Tag Archives: humor

teriyaki time.

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teriyaki time (not for gambling)

the bag of loot my daughter gave me

with a friendly reminder

to pick up the sushi lunch

and not go to the casino or track

with the cash and the kids.

 

Quote from ‘Dumb & Dumber’:

LLOYD: “I’ll bet you 20 bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day!?”

HARRY: “No way.”

LLOYD: “I’ll give you 3 to 1 odds?”

HARRY: “Nope.”

LLOYD: “5 to 1?”

HARRY: “Nope.”

LLOYD: “10 to 1?”

HARRY: “You’re on.”

attention.

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i get the feeling olive is in need of a bit more attention from me.

above, olive tries to add herself

into the frida self-portrait puzzle

disguising herself

as the 4th animal in the picture

a bird, a monkey, and now,

2 black cats instead of 1.

below, olive tries to add herself

into a cable news show

disguising herself

as the special guest co-host.

just a hunch. 

 

“give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.”

-jim rohn

essential.

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(not me or my shoes, but she wore them well and they were clearly essential)

way back in march

when quarantine suddenly began

for some reason

the first things i immediately ordered were

a cherry blossom doormat and a pair of glittery shoes

(both are always good to have on hand during a pandemic)

the mat arrived quickly and is happily living outside my door

the shoes however have not yet made their way to my door

as it was determined that they are ‘non-essential’

and therefore will be delivered sometime late in june

one woman’s essential is another’s folly

all a matter of perspective.

“the first essential, of course, is to know what you want.”

Robert Collier

 

 

image credit: MGM, The Wizard of Oz

primavera.

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watched a live cooking lesson

with chef isabella

working from her home kitchen

making pasta primavera

she’s italian, passionate, spirited, direct

naturally hysterical

i learned some techniques

as well as

her recipe, hand gestures, italian numbers, and lots of improv skills

at one point in the lesson

part of her burner broke

she just cursed and moved to another

there was a live feed for the 500 of us who were watching

at one point, her husband, pazzo, who was helping

made his own funny comment to the viewers on the feed

pazzo to everyone:

“omg, lmao. $100 says that stove is gone when the quarantine is over…if not sooner!”

no wonder they are married

no wonder it was all so fun

no wonder i’m going to make pasta primavera

brilliant, every minute.

“i’m not sure I’d write a good cookbook, but I might make a good cooking show.”

-christopher walken

both.

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both thoughtful and wonderful gifts

both ways to mark my days

both things i like

whimsical animals

whimsical heroes

which to choose

easy decision

both. 

it’s always good to get a second opinion about what day it is. 

think victor hugo would be proud of my skills. 

“concision in style, precision in thought, decision in life.”     

-victor hugo

warning.

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“Do not  aim at eyes or face. Do not use projectiles other than those supplied or recommended by the manufacturer. Do not fire at point blank range. Do not use these toys against any living things. Never point or shoot the projectiles at anyone or pets.”

” ADULT SUPERVISION REQUIRED.”

the warning on this frisbee

was clearly written by someone

who had grown up with a younger sibling. 

“it could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.”

-ashleigh brilliant

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aha.

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(not me, but a puppy who has my dream hair color and is comfortably wearing earbuds)

that aha moment

when after 62 years and some months

your ear buds once again fall out when walking 

 you have your glasses on

you look down before trying to put them back in

 you notice that earbuds are marked ‘r’ and ‘l’ for right and left

that they are meant to go in the corresponding ears

you realize that you actually do have ear canals

and there is a way to ensure they will not continue to fall out every 3.5 minutes.

“the “aha” moment is a validating experience for your efforts

and at the same time changes your paradigm of the world in favor of a more accurate one.

Campbell simply says “it wipes out the ego.”

― Roumen Bezergianov, Character Education with Chess

 

 

image credit: pinterest

panic in the paper aisle.

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World’s Largest Roll of Toilet Paper

10 feet high and 8.5 feet across.

weighs two tons.

contains a million square feet of squeeze-ably soft toilet paper.
will last me 1900 years.
according to my math
i’m good.

“i tend to stay with the panic. i embrace the panic.”

-larry david

 

 

 

credits: ripley’s believe it or not museum, branson, missouri, usa

all twerk, no play.

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i’ve been wanting to take a dance class,

and

this offer popped up in my feed,

but

i’m not quite sure

this is the one for me….

 Cardio Twerking Fitness Classes at Studio88 Pole Fitness

(Up to 68% Off)

Why We Like It

Twerking fitness classes provide a dynamic cardio workout to tone the body and develop self-confidence

About This Deal

Students of all skills and ability levels join twerking fitness classes to receive an intense cardio workout, stay physically fit, and develop confidence.

RULES FOR TWERKING:

1) RECONSIDER

 

 

image credit: quickcountry.com