Aug31

a sister is both your mirror – and your opposite. – e. fishel

Posted on August 31, 2014 by beth

beth and pam

sisters

room mates

best friends

suddenly

one

was gone

way too early

and

one

was left behind

way too early

and

still

missing the other

on her birthday

—

in french you don’t really say, “i miss you.”

you say, “tu me manques,” which is closer to

“you are missing from me.”

i love that.

“you are missing from me.”

you are a part of me.

yes, that is it.

– author unknown

94 responses »

ramblingsfromamum on August 31, 2014 at 7:05 am said:

Oh Beth, giant hugs. You are missing from me, is such a beautiful expression. Happy Birthday Pam, your sister is a caring and admired woman. ❤ xx

LikeLiked by 2 people

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 7:39 am said:
  
  i love that expression too – thanks, jen
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply ↓
earthriderjudyberman on August 31, 2014 at 7:19 am said:

A beautiful expression of love, Beth. I lost my sister in 2001. Sad to say, we were not close at that time – her choice. Blessings to you. Happy Birthday to your sister, Pam. ❤

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 7:40 am said:
  
  thank you judy, and i’m sorry for the loss of your sister
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
  - earthriderjudyberman on August 31, 2014 at 8:38 am said:
    
    Me, too, Beth. We weren’t raised together. So, after we met when I was 25, our relationship was a roller coaster ride – some ups, some downs. And so it goes.
    
    LikeLike
    
    Reply ↓
    - ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 11:39 am said:
      
      that must have been very hard, judy –
      
      LikeLike
      
      Reply ↓
dianaroggenbuckebrown on August 31, 2014 at 7:23 am said:

I am so sorry for your loss Beth. I can only imagine how much you must miss her! My issuer is my best friend I would be lost without her. Sending you hugs xxx

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 7:40 am said:
  
  thank you, diana –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Paul on August 31, 2014 at 7:34 am said:

**Hugs** Happy Birthday Pam

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 7:41 am said:
  
  thank you, paul –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Peter Wells aka Countingducks on August 31, 2014 at 8:00 am said:

I love that French expression. How full of meaning and texture that is. Thank you for the touching verse, and the lovely introduction

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 8:32 am said:
  
  you are very welcome, peter
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Mark Myers on August 31, 2014 at 8:13 am said:

Hugs and love, Beth.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 8:33 am said:
  
  thank you so much, mark –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Chatter Master on August 31, 2014 at 8:20 am said:

Beth I’m sorry for your loss. The picture is sweetness times 2. I think ‘you are missing from me’ says it much more accurately than ‘I miss you’.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 8:33 am said:
  
  i so agree, and thank you c –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Let's CUT the Crap! on August 31, 2014 at 8:23 am said:

I’d never heard that translation. I really like it too. Happy Birthday Pam. ❤ ❤

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 8:34 am said:
  
  thank you – lctc
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
  - Let's CUT the Crap! on August 31, 2014 at 9:59 am said:
    
    You are welcome.
    Tess
    
    LikeLike
    
    Reply ↓
Austin on August 31, 2014 at 8:24 am said:

Today’s my sister’s birthday. Thanks for the reminded that I should probably call her… 🙂

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 8:34 am said:
  
  yes –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews) on August 31, 2014 at 8:45 am said:

Beautiful tribute

>

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 11:40 am said:
  
  thank you, roy –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
The Silver Voice on August 31, 2014 at 9:10 am said:

What a profoundly beautiful and tear-jerking post.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 11:41 am said:
  
  thank you, silver –
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply ↓
First Night Design on August 31, 2014 at 9:17 am said:

How incredibly sad to have lost her but what a beautiful birthday tribute. Take care. Sarah

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 11:41 am said:
  
  thank you, sarah –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
tric on August 31, 2014 at 10:04 am said:

So sorry for your loss Beth. In Irish we don’t say ‘Rest in peace’ we say ‘Codladh Sámh’. (Cula sawve), which literally means ‘sleep softly’.
Codladh Sámh Pam, and happy birthday.
xx

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 11:42 am said:
  
  thank you, tric and i really like that phrase –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
brickhousechick on August 31, 2014 at 11:17 am said:

Beautiful words. I feel as close to my sister. Sorry for your loss.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on August 31, 2014 at 11:43 am said:
  
  then you both are very lucky and thank you –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
sheketechad on August 31, 2014 at 11:46 am said:

Condolences on your loss but also how wonderful your memories. I never had a sister. My three daughters apparently are unaware of Fishels’ sentiments as of yet As young adults they have very push-me pull-me relationships still.

And that is one of my all time favorite sayings in French. (hugs) I hope your day is lighter today.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:46 pm said:
  
  thank you shek, and i have 3 daughters too, so i know exactly what you mean –
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply ↓
Michael Lane on August 31, 2014 at 1:25 pm said:

Beautiful honoring of your sister, and such a lovely photo 🙂

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:47 pm said:
  
  thank you, michael –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
LAMarcom on August 31, 2014 at 1:28 pm said:

I need to phone my sister. It has been far too long since I have told her I love her.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:47 pm said:
  
  yes, do that lance –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Norma on August 31, 2014 at 3:23 pm said:

Such true words. It is such a beautiful relationship to have. I used to fight a lot with my sister but now we don’t anymore.
Loved the french perspective of “i miss you”.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:48 pm said:
  
  thanks norma, and i agree, the french have it on this one –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Jade Reyner on August 31, 2014 at 3:46 pm said:

Aw Beth, this is so sad. It really moved me. I love the photograph and I am sorry for your heartache.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:48 pm said:
  
  thank you, jade –
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply ↓
kerbey on August 31, 2014 at 3:55 pm said:

Great quote and explanation. I’m sorry that little towheaded girl is missing her sister, or missing from her.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:49 pm said:
  
  thank you, kerbey –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Elyse on August 31, 2014 at 4:21 pm said:

“You are missing from me” is perfect, Beth. Both of my sisters are missing from me — 14 years ago and 5 years ago. These milestones are hard.

So sorry that you are in this club.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:50 pm said:
  
  thank you elyse, and i’m sorry for those who are missing from you –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
hitandrun1964 on August 31, 2014 at 4:37 pm said:

😦

LikeLike

Reply ↓
Deborah Drucker on August 31, 2014 at 5:42 pm said:

Wonderful to have a sister that you were close to but very hard to lose her. You look like you were close in age.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:51 pm said:
  
  thank you, deb. and yes, we were born 15 months apart –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
writingwingsforyou on August 31, 2014 at 7:39 pm said:

Thanks for sharing that French saying. I think it describes more of what I’m missing when I’m missing someone close to me. Happy birthday Pam and hugs to you sweet Beth.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:52 pm said:
  
  thank you –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Wendy on August 31, 2014 at 8:27 pm said:

Ouch. To love someone, lose them, miss them. Ouch. Great post.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:53 pm said:
  
  thank you wendy –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
suburbansatsangs on August 31, 2014 at 9:05 pm said:

What a beautiful and bittersweet photo and poem. Anniversaries are always hard — so sorry.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:54 pm said:
  
  yes, they can be – thank you ss
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
murphysmission on September 1, 2014 at 12:35 am said:

so true…and what a cute picture that is also!

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:54 pm said:
  
  thanks susie –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Gray Dawster on September 1, 2014 at 4:23 am said:

How lovely my sweet friend…

Andro xx

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:55 pm said:
  
  thank you, andro –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
  - Gray Dawster on September 5, 2014 at 7:18 am said:
    
    You’re welcome Beth,
    have a lovely Friday and
    weekend 🙂
    
    Andro xx
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    
    Reply ↓
laurie27wsmith on September 1, 2014 at 4:36 am said:

That’s so nice. 🙂

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:55 pm said:
  
  )
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Lone Grey Squirrel on September 1, 2014 at 5:19 am said:

Happy Birthday Pam.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:56 pm said:
  
  thanks lgs –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
SueM on September 1, 2014 at 7:17 am said:

What a beautiful tribute to your sister. ❤

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:57 pm said:
  
  thank you, sue –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
markbialczak on September 1, 2014 at 9:08 am said:

You found the right expression, my friend. Sad and loving and ringing.

Love to you for that missing part, the day she came into the world for you. Sorry you lost that integral element of your life, Beth.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply ↓
- reocochran on September 1, 2014 at 9:27 am said:
  
  This is simply a combination of hugs and happy birthday, to you. So sorry that part of you is missing, Pam looks like a wonderful sister and best friend. Do you feel her presence in parts of your life and thoughts?
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
  - reocochran on September 1, 2014 at 9:29 am said:
    
    Beth, this should include your name, because I meant this for you, my friend, in my birthday greetings and also sadness, in your missing a part of you…
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    
    Reply ↓
  - ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:58 pm said:
    
    thank you robin, and i really do, in many ways –
    
    LikeLike
    
    Reply ↓
- reocochran on September 1, 2014 at 9:28 am said:
  
  What you wrote was perfect, Mark!I love the way you show how you care, man!
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply ↓
  - markbialczak on September 1, 2014 at 9:29 am said:
    
    I do care, Robin. Thanks for seeing it.
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    
    Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 1, 2014 at 12:57 pm said:
  
  thank you so very much, mark. it means a lot –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
authormbeyer on September 2, 2014 at 7:54 pm said:

I can always count on my own sister to know exactly what is wrong with me, or what my mistake was. Darnedest thing is, she is always right about it too.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 2, 2014 at 8:16 pm said:
  
  sisters have amazing connections on many levels, and you are right about them being right too –
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply ↓
  - authormbeyer on September 2, 2014 at 8:22 pm said:
    
    Something tells me you are somebody’s sister too.
    
    LikeLike
    
    Reply ↓
Charron's Chatter on September 3, 2014 at 11:30 am said:

tears in my eyes–my perception of you expanding–my empathy for your loss entirely visceral. Goosebumped sadness. (( )) From one to another such…and also: yes. You are missing from me. Exactly.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 3, 2014 at 1:57 pm said:
  
  thank you so much.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
alexraphael on September 3, 2014 at 7:17 pm said:

A lovely tribute.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 3, 2014 at 7:35 pm said:
  
  thank you, alex –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
  - alexraphael on September 3, 2014 at 7:37 pm said:
    
    I wasn’t sure what else to say. I can’t begin to imagine the pain.
    
    LikeLike
    
    Reply ↓
Brenda Davis Harsham on September 4, 2014 at 10:24 pm said:

My sister is missing from me, too. A Gallic shrug. Resignation is the only solace. A poor solace.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 5, 2014 at 4:45 am said:
  
  i’m sorry brenda. and yes –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
  - Brenda Davis Harsham on September 5, 2014 at 10:59 am said:
    
    Hugs. I’m sure she’s watching over you. I always dedicate all my yoga practice to my sister. I imagine we would have taken yoga together. If we could have. 🙂
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    
    Reply ↓
ksbeth on September 5, 2014 at 12:58 pm said:

that is wonderful brenda and i’m sure you would have –

LikeLike

Reply ↓
Morguie on September 11, 2014 at 5:40 am said:

Awe, so sorry.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 11, 2014 at 7:54 am said:
  
  thank you, m –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Other Side of the Trees on September 16, 2014 at 9:01 pm said:

I missed this post … But thankful that I caught this. I enjoyed reading the replies of your readers. I have mentioned to you before, that I appreciate the theme of story you bring to the blog and to your readers. This, again, is story … powerful story … I continue to hope that loss can be redemptive, but even so, the pain of missing your friend and your sister doesn’t really fade, I’m guessing.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 16, 2014 at 9:34 pm said:
  
  thank you so much for your very kind words. and you are right, it always is there, somewhere on the inside –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Sincerely Moonstruck on September 21, 2014 at 12:56 pm said:

to me manques……… That’s a lovely to say one is missed. Great post.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 21, 2014 at 3:59 pm said:
  
  thank you –
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
  - Sincerely Moonstruck on September 21, 2014 at 4:03 pm said:
    
    vous êtes les bienvenus et merci
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    
    Reply ↓
Carl D'Agostino on September 22, 2014 at 6:39 am said:

No brothers or sisters for me and parents moved away from extended family was I was 5. I had to create my own little private world to survive. Then I enjoyed it as no one could invade it or even visit it and that seemed empowering. It was mine and its contents could not be taken and certainly designed to my own liking unlike our oppression in the real world. Even now I can shift into alternative realities. The degree of isolation that comes with not having siblings actually has brought me to a far more expanded universe. Probably lead to sophisticated levels of creativity in adulthood.

LikeLiked by 1 person

Reply ↓
- ksbeth on September 22, 2014 at 11:16 am said:
  
  carl, i think it does lend itself to creating your own imaginative world, and that’s not a bad thing )
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
beth on August 31, 2020 at 5:04 am said:

Reblogged this on I didn't have my glasses on…. and commented:

and here it is, your birthday again –

LikeLike

Reply ↓

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Enter your comment here...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Email (Address never made public)

Name

Website

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change )

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change )

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: