brought this discovery
that it’s impossible
for a heart to be too big.
“one day we will realize that big hearts will bring us more peace than big weapons.”
as we watched
the big kids perform
‘a christmas carol’
‘why is that man so mean?’
‘why is he so crabby?’
‘how can he be that mean?’
I told them that later in the play
mr. scrooge’s heart will grow
and he will learn to be nice
just like what happened to the grinch
it made my own heart grow
to think about
their naturally kind and compassionate state of being
how they could not even begin to imagine
why someone would choose to be mean.
‘i think being nice is more important than being clever.’
I find it simply impossible
to sit through
one single episode of
without tears rolling down my face
or to watch
one rerun of
without laughing out loud.
my daughters have said
that most of my own stories
end with me
either crying or laughing.
my heart is the real boss of me.
“Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss
that’s always trying to teach people things.
Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.”
(Season 2, Episode 11) The Office – Michael Scott (Steve Carrell)
image credit: nbc tv/comedy central – the office
walking up to the register
i saw the cashier
a bit of an awkward, gawky type
with kind eyes and a worried face
who didn’t appear to have a lot of self-confidence
having just finished with a customer
he was ready to deal with my order.
his head was down
i said hello
he looked at me and said
“that last customer told me to smile.
he has no idea how hard it is for me
how hard it is to be here right now
no idea what im dealing with
what i’m going through
how it’s a miracle i’m even here
it would be really hard for anyone
i have to be here until midnight
this is just the beginning of my shift.”
as he quietly told me this
tears began to slowly roll down his face
he grabbed a box of tissues to wipe them away
all the while continuing to check me out.
we bagged my things together
as he went on –
“they told me to hold in my emotions
but i think its okay to show them
what’s wrong with that, i think it’s a good thing?”
when he finished with my order
his manager came over
with a compassionate and not angry face
without a word
took over his register
i thanked him for helping me
agreed that it’s certainly okay to feel and express things
told him that i hope things will get better
he walked off in silence and punched out
i hope that he takes a long break
goes home for the day
whatever he needs
has someone waiting for him who will support him
i don’t think he wanted an answer from me
just wanted me to listen
to acknowledge his humanity
his struggles, his emotions
tell him that it was okay for him to feel and express them
i hope he is back when i stop in for my weekly grocery shop.
i hope that things are better.
“tears come from the heart and not from the brain.”
-leonardo da vinci