teriyaki time (not for gambling)
the bag of loot my daughter gave me
with a friendly reminder
to pick up the sushi lunch
and not go to the casino or track
with the cash and the kids.
Quote from ‘Dumb & Dumber’:
LLOYD: “I’ll bet you 20 bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day!?”
HARRY: “No way.”
LLOYD: “I’ll give you 3 to 1 odds?”
LLOYD: “5 to 1?”
LLOYD: “10 to 1?”
HARRY: “You’re on.”
i get the feeling olive is in need of a bit more attention from me.
above, olive tries to add herself
into the frida self-portrait puzzle
as the 4th animal in the picture
a bird, a monkey, and now,
2 black cats instead of 1.
below, olive tries to add herself
into a cable news show
as the special guest co-host.
just a hunch.
“give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.”
it is highly likey that someone lost control of their remote control.
i can only imagine the story.
“why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?”
(not me or my shoes, but she wore them well and they were clearly essential)
way back in march
when quarantine suddenly began
for some reason
the first things i immediately ordered were
a cherry blossom doormat and a pair of glittery shoes
(both are always good to have on hand during a pandemic)
the mat arrived quickly and is happily living outside my door
the shoes however have not yet made their way to my door
as it was determined that they are ‘non-essential’
and therefore will be delivered sometime late in june
one woman’s essential is another’s folly
all a matter of perspective.
“the first essential, of course, is to know what you want.”
image credit: MGM, The Wizard of Oz
watched a live cooking lesson
with chef isabella
working from her home kitchen
making pasta primavera
she’s italian, passionate, spirited, direct
i learned some techniques
as well as
her recipe, hand gestures, italian numbers, and lots of improv skills
at one point in the lesson
part of her burner broke
she just cursed and moved to another
there was a live feed for the 500 of us who were watching
at one point, her husband, pazzo, who was helping
made his own funny comment to the viewers on the feed
pazzo to everyone:
“omg, lmao. $100 says that stove is gone when the quarantine is over…if not sooner!”
no wonder they are married
no wonder it was all so fun
no wonder i’m going to make pasta primavera
brilliant, every minute.
“i’m not sure I’d write a good cookbook, but I might make a good cooking show.”
both thoughtful and wonderful gifts
both ways to mark my days
both things i like
which to choose
it’s always good to get a second opinion about what day it is.
think victor hugo would be proud of my skills.
“concision in style, precision in thought, decision in life.”
“Do not aim at eyes or face. Do not use projectiles other than those supplied or recommended by the manufacturer. Do not fire at point blank range. Do not use these toys against any living things. Never point or shoot the projectiles at anyone or pets.”
” ADULT SUPERVISION REQUIRED.”
the warning on this frisbee
was clearly written by someone
who had grown up with a younger sibling.
“it could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.”
(not me, but a puppy who has my dream hair color and is comfortably wearing earbuds)
that aha moment
when after 62 years and some months
your ear buds once again fall out when walking
you have your glasses on
you look down before trying to put them back in
you notice that earbuds are marked ‘r’ and ‘l’ for right and left
that they are meant to go in the corresponding ears
you realize that you actually do have ear canals
and there is a way to ensure they will not continue to fall out every 3.5 minutes.
“the “aha” moment is a validating experience for your efforts
and at the same time changes your paradigm of the world in favor of a more accurate one.
Campbell simply says “it wipes out the ego.”
image credit: pinterest
World’s Largest Roll of Toilet Paper
10 feet high and 8.5 feet across.
weighs two tons.
contains a million square feet of squeeze-ably soft toilet paper.
will last me 1900 years.
according to my math
“i tend to stay with the panic. i embrace the panic.”
credits: ripley’s believe it or not museum, branson, missouri, usa