Jun27

dignity.

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i went shopping

for two very different gifts

the first 

 a bit of fancy lingerie for a soon to be bride to be

the second 

a book about animal art for my granddaughter’s soon to be birthday

all went well at the first shop, i found a beautiful gift

 at the second shop, i found the perfect book

but when i looked down

i noticed that the lingerie has spilled out of my bag

right onto the floor

smack dab in the center of the little indy bookstore

i casually picked it up without too much fuss

laughing to myself

but when i tried to put it back in the bag

i discovered that the bag had torn

which led to it falling out in the first place

when next trying to quickly stuff it in the bag

it kept getting worse

 falling to the ground a couple more times

so i finally 

had to scoop the whole mess up in my arms

and clutch it to my body

 carrying it to the register to buy the book

leaving one arm free to pay

no one said a word

but they did offer me a small chocolate and a smile as i left.

—

“i left the room with silent dignity, but caught my foot in the mat.”

-george grossman

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58 responses »

  2. You handled it well, I am sure. I once bought some ‘exotic’ lingerie as a gift for my first wife, and I received some very strange looks at the sales counter. The way the lady looked me up and down, I half-expected to be asked if I had chosen the correct size. I am still sure she thought I was buying it for myself. :)
    Best wishes, Pete.

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  11. The same thing happened to me twice within days from each other. The first one was a paper bag with drugstore products… before I could lift it up to place in the car, the bottom ripped open and everything spilled on the street.
    Then, at home, I put my veggies ‘waste’ in a plastic bag
    It fell right down on the floor… Knowing about my bad eyesight, I assumed that I had put it next to the opening. I scooped it all up ( oh the mess) and made sure to put it INSIDE the bag. It fell down again…. only then I realised that the bag had a long tear at the bottom which didn’t explain How this Happened but explained that for once, i] wasn’t my poor eyesight!
    I think you handled that beautifully 😍 I’m so proud of you 🤣

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  13. Beth, I’m still giggling 🤭! Dignity~perfect title! I pictured it all and it makes me smile. I remember opening a very “naughty” shower gift in front of my very very conservative first mother-in-law,…much like dropping lingerie and I couldn’t “hide” it as everyone wanted it passed around. I wouldn’t have remembered that had you not shared your dignity! Thanks for keeping it real, Beth!

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  23. There’s an episode of Father Ted in which a lot of priests are trapped in the lingerei (I don’t know how to spell that) section of a department store. It’s hilarious. If you find it, it would make you feel better.

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  28. My wife has a funny story about losing her balance and falling while on the golf driving range. Then, when she went to stand, she couldn’t get any traction and slipped again. Of course, this attracted those who were trying to help her up, leading to further embarrassment. We’ve all been there.😊

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