a look back, it’s that time of year again, and some things never change –
how to clean your entire kitchen while trying to prepare a 1-minute healthy and guilt-free breakfast
1. since peaches are not quite in season yet, take a bag of frozen peaches out of freezer to defrost in fridge, go to sleep dreaming of healthy breakfast smoothie
2. take peaches out of fridge on the next day to chop up and create delicious and guilt-free smoothie
3. notice the fridge shelf below bag is a bit sticky
4. notice the bag has leaked (even though it’s unopened), while defrosting
5. take everything off of sticky shelf
6. notice peach juice has leaked to the back of the shelf and hardened into a solid gel
7. take out giant sticky shelf and place in sink
8. turn on hot water to melt off hardened peach juice gel
9. notice peach juice has dripped down into fridge drawers below where the shelf was
10. take out drawers
11. say a few things back to fridge that is now incessantly beeping due to door being ajar too long
12. feel my feet getting wet and turn back to sink
13. notice hot water running on shelf placed in sink is somehow flowing over it and onto counter and beyond
14. notice water has also flowed into junk drawer and cupboards below counter while on its way to the floor
15. slide on floor as i turn off water, pull out junk drawer, empty it, throw away things that are waterlogged
16. empty cupboards below, dry out everything, grab beach towels to clean up floor
17. turn back to fridge, still beeping, notice bottom of fridge has peach juice on it also, now that drawers have been removed
18. get more towels, empty entire fridge, wash and dry everything, replace shelves and drawers and contents, wash and dry floor
16. cut open peach bag, notice the peaches are now dried out due to lack of juice. put them in a bowl. add whipped cream. back to healthy eating plan tomorrow.
17. notice one ant milling around, sensing a dot of sticky peach nectar somewhere.