when i received my ninja 1000
as a wonderful gift
i (aka peaches) was elated
ready to chop, dice shred, blend, puree..
but right from the beginning
it was clear that my ninja had the same plans for me
every time i used it
my fingers would somehow end up sliced
everyone i asked who had one
said this had never happened to them
and it was obvious to me
that the ninja was winning.
in my own ninja counter move
i have decided to pass him on
to another potential victim
with the user’s manual, a box of ‘my little pony’ bandaids,
and a wish to both of them for the best of luck.
*tangent: during this saga, i was reminded of the pink panther movies
where peter sellers and his manservant/ninja, cato
were constantly battling in surprise situations
in an effort to keep inspector clouseau in top form.
*Cato Fong is Clouseau’s Chinese manservant, trained to attack him regularly to keep him alert and skilled in martial arts. Cato and Clouseau have a love-hate relationship, with their fights being long and vicious, as well as destructive to the furniture, and always interupted by the telephone ringing, at which point they will become civil again. Cato puts a lot of effort into taking his employer by surprise, and Clouseau never really feels safe as Cato will stop at nothing. A running gag is Cato attacking Clouseau during a romantic moment, or else Clouseau going away and Cato transforming the apartment.
“only a ninja can stop a ninja”
credits: united artists, pink panther films