Tag Archives: humor

the lost and found is lost.

Standard

today

when the kinders found things out of place

they went to put them in our class lost and found

but discovered it was missing. 

the class then set out to find the lost and found

that was lost

until someone found it

and proudly put it back in place

then the mini wooden zebra, the blue rubber spider, and the green magna-tile

found a place to wait until we can find where they belong.

“first up, the lost and found has gone missing.

it itself, is lost.

so please try not to lose anything until we find it.”

-michael scott, the office 

 

Advertisements

your guest’s is as good as mine.

Standard

that moment

at the faculty party

when you get ready to leave

and go to pick up your coat

only to realize

that everyone has

a long, dark, down, winter coat

so you make a best guess choice.

 

“confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood.”

-henry miller

where hobbies, hijinks, and capers go bad = my childhood #8

Standard


as the youngest of 3 daughters

it took me a while to realize

that i was often being used

as the canary in the coal mine

sent in first to check

if the mud was sticky

if the place was scary

if it was wet

if there were spiders or alligators

if the others could squeeze in somewhere

if we were going to get in trouble

for whatever crazy scheme we thought up that day

i was curious and relished the adventure

excited to try things first

only to realize time and again

that it generally

had not

been a good idea in the first place.

whoever thinks they can fool me 267 times or so

has got another thing coming….

“a younger sister is someone to use as a guinea pig in trying sledges and experimental go-carts. someone to send on messages to mum. but someone who needs you – who comes to you with bumped heads, grazed knees, tales of persecution. someone who trusts you to defend her. someone who thinks you know the answers to almost everything.

~ pam brown

 

image credit: lets feast.feast-ed.org

 

open it.

Standard

apparently i have a bit of a reputation for opening my gifts early.

how bad is it when my sister thinks

i may get overexcited

and try to intercept a delivery at the post office?

i’m not worried,  she’ll never know…

p.s. if she happens to be reading this,

i’d just like to say for the record 

that it was already a little bit open when i found it.

not exactly.

Standard

imagine my surprise

just before undergoing

an out-patient medical test

listening to the waiver

read aloud to me

most of it

consisting of the usual

risks, percentages, side effects

 somewhere in the middle

i heard:

“medicine is not an exact science.”

best liability statement i have ever heard.

 

“i am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.”

-alexander the great

 

 

 

image credit: aspca.org