiches or strawberry shortcake bars.

 

“there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”

-charles dickens

alignment.

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Bread bag alignment chart

 

 i’m a hybrid of chaotic neutral and lawful evil, a razor’s edge of distinction between them.

what does this say about me? 

which are you closest to?

“the things that bring you the greatest joy are in alignment with your purpose.”

-jack canfield

 

source credit: flowingdata.com

midnight diner.

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it’s not really a weekend at the lake house

with a group of friends

until someone

finds whatever they can

late at night

to saw through the plastic

and chop off a chunk of something in the kitchen.

 

“midnight happiness is eating at 2am”

-paridhi sinha

not the light.

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when people continue to push the wrong button

over and over and over again

attempting to turn out the light

 opening the garage door instead

it’s clear they need more help

and calls for drastic measures.

they may not be sure what this is

but at least

they are now sure what it is not.

 

“there is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.”
-sir arthur conan doyle

would you believe…?

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saw this (now vintage) ad 

from my younger days

and wondered

how many of you still owe columbia house the $1.00?

i keep waiting for someone to come to the door

looking to take back my records or cassettes.

or the dollar that i never sent in. 

“both my parents worked, so i was home alone a lot, and i would listen to their records.

they belonged to the columbia house record club, so they had records!”

-lyle lovett