Aug30

hair-apy.

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r

(not me, or my hair stylist, but similar to our interaction)

—

while getting my hair cut

i  had a great conversation

with my stylist

who is 20 something-ish

 while i am at least 20 x 3-ish

we shared our stories

she has not had an easy life

one of four children

raised by a single mother

who always worked hard to provide for them

my stylist also worked hard

got her social work degree

wants to go to grad school

before she practices her craft

lives with her loving and supportive boyfriend

yet understands

because of how she grew up

that you always need

to be able to provide for yourself

no matter what

 she learned to do hair as a back-up skill

to use as needed

but her real gift

was her kindness and the way she interacted

as a listener, without judgment

 in telling her own story

with understanding and honesty

obvious compassion

life wisdom beyond her age

lots of laughter, a few tears, and happy smiles later

i had the benefit of a great haircut and therapy at the same time

she will be brilliant in what she does after grad school

and may not realize that she is already a full practitioner.

 

—

“the kindest people do not just exist —

they choose to soften where circumstance has tried to harden them,

they choose to believe in goodness,

because they have seen firsthand why compassion is so necessary.”

– bianc sparacino

 

—

image credit: google images

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77 responses »

  1. When I decided I no longer had enough hair left to pay to get it cut, I bought a pair of clippers and have done it myself since. But I really missed my London barber, Mustapha from Cyprus. I had been going to his barber shop for 40 years, and we had grown old together. So while I still lived in London, I used to call in to see him, sit and have a coffee with him, and catch up on our news. He must be in his 80s now, and I like to think he is still alive and cutting hair. Or at least sitting in his shop drinking coffee.
    Best wishes, Pete.

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    • Pete, I have a funny story in ‚your direction‘ too. HH went to the same barbershop when we lived in the UK. After we left England in 2005, HH tried to go to him every time we visited the region and for years it was always great fun to renew the contact. We were there last in 2018 and the guy said he was now selling his shop, as he looked after his ill wife and had made enough money to allow him to go to ‚pension‘. The incredible thing was that he had variable costs. The price for a haircut stayed the same since you went the 1st time – and he had nearly everybody‘s ‚details‘ in his head! HH ‚allowed‘ him to ask the regular cost on each visit, but G. didn‘t really want to accept. He still knew,. years and years later, what HH worked, that ‚his wife is hot‘ – ha ha (for years we only waved at each other when I passed in front of his shop!), and it was always a great ‚so how have you been‘….. wonderful memories – of no value to some, of great value to us!

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  3. this is a wonderful post, beth. i had many hairstylists in my life and when we moved here from abroad, i went to a guy who did a friend‘s hair beautifully. a humble man, young, with 2 children, he does an excellent job, and has an interest in pppl. not only that, he has a great coffee machine and although i told him right from the beginning that he could close business with only customers like me (3 times/yr….) he still is very kind and we have great talks. he is one of my many ‚gifts from heaven‘ – ‚just‘ a person you know where you are with him, a joy to know. tell your stylist i wish her well – the world needs more ppl like her.

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  5. So true. In Illinois, hairstylists need to get mandated training for social work. They have become mandated reporters. Great post, we are loyal to the people who take care of us. And feel comfortable talking to them while they make us look whole lot better. Have a great weekend.

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  11. “I had the benefit of a great haircut and therapy at the same time.” ….. I’m not really the entrepreneurial type Beth, but I think you’re onto the next Shark Tank big idea! Your slogan can be: “Come to our salon, spill your guts and get a great cut too!” What do ya think? Ha ha, oh ignore me, sounds like you had a great time. That’s awesome!!!!

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  12. First, love the photo and second, I love the she doesn’t let her background impede her future. Never stop striving to better yourself and don’t let anyone or anything hold you back…giving in to that is the same as giving up…

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  13. My stylist, like all before her, is a great listener and conversationalist. She always asks about my family and pets by name and I babble on and on without realizing it. I felt really bad the last time for having forgotten to ask about her baby daughter.

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  14. This is wonderful, Beth. It’s funny because I got my hair cut on Tuesday. Just before my appointment, my sister called me (we laughed because she went the day before). As we chatted, she said, I don’t think we have Françoise (said hairdresser) for long… she’s 70, has had cancer twice and it has come back and there is nothing they can do but mostly because her husband is not doing well. She’s been working a couple of days per week She’s about to hang up her scissors… Sigh.

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  15. A great hair stylist is a good listener, a wonderful storyteller, part therapist, and has a great sense of humor. I take pride in going to three different stylists for what little hair I have left. They are all former students, so it’s my excuse to listen to what’s going on in their lives. When I attended a wedding last weekend, I talked to another who just graduated from beauty school. Can I have four stylists? 🤣

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  19. You triggered my favorite barbershop memory. I took my oldest son for his first barbershop haircut when he was 3 or 4 years old. I had been there a few times myself but nobody knew my name. The barber was peppering my son with questions and one of his responses was, “I can spell my dad’s name.” I found it hard to believe that he was going to spell “Geoff.” So I laughed along with the barber and the customers when he spelled D-A-D.

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  23. So funny! I have a similar relationship with my hair stylist. She is young, tattooed, and only wears black. I am 67, have grey hair, and dress like I did in the seventies. We get along great!

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  26. Do you want your haircut with or without therapy? ha ha. Anyway what a great post about the random interactions we have with everyday people and how they leave such great impressions on us. We learn so much from each other. Chris

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