Tag Archives: humor

Aug21

collectives.

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Chesterfield Library, Chesterfield, Massachusetts

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COLLECTIVE NOUNS FOR LIBRARIANS
A group of librarians is called a cardigan.

A collection of empty chairs is called an author reading.

A collection of Eric Carle books covered in spit-up is called a storytime.

A group of exhausted mothers covered in spit-up is also called a storytime.

A cluster of teens reading quietly is called a mystery.

A pile of books gathering dust is called a hold shelf.

A handful of change is called a budget.

A stack of books on a nightstand is called a magical thinking.

A group of people who only remember “the cover was blue” is called a patron.

A plastic prize tub of stickers is called a summer reading program.

A collection of missing pieces is called a community jigsaw.

A group of retirees is called a Scrabble night.

A shelf of books in alphabetical order is called a miracle.

A group of shushing librarians is called a cliché.

A group of underfunded libraries is called a tragedy.

by Sally Miller

 

 

 

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Source: McSWEENEY’S

 

Aug11

lazy day.

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Two cans of sandwich kit on a red background

With 6 grams of fiber, 15 grams of protein, and 100% whole wheat, there’s a lot to love about this PB&J kit. For starters, it has a one-year shelf life, making it easy to store for whenever you need it. Best of all, it currently offers strawberry and grape flavors — everyone’s favorites! Perfect for hikers, campers, athletes, or families on the go, anyone can take advantage of the great flavor. (Very Lazy Food and a real thing)

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National Lazy Day on August 10th gave us permission to relax and kick back. There’s not much information regarding this annually celebrated holiday and no one felt  like doing any research. Actually, no one felt  like doing anything at all. Consequently, many were in hammocks with a couple of good books and glasses of lemonade and iced tea. Yes, it was Lazy Day. People choose to be lazy rather than tell much more about this day. And, it was yesterday, so once again, I’ve missed a holiday by a day, but was too lazy to look at the calendar in time.

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‘you can’t teach people to be lazy – they either have it, or they don’t.-

~ Dagwood Bumstead

Aug10

what’s her secret?

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on the rack at the used book store –  kind of scary 

what could it be?

any guesses?

—

‘well it’s not secret that the best thing about secrets is telling someone about your secret,

thereby adding another secret to your secret collection of secrets, secretly…’

-sponge bob squarepants

Jul22

aye.

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‘a week is a long time in politics.’

‘harold wilson

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source credit gary larson, the far side

Jul14

lamp.

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this family has really chosen well.

their new lamp can even walk itself out of the store. 

—

‘ i like change. a new lamp, a piece of art, can transform a room.’

-Madonna

 

Jul10

“we need new knights, but without swords.”- dejan stojanovic

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knight in blue steel on four wheels

fixing a lot 

now this is my kind of knight.

—

‘We are no longer the knights who sa,y Ni! We are now the knights who say, Ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!’

– Graham Chapman, Monty Python and the Holy Grail,

Jun29

breaks.

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with such a huge construction crew and a big job to get done
it’s lucky there’s a kitchen and a break area close by
it’s all about the work/break balance.
experts weigh in:

When It’s Almost Lunchtime

“I work hard all day. I like knowing that there’s going to be a break.

Most days I just sit and wait for the break.”

– Kevin Malone

When You Take an Extra Long Lunch/Coffee Run/Bathroom Break

“I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good”

– Michael Scott

-quotes from The Office, NBC TV

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beckley park, ann arbor, mi, usa – summer 2025

May27

cat burglar.

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a small sampling of some of the things that Pete the Cat

has taken into his lair and placed in his special box

sparkly pipe cleaners, a kitchen sponge, a sheep (now just a shaved body),

and a stuffed animal shaped like a peanut

but now

I have to ask:

‘hey, Pete, where’s my shoe?’

I woke up with one of my Birkenstocks

next to my bed

sometimes when I’m sitting down and wearing them

he takes one off of my foot

carries it around

so I have no idea where he found that one

 wonder where the other one is

I looked everyhwere

 finally

hours later

he casually walked into

the living room

carrying it and setting it down on the rug

no big deal

he must have another secret hiding place

where he keeps the rest of his stash

I wonder what else is missing?

‘my dear, i’m a cat. everything I see is mine.’

source: the red pyramid

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Below are a few funny comments from people on reddit about cats stealing things:

Does anyone else’s cat steal socks and carry them around the house? I found four

just yesterday and decided to try to sock shame her. I’m sure she was unfazed.

May24

hair show.

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when i sit in my stylist’s chair

she asks me what i’d like to have done

i’m pretty casual and relaxed about my hair

 looking to my right

I say

well, actually the exact opposite

of whatever is going on

with the woman’s head in the mirror next to us

and i’ll be happy, thanks.

—

‘happiness is meeting the right hairstylist.’

-author unknown

 

May7

handsy.

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  in a meeting with a group organizing a series of upcoming events

I was casually chatting with a friend sitting next to me

my hands were part of our conversation

as is my habit

(being half Italian after all)

 the leader called on me

thinking I had raised my hand

to volunteer for something

(no idea what it was)

so i quickly blurted out:

” sorry, I was talking and tend to talk with my hands,

but I don’t want to actually volunteer for that, am I in trouble?”

which got a good laugh, as they are all quite good-spirited

(sudden flashback to my student days, not sure why I blurted that out?)

he took mercy on me and let me off the hook but it was a bit awkward.

I pictured myself accidentally volunteering

to be sent to the moon or enlisted in the army or?

‘i often find myself in situations where it seems to me

like everyone else has read the instruction book.’

-jeff lindsay

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photo credit warner brothers, private benjamin 1980, goldie hawn