Category Archives: shopping

Oct28

fun is just a bite away.

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I’m curious why

there would be signs

distinguishing between

‘candy’ and kids candy?’

and then the added category of

‘candy bars.’

what if the sign just read ‘candy’ ?

I’ve never considered candy to be age-specific.

are toxic extreme sour patch garbage pail warheads

the gateway into a peppermint patty?

seems like it should be the other way around.

what’s the cutoff age to qualify to eat adult candy?

is it humiliating if you’re an adult and are seen eating the kid’s candy?

is it open season to eat the bars and all ages are welcome?

do you have to get someone to buy for you

if you don’t look the proper age?

do they see it as marketing to 3 different groups

each needing their own candy sign

all in one aisle?

who sorts them and decides which is suited for which?


I like to live on the edge and went with the rollos.

 

—

“taste the rainbow.”
― John Bowen

Sep24

playing chicken.

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as merely an observer of the event

I’d have to guess

that she when she arrived at the store

 perhaps with the intention

of buying a tea towel

she did not plan to leave

with a giant metal chicken

and may have even worried

that if she did not buy it today

someone else might come along

and find

they too could not live without it

one day longer.

life is funny that way.

 

—

‘buying involves decision-making.

it’s a performance activity, like sports or acting.’

-mark goulston

Jul29

go cart.

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after a long while

and a lot of swedish kaffe

i made it

 through 

the ikea rat maze

but not before gathering

as usual

all kinds of ‘domgjingos’

and other unexplained things along the way

along with the one item I set out to buy.

I was feeling victorious

when things took a turn.

 I left my cart at the end of an aisle

to get a closer look

at an exciting ‘grushlbonker’ of some sort

and my cart went missing.

I first thought that maybe I had misplaced it.

no luck.

I then looked for someone ahead of me

who may have mistakenly grabbed the wrong cart. 

still no luck. 

I watched for someone to suddenly do an about face

and hurriedly return with the wrong cart in hand

a bit embarrassed and mumbling an apology.

still no luck. 

maybe it was my giant blue used $1.49 bag

I had in there that was so appealing?

what could anyone else possibly

find any use for, or value

in the odd collection of things I’d snagged along the way?

I couldn’t even remember most of what I had in there

but now I felt I needed each of them for some reason

and was somehow missing them.

I decided to consider it a small gift to the universe

someone must have needed it all more than me.

I hadn’t paid for anything yet

so no loss

other than time and energy

and of course

that fancy blue bag

but most of all

I had no desire to rerun the maze

 so I grabbed a few new things

I didn’t know that I needed 

along the route to the register.

and threw in

a shiny new blue bag 

along with

a 6-pack of cinnamon rolls

just for good measure.

—

“why would anyone steal a shopping cart? it’s like stealing a two year old.”

-erma bombeck

Apr2

because i am a dog.

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An adorable Shiba Inu named Ken-kun in Hokkaido, Japan remarkably runs his own sweet potato stand. 

The watchful dog politely tends to whatever the customer needs, however, he is not able to accept payment. That situation is solved with a slot in which to put the money.

Customers need to have the exact amount (or be willing to leave the rest), as a sign on the front of the stand reads:

“Because I am a dog, I can’t give you change.”

—

“the dog lives for the day, the hour, even the moment.”

-robert falcon scott

 

 

 

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sources: Lori Dorn, laughing squid