Aug21

collectives.

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Chesterfield Library, Chesterfield, Massachusetts

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COLLECTIVE NOUNS FOR LIBRARIANS
A group of librarians is called a cardigan.

A collection of empty chairs is called an author reading.

A collection of Eric Carle books covered in spit-up is called a storytime.

A group of exhausted mothers covered in spit-up is also called a storytime.

A cluster of teens reading quietly is called a mystery.

A pile of books gathering dust is called a hold shelf.

A handful of change is called a budget.

A stack of books on a nightstand is called a magical thinking.

A group of people who only remember “the cover was blue” is called a patron.

A plastic prize tub of stickers is called a summer reading program.

A collection of missing pieces is called a community jigsaw.

A group of retirees is called a Scrabble night.

A shelf of books in alphabetical order is called a miracle.

A group of shushing librarians is called a cliché.

A group of underfunded libraries is called a tragedy.

by Sally Miller

 

 

 

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Source: McSWEENEY’S

 

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75 responses »

  11. I love these! 🤣 And having a smile and low chuckle on my subway commute to work (at the library). I’ll have to share these with my colleagues. Thanks for the laugh, Beth!

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  14. As a kid, I lived in the OKC library (it had a/c, our house didn’t). And I always went home with the maximum allowable number of checked out books. Sadly, libraries here in greater Denver now seem more geared to providing electronic access and shelter for the homeless.

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  32. Lol… Scrabble Night.
    My mom had terminal brain cancer and spent her last days in a private room (all had private because the tumours press in different areas, and some people get violent) in a special wing, with other people who had brain cancer.

    They had activities, and one was Scrabble Night.
    The activities schedules were all posted on bulletin boards around the elevators. Of course, schedules never changed.

    For the 3 months I visited there, there was the big sign that read:
    “SCABBLE NIGHT”

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