Tag Archives: humor

scout.

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scout (in the original), walks home dressed as a ham.

I was cast to play scout

in a scene from ‘to kill a mockingbird’

as a favor for my friend

who was in an oral interpretation class

during her later in life college days.

the scene was the one

where scout was dressed as a ham

walking home through the woods

and the victim of an unknown attacker.

as I’m an incredibly horrible actress

I double-checked to see if she was sure

about wanting me for the role.

she was desperate and had no one else

so I was perfect, and was in!

she also cast my boyfriend at the time

as my brother

and our about to deliver a baby any second friend

as the narrator

that was it.

 the only actors in the scene.

we were the holy trinity of non-talent.

one important thing that I needed to know

in spite of knowing my few lines

to be delivered in a frantic southern accent

with lots of screaming and thrashing movements

was that my attacker was not going to actually exist on stage

it was all interpretive

I had to imagine and act

like I was being attacked

as I wrestled with my invisible assailant.

at last the big day finally arrived

the curtain rose

I drawled and shrieked out my part

rolling around, slamming into the walls

and fighting my attacker who did not exist

all while dressed in my ham costume.

once it was over

we all took our bows

 happy when the curtain finally went down.

after, I asked my friend’s husband,

(who was kind enough to have been in the audience

so we would be sure to have someone who clapped)

what he thought of my performance

and while his review was not exactly as expected

it was probably right on the mark:

‘you were like a cat in heat!’

my friend got an ‘a’ on the project.

“drama starts where logic ends.”

-ram charan

 

image credits: ‘to kill a mockingbird’ -universal pictures

fun is just a bite away.

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I’m curious why

there would be signs

distinguishing between

‘candy’ and kids candy?’

and then the added category of

‘candy bars.’

what if the sign just read ‘candy’ ?

I’ve never considered candy to be age-specific.

are toxic extreme sour patch garbage pail warheads

the gateway into a peppermint patty?

seems like it should be the other way around.

what’s the cutoff age to qualify to eat adult candy?

is it humiliating if you’re an adult and are seen eating the kid’s candy?

is it open season to eat the bars and all ages are welcome?

do you have to get someone to buy for you

if you don’t look the proper age?

do they see it as marketing to 3 different groups

each needing their own candy sign

all in one aisle?

who sorts them and decides which is suited for which?


I like to live on the edge and went with the rollos.

 

“taste the rainbow.”
John Bowen

cow.

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biggest cow I ever met.

 

“this was more than just a cow – this was an entire career I was looking at.”

*gary larson – the far side

*(word has it that gary may be considering bringing back my favorite comic of all time)

 

 

 

 

 

 

nixon farm, dexter, mi, usa – October 2019

panic in the disco.

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(not me, but I had the same face when looking in the mirror this morning)

ever have one of those mornings

when you wake up very suddenly

notice it’s not dark outside

like it always is

when you wake up to go to work

you text your work partners

panicked and feeling guilty

to apologize

say you’ll be there asap

wondering why you didn’t hear your alarm go off

thinking about how you can get ready and do a make-over in 5 minutes

then begin to text your bosses to say the same

only to realize in the middle of typing

that it is

actually sunday

not monday

 have to type again

to apologize for waking everyone up?

just asking….

 

 

“forgive me if I sleep until I wake up. “

-charles olson

 

 

 

image credit: bored panda

hopeful.

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to say that the detroit lions

have not played like a top tier team in a long time

is an understatement. 

I found this display

in the middle of a big box hardware store

with no explanation

and loved the artistic statement it made. 

this still somewhat hopeful

and ever loyal fan

has been waiting quite a long time for a win.

that is strong and that is funny.

“i’m a hopeful cynic.”

-tracy chapman