I’m not gonna’ lie, i’m pretty good with toast.


“What is the right way to cut a piece of toast?”Diagonally, insists the narrator in NIcholson Baker’s novel “The Mezzanine.” It creates a “triangularly cut slice” which in turn yields “an ideal first bit.” With rectangular toast, you must “angle the shape into your mouth, as you angle a big dresser through a hall doorway.” (Dwight Garner, NYT book critic’s new essay on the literature of breakfast food.)

โ€œi have trouble with toast. toast is very difficult.

you have to watch it all the time or it burns up.โ€

-julia child, master chef (1912-2004)


credits: New York Times, Dwight Garner, Nicholson Baker,”The Mezzanine”, google images

62 responses »

  1. I have toast with peanut butter nearly everyday. It takes me to my happy place.

    In Singapore, something known as kaya toast is very popular (and very tasty). Somehow, the cafe we got our kaya toast from was able to slice a regular size piece of toast in half, and by half, I mean cutting the toast in half so that it would create two still whole, but skinny slices of toast. They would then cut it diagonally. It would be like taking a loaf of bread that has been cut into 12 normal slices, and then cutting each slice again so that you now have 24 slices…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I like the metaphor about toast is similar to the adult stage in the life cycle of bread. That’s brilliant! My method of eating toast is to eat the crust first and save the most delightful part for last. I like my delayed gratification. ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ha! My kids have their toast cut different ways depending on the use for the toast. It’s funny when someone else makes them toast, as the whole explanation for how the toast should be cut comes up. Your post reminded me of this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The Chef gets an order in for one Hamburger.
    He puts the patty on the grill, seasons it lightly and puts the Bun under the Broiler to toast. He crosses his arms and watches the patty cook, waiting to turn it over.
    Smoke begins to pour from under the Broiler.
    โ€œOh crapโ€ he mutters to himself and removes the bun, in flames, from the Broiler.
    He replaces the burned bun with a new one in the Broiler and turns his attention back to the Patty, which is now ready to turn.
    He gently turns the patty, and again lightly seasons to perfection.
    He crosses his arms and contemplates the beauty of a perfectly cooked hamburger patty.
    โ€˜Oh crapโ€ he mutters as smoke pours again from the Broilerโ€ฆ.
    He replaces the Bun; this will not happen again.
    He crosses his arms and watches the bun slowly turn to golden brown.
    He smiles to himself satisfied, having learned his lesson, when suddenly flames erupt from the grill.
    โ€˜Oh crap!โ€
    The Patty is on fire!

    Liked by 1 person

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