Category Archives: injury

ninja vs. peaches.

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when i received my ninja 1000

as a wonderful gift

i (aka peaches) was elated

ready to chop, dice shred, blend, puree..

but right from the beginning

it was clear that my ninja had the same plans for me

 every time i used it

my fingers would somehow end up sliced

 everyone i asked who had one

said this had never happened to them

and it was obvious to me

that the ninja was winning.

in my own ninja counter move

i have decided to pass him on

to another potential victim

with the user’s manual, a box of ‘my little pony’ bandaids,

and a wish to both of them for the best of luck.


*tangent: during this saga, i was reminded of the pink panther movies

where peter sellers and his manservant/ninja, cato

were constantly battling in surprise situations

in an effort to keep inspector clouseau in top form. 

*Cato Fong is Clouseau’s Chinese manservant, trained to attack him regularly to keep him alert and skilled in martial arts. Cato and Clouseau have a love-hate relationship, with their fights being long and vicious, as well as destructive to the furniture, and always interupted by the telephone ringing, at which point they will become civil again. Cato puts a lot of effort into taking his employer by surprise, and Clouseau never really feels safe as Cato will stop at nothing. A running gag is Cato attacking Clouseau during a romantic moment, or else Clouseau going away and Cato transforming the apartment.

“only a ninja can stop a ninja”

-sho kosygin

 

 

 

 

credits: united artists, pink panther films

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things that go bump in the night.

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a021081such a chilly night

that i

ran up

the stairs

 to my

cozy

loft bedroom

with the

slanted ceilings

and i

was

so happy

to be there

that i

jumped into bed

just like

in the movies

with piles of

warm soft blankets

and

pillows

waiting for me

but

 somehow

my head

went first

and i

jumped into

the slanted ceiling

instead

then i

fell into bed

holding my head

and wondering

would i

wake up?

and i

 saw a few stars

though i

 don’t have a skylight

so i

wrote down

two questions

to ask myself

to check on

 my

potential concussion

who is the president?

what is your name?

that’s what

they always ask

in the movies

but i

 forgot

to wake up

to ask them of myself

and i

forgot

to write down the answers

how

would i

ever know

if i

got them right?

all

that i

do know for sure

is

that i

woke up

with

a  giant bump

of some kind

on my head

pinte.com

don’t let your head get in the way of your hearts direction…

– daniel engelbrecht

 

image credits: wbur.org, pinterest.com

unhappy feet.

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nationalgeographic.com

the more injuries you get, the smarter you get.
mikhail baryshnikov

yes, it’s a sports injury.

no, i was not

playing in a world cup match

representing the u.s.a.

i was

walking in the house

while singing bohemian rhapsody.

with gusto.

opera style.

a door jumped in my way.

out of nowhere.

now my baby toe is broken.

and feels a little jacked up.

i must be a genius by now.

image credit: nationalgeographic.omc