Tag Archives: humor

piece of my art.

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the cats have done it again

(the most likely suspects)

a long while after putting my latest puzzle away

without finding a missing piece 

they have left a piece at my feet

now all i have to do is find their secret lair

where i may discover a treasure trove

of all of my missing ‘one-pieces.’

 

“sometimes the hardest pieces of a puzzle to assemble, are the ones missing from the box.”

-dixie waters

no mo’ venmo.

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vs.

coming up on the 4-month mark

of an ongoing battle with venmo

can’t even begin to tell the story in short form

 truly the perfect storm of events.

after talking, live chatting, and e-mailing

landon, santiago, elizabeth, miguel, ren, sacha, and abby

i won’t say which low-budget model above

most resembles me in the match

but i will say there is no doubt i am winning.

p.s.

i wonder if team venmo is posting a blog today

with our pictures

saying there is no doubt they are winning.

“i don’t like customer service because i don’t believe the customer should have to pay and help out too.”

-jarod kintz

 

perfume and purse dirt.

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yes, i found this old piece of gum

on the bottom of my purse

half-opened with glittery stuff and crumbs of unknown origin stuck to it

what might you find in the bottom of your/your mother’s purse?

 

“when your mom gives you a pre-ripped half piece of doublemint gum

and it tastes like perfume and purse dirt. “

– author unknown

krabby!

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not sure this is the best brand name and marketing plan

or that there was a focus group….

 

 

“these were such friendly people, they didn’t notice how crabby we were, and before you knew it everyone was as happy as they were.”

-nora raleigh baskin

going nowhere.

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thought it might be interesting

to expose the cats to a bit of world geography 

while sipping a refreshing drink.

so far they have refused to take any quizzes

but i’m confident they are learning by osmosis. 

 

“without geography, you’re nowhere.”

  • -author unknown

mugs.

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met my dear friend at a recently reopened local diner

for breakfast and a long overdue catch-up

mid-breakfast she noticed the variety of cups they used

all from other sources

mine was covered with the logo of an alcoholic beverage

hers bore the name of a blood pressure/heart medication

luck of the draw, kind of like a fortune cookie

can make or break your whole day

we had a great laugh and talked about

how we both choose our morning mugs for coffee depending on our moods and needs

each morning we seek out and grab, without much conscious thought, the mug we need to start that day

do we reach for –

the inspirational-phrased mug, the heavy mug, the ego-boosting mug, the gift mug, sentimental mug, the deep thought mug, the light as a feather delicate china mug with the flora or fauna, art mug, clean mug, favorite place mug, photo mug, travel mug, joke mug, big mug, little mug, ironic mug, two-hands needed mug, favorite color – shape – size, ceramic, plastic, paper, metal, glass, unbreakable mug?

i knew we were friends for a reason.

“i have a mug that actually verifies that i’m the world’s best dad.

that’s a mug. that’s not me talking.

you can’t just buy those.”

-stephen colbert

please don’t ask for extra glasses.

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it is my great pleasure to introduce you

to humor writer and fellow blogger Barb Taub’s latest book

PLEASE DON’T ASK FOR EXTRA GLASSES

it’s a rollicking tale of friendship, fun, travel to India adventure and misadventure

all taken with a tiny grain of salt and huge dose of humor

it’s a wonderful multi-cultural mashup of history, color photos,

travel tips, shopping advice, food suggestions, language and negotiation skills,

and chock full of ‘I wish we’d known that/what not to do lessons’

even if you never plan to travel to India, you’re sure to enjoy this read.

https://barbtaub.com/

Amazon US

Amazon UK

“she generally gave herself good advice, though she very seldom followed it.”

-lewis carroll

flamin’ hot!

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not ‘my’ cheetos truck, but at least you can get a feel for it

driving home from school 

behind a giant truck load o’ cheetos

and i thought ‘oh, man..’

 couldn’t help but daydream

about what would happen 

if the back doors blew open

and my favorite flamin’ hot cheetos

spilled everywhere

and i had to take home a car load of bags

just to help clean up the mess

and it might make me very happy at the same time. 

who wouldn’t consider this, i ask you?

“i was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.”

-steven wright