Tag Archives: humor

lwd. (laughing while driving.) is this a ticket-able offense?

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The Patron Saint of Second Chances

 a debut novel by Christine Simon

on my weekday commutes to school

i listen to quite a few books

and this

was the first one in a long time

that had me laughing out loud while driving

while i may have looked a bit crazy

 it was so worth it for the belly laughs

all from this book

set in a small italian village

filled with larger than life, passionate, eccentric characters

who you will absolutely fall in love with

a community who finds a way

where no path is clear

using the power of optimism, love, and fate

(along with a few pleas to obscure patron saints)

to overcome all obstacles.

you simply will not want this beautiful story to end.

 bella.

“my optimism wears heavy boots and is loud.”

-henry rollins

 

 

image credit/publisher: atria books

i am visited enough.

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 there’s a phrase in german (regional,) meaning “i am feeling visited enough”

that you can say when you want company to go, and this is brilliant.

it’s “ich fühle mich jetzt genug besucht.” 

use as needed.

 

==

credits: united humanists, warner brothers pictures photo

sure sign fall is just around the corner…

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 Guinness World Record: Man rides 38 miles in giant pumpkin

Duane Hansen has set a new Guinness World Record for riding 38 miles (61km) in a giant pumpkin.

He grew the 846lb (384kg) pumpkin in his garden with the aim to beat the 25.5 mile record, set in 2018.

Duane travelled down Missouri River and broke the record on his 60th birthday on August 27th.

“There are three things I’ve learned never to discuss with people:

religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.”

-Linus, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

credits: bbc news

 

strawberry shampoo does not taste as good as it smells.

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i had asked my daughter

to pick out a nice shampoo and conditioner for me

 was excited to get these

loved reading the labels

here are just some of the words/phrases on the packaging:

Resurrection 

For weak, brittle hair that needs an intervention!

Damage Level – 3

Micro shields boost strength and stamina

Great results may cause your hair’s ego to inflate to astronomical proportions.

what?! ‘damage level -3’?!

i love the descriptors

who could resist even one of these?

and also there is so much little writing on the label

 the shampoo and conditioner bottles look exactly the same

 once i’m in the shower i have no idea which is which

and i always forget to look before i get in

and i’m not getting out to get my glasses on

so i have a 50/50 chance of getting it right, a roll of the dice

and sometimes i lose

this is what i call an ‘x-treme’ hair care experience.

“sorry I can’t hear you over the volume of my hair.”

-author unknown

glitter not bitter.

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remove glitter with play dough!

i have been told, more than once, but less than a million times

that people in my presence

inexplicably end up with glitter

stuck to them or on their food or in unexpectedly odd places

or see traces of it stuck to my face or hair or feet

 while it is true that i do enjoy a great love

of the sparkling wonder that is glitter

i know there are those of you

who may need an easy way

to rid yourself, or your things, or your cake, or your abode

of all that remains

i have a fine gift for you

an easy and magical method to clean it up

you are welcome.

clearing up glitter can be tough. it turns out that there’s one easy way to get rid of those sparkles that spread everywhere. just grab some play dough and press it over the affected areas. that’s pretty much it.

“she who leaves a trail of glitter will never be forgotten.”

-some wise person

a look.

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the description:Ever wish you could just wrap yourself in a plush blanket scarf and pronounce it a look? Well, hello! This pale grey top is crafted with shawl-like wrap styling and features pleats at the shoulder and a crisscross bottom. But unlike your winter scarf, the lavishly soft piece has full-length sleeves.”

my reality:

i do love how comfortable and cozy

this ‘plush blanket scarf’ looks

yet

i wonder

if i can master

(the shawl, wrap, pleats, crisscross features)

 and put it on

without getting all tangled up in it

which would not be

a good look

or quite as comfortable.

“simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance.”

– coco chanel

alignment.

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Bread bag alignment chart

 

 i’m a hybrid of chaotic neutral and lawful evil, a razor’s edge of distinction between them.

what does this say about me? 

which are you closest to?

“the things that bring you the greatest joy are in alignment with your purpose.”

-jack canfield

 

source credit: flowingdata.com

different.

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 this building

recently sold

interior updating work has begun

someone has a whimsical creative streak

and one of these chairs is not like the others. 

 

“creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way.”
– edward de bon