being a great lover of people, and the human story, and most all that is life, and even though i have always been a bit on the shy side, i have never thought of myself as an introvert. that is, until i heard susan cain speaking about her book on npr. in her book, ‘quiet’, she describes the differences between introverts and extroverts, and the challenges that come with being an introvert and living in a world that celebrates the latter.
what really hit home for me were some of the many examples she gave: feeling most comfortable with just a few close people rather than in large groups, making things happen behind the scenes rather than in front, in a quiet way, and most of all – the need to recharge oneself by spending some time in solitary pursuits after being a part of the goings-on of the world around us. in all of her research and all of her descriptions of both types of people, i found myself to clearly be an introvert.
as children, parents are told to help their child to overcome these traits, and children are told them need to speak up and be ‘like the others’ in this area. why not accept that some people are quiet and some are more vocal, and that both are okay and are needed in the world? to exhibit introverted traits, goes against most teachings about how to be ‘successful’ in the world, in pursuits such as business or politics, among many others, and it takes a bit of time for some to accept that things can be done in other ways.
introverts tend to be very adept at reading people and situations, as they most-often stand back and take it all in, listening to their intuition, and become very attuned to the small details of humanity. they spend time reflecting, pondering and considering things. they learn that huge things can be accomplished in small, quiet ways. i am always learning, about the world, about the people within it, and about myself, and will spend quiet time today reflecting upon all of this.
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I didn't have my glasses on.... 
I love that you’re highlighting this book. I “read” it on audio, while hiking, by myself! I’m not shy at all, just prefer to recharge alone. It’s a challenge as a teacher, but the purpose to teach overrides everything else, right?
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upstairs – i am not as shy as i used to be, but still dislike large parties, social small talk situations and can talk to anyone for hours one on one in a good conversation, but i definitely need quiet solitude to recharge and gain perspective and find myself yearning for that when i don’t have it. i think most of us find ourselves in the grey area somewhere in the middle, and find a way to adapt. like you, teaching supersedes it all, and i think it helps me to understand the children who communicate in quiet ways better )
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I’ve really enjoyed reading little bits you share. It’s clear you see the kids and life with lots of joy. Must be that quiet, intuitive kid inside. Thanks!~Cathy
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you have read me well, cathy. and you are very welcome )
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It’s funny because I relate to so many of your words in this post yet those who know me in this physical world would probably never consider me an introvert on the contrast if anything.
By as I child I certainly was a watcher.
B.
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benjamin – i am exactly the same. this is because introverts frequently learn to adapt to the world and what is expected of them, all while craving those treasured and much needed moments of solitude. introverts are not necessarily shy either, but find energy in quiet pursuits. people who know me or cross paths with me may be surprised to hear me call myself an introvert as well, but those who really know me will not be surprised at all.
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That I understand completely :-)
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This is perfect! And I so agree with how we (collective we) try to “change” those youngsters so they can be more extroverted..The world needs introverts too and I’m proud to be one and to be a teacher who can nurture the quiet. thoughtful, introspective children in my classroom.
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thanks tracy, and i feel the same –
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While I can relate to everything that was said, I disagree with the bit about all introverts being intuitive. Some introverts are just that: introverted, and that’s all there is to it.
I really did enjoy this post, and one of my favorite quotes by Susan Cain is, “Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured.” Amen!
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Wonderful reflection, Beth. In social situations, I find that when somebody I know to be an introvert decides to weigh in, I listen carefully.
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then you are a wise man, mark )
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Cool sign great photo
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)
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I, too, am an introvert as are my husband and children. As you say, introverts are often looked over as they do not vocalise loudly what they are and what they contribute to their community.
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yes, and it is funny i never really thought of myself that way. only in the last few years have i realized that i need to recharge with solitary pursuits or with a few people, rather than with large groups of people.
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I’ve got to read that book about introverts. People always think I’m conceited, when I keep to myself.
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oh yes, that is a common misconception. reading this book will help you to gain some perspective and it would be good for the extroverts to read it as well )
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I wrote a little piece about introversion back in August. When you are both shy and introverted, it really dominates your life, and when others, usually extroverts, don’t understand, it can be difficult. Fortunately I had parents who understood and supported me, and home was always the refuge I needed. I’m an introvert and I’m okay!
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you are lucky to have parents who understood this about you, and glad you are okay!
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Interesting.. thank you for sharing this. I find myself realizing as I’m older that I am also an introvert. I value deeper conversations and seeing a few of my friends or one at a time. I don’t mind a party or two every so often, but can’t live off of that energy. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on this. Connie
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happy you enjoyed it. i came to this understanding only recently as well, and it explains why i am drawn to certain situations where i can regain my energy, mostly in quiet solitary activities. extroverts tend to gain energy from groups of people, neither one is better than the other, and both are needed in the world, just have different needs.
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I agree. I also think the time for one to regain energy is different. Say, one introvert only needs a few hours of a day, while another would need a few days for themselves. It’s definitely interesting and fulfilling to know more about our own behaviors and what works and what doesn’t. Makes us better people, I think.
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Kinda sad that they (the evil powers of they) have tried to label introversion as a psychological malady in the past.
Most of the extroverts in the world really have no clue what it is like to need the things that introverts need.
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both kinds of people are needed and equally good, but hard sometimes for one group to understand the other.
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Just started reading this book a few days ago…i suppose introverts are attracted to it :)
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yes, and i’m sure it would be good for extroverts to read too, to lead to better understanding
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I am just discovering my introvertedness and feel so much better now.
It is quite interesting we both blogged about being introverts today, ksbeth :-)
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me too, and it is isn’t it?
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I wear my introversion on my sleeve. Those who know and don’t know me appreciate and are drawn to it. I nurture this quality in those I meet, always. Quiet and thoughtful is in many respects, more powerful and beautiful as they mirror the heart and soul. Nice post. :)
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i understand, and thank you, eric )
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Interesting…wouldn’t have tagged you as an introvert…
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i’ve learned to adapt very well in this world, love people, love life, embrace the joys and sadnesses, and yet – i also find that i need time spent in quiet pursuits as well, to recharge and regain my personal equilibrium. i love talking to anyone, stranger or old friend, love observing and connecting people, love the human story, i see the good, love to celebrate, though i don’t much enjoy small talk or large groups for any length of time.
not surprising that you had not see me as one, most would probably agree, and i only realized this about myself quite recently, i have pegged myself a bit of an extrovert over most of my adult years, but am always learning more as time goes by. extroverts gain their strength from groups of people, introverts from time away. both are needed and important to the world.
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wonderful color. thank you.
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This is a very interesting and factual post, Beth! I think it is so wonderful to give the introverts some extra attention in this world. After all, they usually are trying to hide from it! The quote by Mahatma Ghandi is a favorite of mine! Thanks for this special post!
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you are welcome, robin )
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As a self diagnosed attention whore, I appreciate you being an introvert. Unfortunately, I make it my business to bring people like that into my world
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well, jack chaser, i have to say i would have easily pegged you as a true ‘a.w.’ and keep on bringing it. my job is to take you to a parade and then take you to your quiet place when you are tired. world needs both of us.
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I don’t watch parades love. I lead them. But yes, the world needs both kinds of people for balance
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my job is to organize it and plan it and make sure you are in place in time to lead it. then you can happily lead it to your hearts content.
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My husband is an introvert and I’m an extrovert. It is funny because I get energy from being around people and it drains him. It seems we make a nice balance.
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probably works well for both of you )
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I am classified as an Introvert but I think it is due to some really conservative answers on the test. I do prefer to keep quiet at parties, unless it needs a lift. But I also enjoy creativity, cooking, writing, and being a sort of the class clown…really non-introvert qualities. So you are one too? I never would have guessed…
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i think most all of us find ourselves somewhere in the middle, with qualities of both. think about how you best recharge – in solitary pursuits or with groups of people? that will tell you which side you lean towards the most –
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This has me thinking Beth – all my life I regarded myself as an extrovert, yet reading what you have written so much applies to me…can one be half and half I wonder? :-) Very interesting post lovely. x
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see above jen – think we are all somewhere in the middle,with some of us leaning more one way than the other – thanks )
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lol I’m like the Tower Of Pisa at this point :-) x
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hahahahahaha
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Wow in that case let’s pop our jammies on and… Take it all in my sweet and dear friend. I think whether a person is introvert or extrovert the things that bind us all together is friendship. After all if one wishes to shout from the roof tops or simply whisper in my ear, it is all good to me :)
Have a wonderful evening Beth ;)
Andro xxxx
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thanks andro – nice words )
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i think you’re right, most all of us have qualities of each and are somewhere in the middle. think about when you are most happy or comfortable or how you recharge yourself, you will have your answer.
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” introverts tend to be very adept at reading people and situations, as they most-often stand back and take it all in, listening to their intuition, and become very attuned to the small details of humanity. they spend time reflecting, pondering and considering things. they learn that huge things can be accomplished in small, quiet ways.”
I am almost a textbook introvert. What you said above has me written all over it. I really connected with your whole post but the above just spoke to me. Great post.
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thank you danielle, and it just all made sense once i understood it and didn’t try to fight this about part of myself, embracing it instead. no need to change, just do what makes you comfortable and most content.
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I agree
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Introverts are great. MTM is one. This time of year, I think I’m one as well.
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ah, then you are a good balance, andra.
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I absolutely loved the book. Your blog captures the essence of introvert-ness nicely :)
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i loved the book too, and thank you )
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No one who knows me would label me an introvert. My successful career in sales and leading sales teams would also contradict this. And up until very recently I wouldn’t have labeled myself as an introvert either.
As I come to understand the real meaning and personality traits of introverts the more I self-identify as such.
I’ve read many excerpts from this book, and – based on your review – I will definitely be reading it in its entirety.
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not unusual nancy, we each function in our various roles as needed, and can do quite well with it, but we always come back to what comforts us and gives us strength. i’m glad you’ll be reading the rest of it, it may clear up a lot of the ambiguity for you )
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Beautifully expressed, Beth.
For myself, I love the way people tell us introverts that we are so good in front of an audience; and they wish they could be less nervous, like us. But they don’t realise what it takes for us to get up there.
Great article. I must look for the book.
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yes, you are right michael. it is always hard for people to understand people who are different than they are. thank you, and i hope you do read the book )
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I have heard about this book and really must get my hands on it. Thanks for drawing my attention to it.
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my pleasure and thanks for reading and following )
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insightful!
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This one hit home with me. My wife is an extrovert, which is a good thing because she drags me out in public instead of letting me become a recluse.
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i understand )
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This is one of those books that I have seen and put on my Christmas list, so if Santa comes through I will be able to experience the books many insights firsthand. I just hope it is under the tree! A great post …
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oh, i think you’ll enjoy it, no matter which side of the coin you fall on. it’s always good to gain an understanding of others who may be different. thanks for your comments ) best, beth
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Great blog post. I am definitely an introvert, and I was aware of Susan Cain’s book but I haven’t read it.
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ty michael, and i think you would enjoy it, i learned a lot about why i am drawn to the things that comfort me most )
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Reblogged this on It Happened On The Way To Disney and commented:
The Quiet Power of the Introvert- often underestimated, rarely understood!
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thank you for the reblog, carrie. i see you understand.
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Excellent post! I missed this interview. Must go scarf up the book, sounds most intriguing. Myriad cheers,
Autumn Jade
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thank you and i think you’ll like the book – u2) beth, thanks for reading and following, i look forward to reading more from you
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Reblogged this on Other Side of the Trees and commented:
Introverts, Extroverts … Encouragement for the former.
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thank you so much for the reblog and happiest of new years to you )
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Reblogged this on après-pensées.
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ty –
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Love this. And now I’m going to add Quite to my to ready list.
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thank you
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