many years ago
way back in first grade
i took thirty one cents
from hillman bailey III’s open desk
it was a matter of greed and opportunity
that spurred me on
i was really wanting candy from the store
sitting right in front of me
there appeared thirty one cents
almost dropping in my lap
i would repay hillman one day
when i got a job
at least this is all what i told myself
when i bought candy at the store
with my windfall
it didn’t taste as good as i expected
feeling lousy inside
i never told hillman
never made any attempt to make the situation right
but over the years i’ve thought about it
from time to time
today when paying cash at the grocery store
thirty one cents
dropped into the change slot
left it for the next person
maybe they had a child who wanted candy
silently said i was sorry
donated it back into the universe
on behalf of hillman bailey III
trying to make good on my word.
—
“guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
-erma bombeck
It is never too late to fix our karma. Time now to leave that baggage unpacked.
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yes!
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wow ! what a story: amazing how such a little theft stayed with you; and how relieved you were when you surrendered it half a lifetime later; it is never too late for recompense 🙂
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I immediately knew it was wrong and I’m a great fan of redemption, no matter how long it takes
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it’s a great story, Beth; I’ve copied it to my commonplace book, 2021 🙂
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thanks, John –
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Yup. Those small transgressions really haunt you. Guess we were raised right.
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They do
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Sorry—I haven’t quite got past the fact that not only was there someone named Hillman Bailey, but apparently they were so pleased with the name that they produced Hillman Bailey Jr, followed by Hillman Bailey III. I wonder if there is a similarity afflicted Hillman Bailey IV—possibly even with with little HB-V already in planning stages.
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I know! and funny but I always called him by his full name -it’s quite something to pass on
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Wonderful post
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thank you
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Cool story!!!!
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a bit of redemption for me -)
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I am an avid fan of Erma Bombeck’s quote and often state that I believe my mother adopted it for her own personal mantra. It is interesting that sometimes our smallest ‘sins’ weigh the most in our hearts!
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yes, me too. I think you’re right about the small sins and how we continue to carry them –
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I think many of us have done similar things in the past, but the guilt never goes away does it, not even after many years. Wellm now you have paid your debt and hopefully Karma will smile on you a little more as a result.
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hopefully )
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My husband is always snitching nickels and dimes from my purse. I don’t mind as it lightens the load.
But – I keep no paper money there anymore.
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Smart move
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I think you’ve repaid the Piper, Beth, if not exactly Hillman Bailey III, who most likely forgives you by now anyway.
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I think so too, and would love to cross paths with home someday
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We do grow up don’t we?
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it takes a while, but we do
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Yes, for some it takes longer! 🙂
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You never forget the best lessons.
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this is so true, they stay with you
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A person with conscience would feel the guilt and try to make it right just like you did.
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even as a young child, I felt it
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Children have more sense of right and wrong but as we grow older, it gets dulled
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sadly, you are right –
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👍🏼💜
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I understand that burden and I think it is a great thing to give it “back” on occasions. That way, you paid it back multiple times and maybe did bring joy to a child.
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hope so –
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💖
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You feel guilty because you have a big heart. It’s a burden to carry, but you’re trying to right your wrong.
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I really am –
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❤️
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Erma nailed that one.
I really hope Hillman Bailey, III is reading this. I would love to see his forgiveness. 🙂
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she sure did, and I would love that.
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today your “borrowing” would have been recorded on a camera for the world to see.
and as an aside, according to my calculations, 31 cents at 4 percent interest would be worth $2.20 fifty years later…
Hillman may be looking to collect the full amount…
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I’m working on it, and I knew you could figure it out. thanks for the low interest rate –
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I factored your good character into the interest rate 🙂
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To forgive oneself is a blessing…
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that it is
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😊
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I was just thinking, imagine if you ran into him today…
I think you have righted your karma, though.
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I’d love it and I hope so –
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I know so…
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This is the first time I’ve visited your blog, and lo and behold I find my name – Hillman – popping up! That aside, this is a great tale of how naughty things we did in the past, no matter how trivial they seemed at the time, can haunt us forever.
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ah, a lucky coincidence! you are so right
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Something so small as it appears but how it weighs in our heart.Thank you for sharing . It must have felt so good.
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my pleasure and it was a good feeling –
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yes. it does.
Sent from my iPad
>
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no way around it –
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A beautiful testimony of conscience Beth worth infinitesimally more than 31 cents. Thank you.
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my pleasure and thank you –
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Isn’t it amazing what we carry with us and, especially, how we deal with it?
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Yes, and what we let go of?
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Letting go is really hard sometimes. But it’s what we have to do.
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I love that you call him by his full name. Did he ever miss it? Did somebody else got blamed for it? Not that I want to add any more guilt to it.
Redemption at last!
Blessings! ♥♥
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He did look for it in his desk and I stayed silent, he never made a big deal of it and no one was blamed , but it made me feel even worse-
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❤ I have a few stories like that… I hope along the way I've evened things out somehow.
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we can always hope
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Ahh centimental! And that’s positive change. ❣⃛(❛ั◡˜๑)
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hahahaha
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(´∀`)♡
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Oh, Beth. Life is not easy.
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alas, it is not –
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I hope Hillman Bailey III’s name is a sign he came from money and did not miss the 31 cents.
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I hope so too, but I saw him look for it, more a sense of surprise to him that someone would do that rather than the amount I think –
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So true… When I was young, I used to take pumpkin seeds from those serve -yourself bins… That guilt stayed with for quite some time…
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ah!
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Oh, Beth, how moving this is. Wonderful action. As Brad observed, it’s never too late. Love this post. ❤️
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thanks, Jeff –
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Great story! The truth always sets us free. Along with amends. Well done.
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that It does –
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Great quote! Raised Catholic, guilt was drummed into is at an early age. Your anecdote reminded me of an incident at school. (What doesn’t remind me of school?) A woman (now an adult), who had attended the school years before, sent the school $3.00 along with a note saying that she had taken $1.00 from the school when she was a child. She was trying to teach her daughter a lesson about doing the right thing and correcting a past mistake. I think she sent extra because of inflation. We never forget those small lessons life teaches us—the same as you. Thanks for sharing, Beth.
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oh, that’s great, we’ve both had so many lessons that we’ve learned from school. apparently I’ve told my daughters and grandies this story a number of times…
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I think we all have stories like this. I remember when my oldest son was about 4, had brought home a toy from his cousin’s house. He liked it and wanted it, so he stuck it in his pocket. We eventually returned it, and told him he could always play with it when he was there. I don’t know that his cousin ever missed it, but had we not found it in his pants pocket, we may not have ever known he took it.
I wonder how many times something went missing at my house it was because a friend had to have something of mine….
Nice story and resolution.
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yes, I think most of us may have done something like this or known someone who has, and it’s a great life lesson
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