try as he might
my colleague was not able to convince anyone
to steal from him
or trade with him
for this monstrosity of a white elephant gift
that he randomly chose
at our faculty holiday party
it was as huge as a shield, very heavy, and not the most beautiful
(even said on the back that it was microwaveable,
but would not come anywhere near fitting
into any microwave i’ve ever seen,
and was edged in metal)
but we did laugh about it the entire time
and that is certainly worth something. 
‘the manner of giving is worth more than the gift.’
