Tag Archives: humor

poles apart.

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yep, not me. 

just wondering why my fitness app

is willing to measure

pole dancing but not pole vaulting

both involve strength and flying.

 

 

“i have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise.

but I always wear heels, even around the house.

i’m such a short little thing,

i can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.”

-dolly parton

 

 

photo credit: naviant health

no joke.

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not me, but the same look i get when i realize i’ve forgotten a part of my only joke, yet again.

i love to tell stories, laugh, talk, improv, and share amusing tid-bits

but for the life of me

i absolutely cannot tell a joke

forgetting a line

mixing up the order

messing up the punchline delivery

all that

and

i only have one joke

 and that’s no joke.

“i don’t know how to tell a joke. i never tell jokes.

i can tell stories that happened to me… anecdotes.

but never a joke.”

-lucille ball

 

image credit: pinterest

watching.

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just a subtle reminder that

olive the cat not the martini garnish/editor at large/bon vivant

is always watching

ready to offer ‘worldly suggestions’ to improve my writing.

 

“you can observe a lot just by watching.”

-yogi berra

just stop.

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for those who may be unsure

i’m going to just go ahead and say it:

a stop sign in not meant to be a suggestion. 

(good thing there’s a backup here for a second chance to get it right)

‘if you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.”

-orson welles

to raisin, or not to raisin? that is the question.

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on the very first day

of my new and improved

healthy eating and exercise initiative

a rogue chocolate-covered raisin

emerged from hiding

 under a blanket on my sofa

where it had quietly sat

lying in wait

for me to discover it

i stopped

breathless

 knowing this tiny temptation

was a test

 oh, what a test

who would know

just one

 practically a fruit and coffee/cacao product

dark chocolate and fruit are both good for my heart

who cares if there’s a bit of blanket fuzz on it

that’s just added fiber

could this be the gateway

to a slice of triple-layer chocolate cake or velveta-laden nachos?

not today, fuzzy amazing hidden chocolate-covered raisin, not today.

the struggle is real.

i looked to the writers to seek their wisdom

they have a difference of opinion on this.

are you on team wilde or team emerson when it comes to temptation?

“i can resist everything except temptation.”

-oscar wilde

“we gain the strength of the temptation we resist.”

-ralph waldo emerson

you can’t deny laughter.

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memoirists, novelists, songwriters, television writers, screenwriters, comedy writers, social media writers, cookbook authors, newspaper writers, bloggers, it writers, comicstrip writers, standup comedians, human interest writers, 92 year old and 17 year old writers, actors, playwrights, short story writers, cartoonists…

so much creative energy all in one place

learning, listening, talking, writing, improv, playing, crying, laughing my face off with stomach hurting fun.

not your usual conference

not your usual hotel drawer reading material

“you can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.”

-stephen king

 

cheetle.

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Giant roadside Cheeto

The Cheetos brand erected the statue of a hand holding a massive Cheeto, immortalizing the sticky orange residue that Cheetos leave on your fingertips, in Cheadle, Alberta. The community was chosen because of its name’s similarity to “cheetle,” the company’s official name for Cheeto dust.

“Cheetos fans have always known that the delicious, cheesy dust on their fingertips is an unmistakably delicious part of the Cheetos experience, but now it officially has a name: Cheetle,” said Lisa Allie, the senior marketing director at PepsiCo Foods Canada, which distributes Cheetos in the country.

“We’re excited to be celebrating Cheetle and Canadians’ cheesy, Cheetle-dusted fingertips on such a grand scale, (17-feet tall), and in such a uniquely mischievous way.”

The unique piece of art won’t stay in Cheadle forever, however, according to Cheetos’ news release. Cheadle residents and visitors can check out the big, cheesy fingers until Nov. 4. Then, the monument will embark on a tour of other locations in Canada.

Cheadle is a hamlet located in Alberta’s Wheatland County. Its population is tiny: Just 83 people lived there in 2021, according to the Canadian census.

*note – as a huge fan of ‘flamin’ hot cheetos,’ i fully endorse this artistic endeavor

“I love Cheetos, those hot, spicy kind. And chocolate.
Every time I’m in the airport I’m buying Cheetos and eating them on the airplane.”
-Alessandra Amrbrosio

credits: zoe sottile, cnn, cheetos

 

lwd. (laughing while driving.) is this a ticket-able offense?

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The Patron Saint of Second Chances

 a debut novel by Christine Simon

on my weekday commutes to school

i listen to quite a few books

and this

was the first one in a long time

that had me laughing out loud while driving

while i may have looked a bit crazy

 it was so worth it for the belly laughs

all from this book

set in a small italian village

filled with larger than life, passionate, eccentric characters

who you will absolutely fall in love with

a community who finds a way

where no path is clear

using the power of optimism, love, and fate

(along with a few pleas to obscure patron saints)

to overcome all obstacles.

you simply will not want this beautiful story to end.

 bella.

“my optimism wears heavy boots and is loud.”

-henry rollins

 

 

image credit/publisher: atria books

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