Feb28

never assume.

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random nice people i’ve never met – ( photo courtesy of Wright Labs)

—

recently my friend roy, who is a fellow introvert, posted this:

‘as an INTROVERT, I can survive a lot..

but ‘let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves,’

is where I draw the line.’

I so get this. 

while I love people, love being around them, and frequently talk to strangers, I much prefer small groups and having real conversations with one or two people rather than big party small talk, get nervous when I know I’m going to be called on, or when public speaking. (if I’m one on one with someone, I can talk for hours, much to their dismay.) when in a big group setting I hang out for a while, find a way to slip out before long using my Irish goodbye technique, and head home to relax and recharge.

another friend who also gets this, a very accomplished woman, was once in this situation and when it was her turn to introduce herself and share one thing, she was so nervous that she blurted out the only thing that came to mind and said, ‘my name is T, and I play with the squirrels in our backyard.’ the room was silent.

—

‘never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak.’

-author unknown

 

 

 

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48 responses »

  1. When I was an EMT in London I became a union organiser, and that meant speaking to large gatherings of staff, and at union conferences. Overnight, I went from chatting to friends around a dinner table, to addressing meetings of up to 300 people, some of whom would be heckling me as I tried to make my points. I was also interviewed by London TV news reporters, knowing I would be seen and judged by hundreds of thousands of viewers. It was in many ways the best way to face that, the equivalent of being thrown in at the deep end to learn how to swim. Best wishes, Pete.

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  13. grew up lacking confidence in myself so hated being put on the spot. as an adult I found topics I was passionate about and started teaching. when something is meaningful you often feel more capable.

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  18. I relate to Geoff’s comments about icebreakers. I know they are supposed to make people feel more at ease, but I usually find them silly or uncomfortable. Maybe doing some inane exercise with strangers works for some, but I think it has the opposite effect. I still remember a workshop where the presenter asked us to find three people in the room whom we’d never met before and tell them what kind of car we were. Huh?

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  19. Me, too! Exactly!! My husband still loves to tell the story of when he first met me. We were asked to stand in front of a group (yikes) and tell our name and where we went to school. We were all geologists, so adults, but I couldn’t do it. Horrible. I’m not any better now!

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  20. Can you hear me LOL-ing…out loud? I’m gonna use that line…my name is Vicki and I play with the squirrels….as good an intro as any, I’d say!
    Thanks for the giggle, Beth. I sooooo understand this point – aware of how off-putting ice-breaker type things can be…
    xo! 😊💝😊

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  21. I am part introvert, part extrovert. I’m not always comfortable with large groups of people I don’t know, but then again, I can talk to one or two or three people at a time. I do like people and have a lot of good friends. I used to train new supervisors at work, sometimes larger groups, but was comfortable because I knew the subject matter. I have found, though, that my brother is the full introvert of the two of us. When I’m out in CO and we go hiking together, I will stop and talk to people and he keeps going, looking very uncomfortable.

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  22. I love that answer that T gave! Probably says more about her than any formal introduction could. I used to be this way too, sweating beads waiting for my turn to speak. But slowly got over it. I still like small groups rather than large. But I hate those social gatherings where people share what they’ve been up to lately–people who are much more social than me and go to much more interesting places. I’ve found I can keep from having to say much myself by asking them questions and getting them talking. I’m much more comfortable in that role.

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  23. lol – I end up saying MORE than anyone even cares to know, just out of sheer nerves wondering what they are all thinking… of course, once I am done yapping, I am convinced that what they ARE thinking is, “who is she, again?”

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