dinner of swedish samplings
shopping for fun things for the classroom
with my co-teachers
wandering through
the twisted path of ikea aisles
a friendly employee
leads us to
yet another secret door
a shortcut through the labyrinth.
—
“there are many secret doors around us, in plain sight.
we just don’t take the time to find and open them.”
-rebecca ross, author
sh
( a reblog, in honor of ikea’s 80th anniversary)
—
after a long while
and a lot of swedish kaffe
i made it
through
the ikea rat maze
but not before gathering
as usual
all kinds of ‘domgjingos’
and other unexplained things along the way
along with the one item I set out to buy.
I was feeling victorious
when things took a turn.
I left my cart at the end of an aisle
to get a closer look
at an exciting ‘grushlbonker’ of some sort
and my cart went missing.
I first thought that maybe I had misplaced it.
no luck.
I then looked for someone ahead of me
who may have mistakenly grabbed the wrong cart.
still no luck.
I watched for someone to suddenly do an about face
and hurriedly return with the wrong cart in hand
a bit embarrassed and mumbling an apology.
still no luck.
maybe it was my giant blue used $1.49 bag
I had in there that was so appealing?
what could anyone else possibly
find any use for, or value
in the odd collection of things I’d snagged along the way?
I couldn’t even remember most of what I had in there
but now I felt I needed each of them for some reason
and was somehow missing them.
I decided to consider it a small gift to the universe
someone must have needed it all more than me.
I hadn’t paid for anything yet
so no loss
other than time and energy
and of course
that fancy blue bag
but most of all
I had no desire to rerun the maze
so I grabbed a few new things
I didn’t know that I needed
along the route to the register.
and threw in
a shiny new blue bag
along with
a 6-pack of cinnamon rolls
just for good measure.
—
“why would anyone steal a shopping cart? it’s like stealing a two year old.”
-erma bombeck
i went shopping
for two very different gifts
the first
a bit of fancy lingerie for a soon to be bride to be
the second
a book about animal art for my granddaughter’s soon to be birthday
all went well at the first shop, i found a beautiful gift
at the second shop, i found the perfect book
but when i looked down
i noticed that the lingerie has spilled out of my bag
right onto the floor
smack dab in the center of the little indy bookstore
i casually picked it up without too much fuss
laughing to myself
but when i tried to put it back in the bag
i discovered that the bag had torn
which led to it falling out in the first place
when next trying to quickly stuff it in the bag
it kept getting worse
falling to the ground a couple more times
so i finally
had to scoop the whole mess up in my arms
and clutch it to my body
carrying it to the register to buy the book
leaving one arm free to pay
no one said a word
but they did offer me a small chocolate and a smile as i left.
—
“i left the room with silent dignity, but caught my foot in the mat.”
-george grossman
three out of three are down for the count.
everyone enjoys the ‘shopping experience’ in their own way.
—
“shopping is always fun for those that enjoy it.”
-auliq ice
a piece of driftwood
mixed in
among the vases and mirrors and tchotchkes and other home decor items
and while i’m a fan of natural found materials
i was not really motivated to spend $39.99 on this
but i do now have an idea for my summer job –
beachcomber.
—
“i imagined your stick, washing in the waves for hundreds of years,
turning to driftwood
smooth and hard like stone.
i imagined a little girl finding it on a beach so many years later.
saving it on her shelf,
where she put the things that made her feel like the world was magical.”
– ava dellaira
a white-tailed deer startled shoppers
after it wandered in and strolled the aisles in a dollar general store
it seems even mother nature can’t resist low prices.
—
Shoppers were joined by an unexpected patron Friday when a female white-tailed deer wandered into the Dollar General store in Jackson, Michigan.
“I was shopping and I heard a commotion coming from the front of the store,” said Connie MacGuinness, a customer in the store at the time. “I heard people calling out ‘Oh no!” MacGuinness turned around to see the deer walking straight toward her down the aisle, she said. “I was stunned for a quick minute, then got out my phone.”
A report of the animal’s escapades reached the Jackson Police Department. Police and Fire Services Director Elmer Hitt said within a few minutes, officers from JPD and Jackson County Animal Control arrived to help lead the doe back out of the store. “It seemed as scared as we were, but it didn’t run around or seem upset,” MacGuinness said.
Another shopper told MacGuinness they saw the deer walk into the store through the open sliding door at the front of the building.The deer was in the building for about 20 minutes before police guided it outside an open door by barricading the aisles with boxes and carts.
*note: my personal theory is that rudolph had a lot of shopping to do,
hoped to beat the black friday crowd in november,
wanted to fly under the radar, and stock up on some good deals.
unfortunately rudolph is now such a celebrity
that it’s hard to be out in public
without being noticed and posted about on social media. – beth
—
“i’m like rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. if i’m not ready, the sled isn’t going to go.
-kevin garnett, nba championship player
—
credits: photo – connie macguinness, mitchell kukula, mlive.com, jackson police and fire
The “Aisle of Shame” is the unofficial name Aldi enthusiasts have given the store’s middle aisle, home to a weekly rotation of curious edible and non-edible products available only while supplies last. We’re talking everything from vegan lasagna made from lentils to a churro maker and apple cinnamon latte-flavored dog biscuits. The recipe for the Aisle of Shame’s surprising cult status combines the joy of a bargain, the thrill of discovery, the allure of the unusual, and the satisfaction of snapping up a limited-time offer.
“It’s something that you can use to express yourself and add fun and joy to your grocery shopping,” says enthusiastic shopper Brenna Bazemore of its odd assortment of products. “I hate grocery shopping, but I love to go to Aldi and shop, because I know I’m at least going to get something that I can use outside of food and that’s always exciting to me.”
While each week’s AOS items can often seem like a compilation of randomness, a method exists. Since Aldi keeps prices low by stocking about 1,400 products (mostly staples) compared to a conventional grocery store’s 40,000, the AOS introduces more excitement and variety for shoppers. The aisle, which each week is split 50-50 between edible and non-edible items, often has a theme, whether seasonal (pumpkin foods in the fall; pool products in the summer) or regional (many AOS enthusiasts plan meals of schnitzel, spätzle, and strudel around the aisle’s German Week). Nils Brandes, a retail consultant who has co-written a book on Aldi’s business strategies, estimates that 20 percent of all yearly sales come from these products.
The Aisle of Shame is also where the grocers test new products to gauge their popularity—the vegetarian and vegan Earth Grown and gluten-free LiveGfree product lines, for instance, advanced from the AOS to the main aisles. “It’s crazy to think this is a grocery-store community,” Bazemore says.
After some thought, McKillip observes that Aldi shoppers might be more down-to-earth, their need to make a dollar stretch giving them both a healthier perspective about the products and more joy when they have room in their carts and budgets for the AOS’s more quirky products. Ultimately, though, she offers a simpler explanation: “It’s fun.”
—
“you’ve got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-eleven.”
-dennis miller
while shopping at target recently
i found myself in a long, slow, self-checkout line
behind a family of three-
a tired after a long day looking mother
a perky tween daughter
and a high-energy young son
who was clearly bored and restless.
needing to create something to do
the young son
somehow found a way to
push his head through the middle of the skeleton wreath
that they were waiting to purchase.
due to the crazy universal law of
‘on is easier than off’
he could not get it
back over his head to take it off again.
first he tried to get it off himself,
then his sister joined in,
when she heard his yelping
mom turned around, sighed, put her things down, and proceeded to help
looking at her wits end
as they patiently worked their way toward the front of the snaking line
continuing to struggle with the skeleton wreath removal project.
when they finally were in the front
mom asked the store clerk if she could scan the wreath while he was still wearing it
and deal with getting it off after they purchased it
she got the go ahead, scanned it on his neck, along with all her other items
and moved out of line.
employees quickly jumped in to help
with one holding his ears flat,
another tilting the wreath in a variety of positions,
his mother putting lotion on his face
moving his head up and down,
and his sister trying to keep him calm.
when they were finally able to free his head from the wreath
he stopped crying
mom quietly pushed her cart out of the store
her son carrying the wreath
his sister holding his hand
looking like they were all more than ready to head home.
—
“there is no panic like the panic when you momentarily feel
when you get your hand or head stuck in something.”
-peter kay
so much going on
if nothing else
you might never need
to shop anywhere else
so many options
none really appeal to me
maybe because i’m in the
‘& everybody else’ category
maybe it’s something else.
—
“marketing is too important to be left to the marketing department.”
~ david packard
fashion fad: mittens are the new shoes.
—
“organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.”
-a.a. milne
I didn't have my glasses on.... 