what a long and wild ride
asked one of my daughters
to help me to figure out
why one of my streaming channels
was only displaying a black screen with red letters
had been doing it for a few weeks
no way to sign in or out no picture no sound
i’d followed all instructions/suggestions offered online
tech is not my superpower and likely my kryptonite
what ensued over the next hour plus
is hard to explain
we worked together
two phones, emails, calls, listening, explaining
responding to texts, laptop, user names, model number
entering codes, serial numbers, passwords,
which phone number, whose name
turn things off, turn things on, unplug, count
shut everything down, find a secret button
reset the wifi reset the wifi reset the wifi
go up down left right with my remote
with just the right number and pattern
of ups, downs, and overs
so many different dance steps and people involved
trying to solve this problem
our phone calls
required us to do battle with AI
to override it
insist again and again
to speak with a live human
‘you do not have to worry’
kept getting crazier and crazier
funnier and funnier
tried really hard not to laugh out loud
i started taking messy notes
quotes from the live humans
questions arose
still just black and red?
roku, tcl, netflix, sling?
what/who is causing the issue?
is it me? is it you?
still just black and red?
what is firmware?
there’s really a secret button?
where do i find that?
still just black and red?
yes, still just black and red
what is she asking us to do?
what do you see now?
did it work?
still just black and red?
is this the model number of serial number?
is it 8325 or S325?
what?!
comments
numbers
moments of disbelief
drew a system of arrows
to illustrate
what we were
asked to do with the remote
it struck me
as a possible absurd long game tech prank
in the end
they decided it was my tv
not them
who were to blame
began a whole new cycle
of instructions/possible solutions
final solution
they had to remotely
factory reset my entire tv
got my one channel back
still just black and red?
no, not still just black and red
i now have to reset
every app/channel on my tv
i’ve decided to
add one a day
back into the mix
after
thanking my daughter
for riding along
on this bumpy twisty road with me.
‘any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.’
*arthur c. clark
*Sir Arthur Charles Clarke ( 1917- 2008) was an English science fiction writer, inventor, undersea explorer and TV series host.He popularized space travel and wrote many books and magazine essays. In 1961, he received the Kalinga Prize, a Unesco award for popularizing science. Clarke’s science and science fiction writings earned him the nickname “Prophet of the Space Age.” His sci-fi writings also earned him a number of Hugo and Nebula awards, and he became one of the leading figures of the genre. Clarke co-wrote the screenplay for the 1968 film 2001: A Space Odyssey, regarded as one of the most influential films of all time.














