1. nutcase
2. swingdoctor
3. muscularhunk
4. iwilldoyou
5.playtimehowie
6. thepriest
7. pipinghot
8. gashexplorer
9. cokecowboy
10. mikedong
Jan27
Category Archives: Life
Jan21
caution! – running on (almost) empty
driving into work with my carpool, we fell into our happy and familiar pattern of chatting about 642 subjects, all of them connected in some obscure way, laughing, drinking coffee, and for some reason, forgetting, (more than we normally do) what we were talking about due to the onset of a case of extreme short term memory loss, – oh, but of course, it suddenly hit me – we must be running low on carbs! we were clearly calling on our reserve tanks, with carb levels teetering dangerously on the edge of empty.
someone really should invent a gauge that would be even more important than the one that currently exists to show where you stand with your gasoline level – to best support the greater good, and in order to maintain a level of personal and world peace, and to get things done, it is imperative to create a low-carb gauge asap! perhaps if cinnamon raisin bagels and pringles and ranch flavored doritos had been invented in time, many wars and crazy decisions would have never happened and many very important things never forgotten.
Jan13
why she’s still single too (as explained by her 8 year old)
overheard while working at drama camp, conversation between two 8 year olds sitting next to me:
‘my mom just got dumped.’ his friend asked, ‘what is dumped?’ He said, “broken up with. it’s okay, he was younger and a personal trainer. she had 3 men though.” i didn’t know exactly what to say so the best i could come up with was, ‘maybe he’s not the right man.’ they both just looked at me without responding and began talking about who was going to play peter pan.
Jan6
balance once again restored to the universe
as we sat having coffee and catching up on our lives, my friend shared where she had just been. as she was pulling out of the local resale furniture store, her car filled with all kinds of wonderful new treasures for her home, she got a voicemail. it was from her husband who said, ‘i see you.’ it seems he was also at the same store, though as she was leaving, he was just arriving, there to drop off a carload of wonderful old treasures from their home.
‘Aboard ship there’s a danger in having too much of anything for then one is bound to have too little of something else. ‘ – Mutiny on the Bounty
Jan3
2012 in review
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,200 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.
Jan1
nerd play
happy new year to everyone who spends their life trying to somehow make the world a better place, including those engaged in the mysterious and exciting world of genetics.
one may assume that these bright souls are born with the gift of extraordinary brilliance and purpose, all at the expense of some other area of their humanity, such as a sense of humor. in reality, this could not be further from the truth. while their comedic approach to life may not be easily apparent, all it takes is a glance at the mark they leave on their work to see their strong sense of whimsy.
after listening to a recent npr interview with one such geneticist/scientist/self-proclaimed ‘nerd’ and hearing him discuss names assigned to individual genes and their mutations, it’s clear this group has found a way to do their research, stretch their intelligent ironic imaginations, and leave their legacies – all while embracing a sense of play in its truest form.
A RANDOM SAMPLING OF SOME OF MY FAVORITES:
radical fringe
lunatic
cheap date
maniac
one-eyed pinhead
INDY – I’m Not Dead Yet (makes mutant flies live twice as long – inspired by Monty Python’s ‘Holy Grail’
i thank you for this on so many levels.
Dec29
the rev bbq gets his grill on
at the beginning of what promises to be a long, cold winter, i smiled as i thought back to the warm summer days of not so long ago, and the memory of my son in law, carman smith, (also affectionately renamed the rev bbq by me), as he won the local rib grill-off.
he was humbled and elated when he took the title and what better prize than a new grill? while he mans the grill, he’s always ready with a few kind words and some homespun advice. as carman says, ‘it’s the rub, not the sauce,‘ and i have to believe him. i’d say it’s an all around winning combo, and obviously others agree with me. as a mother in law, i’m ready and willing to taste it all, as he masters his grill art and keeps dispensing his words. next up – brisket! bring it rev bbq.
Dec26
close shave for a little man
Just a few days before our Winter break, I made a quick stop at the store on my way home from school. To celebrate the season with my class, I bought all the colorful fixings needed to make gingerbread man cookies: cookie mix, cookie cutters, red hots, candies, and frostings. As I left the store and hurried across the busy parking lot to my car, I heard people behind me yelling out. I turned to see what all the excitement was. Apparently, my bag was so full that one of the gingerbread man cookie cutters had fallen out and was lying in the driveway, right in the path of a heavy truck. The group on the sidewalk were yelling at me to go back, and to the approaching driver to stop, before he ran over the gingerbread man.
In response to their waving arms and jumping and loud voices, the truck slowed down and swerved just in time, missing it by a few inches. I smiled at the driver and retrieved my wayward, but intact, cookie cutter. After witnessing the close call and seeing the happy result, the crowd broke into spontaneous applause as I picked him up and I thanked them for caring. Walking back to my car, I was reminded once again, of the inherent kindness that people carry around with them. This random crowd of people had taken a moment from their busy lives and long days to jump in and join together in an impromptu rally save this cookie cutter, as if it were an innocent kitten in harm’s way. These little gestures in life clearly speak the loudest.
At school the next day, before making our cookies, I read the Gingerbread Man story to my class and told them about the near-miss experience that had occurred just the night before. Upon hearing this, one bright child offered an alternate explanation for how the the close call really came to be. He wisely suggested that of course it hadn’t fallen out of my bag, but probably had tried to run away, just like in the book, and almost got run over in the process. What a much more exciting and wonderful explanation this was!
Dec1
standing still while waiting……
as i see and hear never ending tales of agony, mayhem, and extremely bad behavior – all associated with the infamous ‘black friday,’ i am always surprised, for i see it from a totally different perspective. each year, i look forward to the phenomenon, have a wonderful time in the process, and this year was certainly no exception.
filled with lots of turkey and family thanksgiving cheer, i flew into a store in the wee hours of friday morning and quickly found what i was looking for – a prized pizza stone, heavy enough for my son-in-law to put on his grill. somehow it seemed much too easy. with this early and painless success, i looked for the checkout line and walked to what i thought was the end, only to find it had taken on a life of its own, and actually snaked all the way around the interior perimeter of the store. now this felt more like it! let the adventure begin –
in front of me, was a woman, with her mother, discussing the merits of waiting in line vs. abandoning the idea and moving on, hoping for less wait time somewhere else. as we were stuck in close proximity, after just a short time together, we banded together suggesting that mom could perhaps walk around the store, looking for one last thing, while her daughter held their place in line. early crisis averted, we continued to stand together. as more time passed, i also noticed the amazing strategy of the woman behind me. she had a store cart without much in it, yet as we continued to stand, she came and went, every 3 minutes, and over time, found everything on her her entire christmas shopping list, all while we stood in line, still waiting. at this point i also had to laugh at myself for choosing, of all things, a heavy ‘millstone’ to stand in line with for such an extended period of time.
as still more time passed, people shared pictures of children on their phones, along with coupons and stories and tips for other ‘deals’ at other locations, people made coffee runs for new friends in line, and phone calls were made to reassure those waiting in other places.
as yet even more time passed, and in the perfect gesture of what it must have felt like to be a child waiting so long, i noticed set of legs, just laying on the floor, sticking out into the aisle, from underneath a clothing rack ahead. my new friend in front of me let me borrow her phone to snap a shot of this, as i loved the visual. this child had clearly reached his limit and was expressing it the only way he knew how.
when he emerged, he asked me 2 questions:
- how many millimeters are in 1 mile?
- why have i been waiting here for 1 trillion years?
i smiled and told him i had no idea, but knew he was at the point where time and space must have lost all meaning and he was beyond tired of waiting.
Perhaps there is no agony worse than the tedium I experienced waiting for something to happen.
The important thing about learning to wait, I feel sure, is to know what you are waiting for.
Chinese practitioners have understood the concept of standing still/waiting for many years: We’re so used to the idea of ‘doing’ to be effective that standing still and doing nothing sounds rather strange. But, according to zhan zhuang qigong therapists, simply ‘stand like a tree’ qigong is that the less physical movement you make, the easier it is for your chi (or life force) to circulate freely round your body.
‘Standing meditation is one of the fundamental training methods of internal Chinese martial arts,’ says Yang Yang, founder of the Center For Taiji And Qigong Studies in the US and author of Taijiquan: The Art Of Nurturing, The Science Of Power. ‘Practitioners hold standing postures to cultivate mental and physical relaxation, tranquillity, awareness and power. The Chinese call it zhan zhuang or standing pole, while the t’ai chi form is called moving standing pole.’
There are various theories about its origins, but one of the earliest descriptions of standing pole comes from a Chinese medical textbook written sometime around 403 to 200BC. ‘One theory is that it is one of the oldest exercises in human history,’ says Yang. ‘Prehistoric man had to stand perfectly still for long periods when hunting. It is an interesting thought. I have had deer, coyotes, birds and foxes pass close to me while I have been standing.’ ‘Standing meditation flies in the face of most of our ideas of how we think exercise ought to be,’ says Sam Moor, who teaches t’ai chi in Brighton and Chichester. ’According to t’ai chi practitioners, standing meditation teaches the body to use muscles in what he calls a ‘postural’ way (to hold a posture), rather than a ‘phasic’ way (when a muscle is used for movement). It may be hard to believe that all this could come from simply standing, but, in the words of the ancient Chinese, ‘If you do not practice stillness, you will never truly know the miracle of movement’.
what a bonus! i had unwittingly completed an intense round of martial arts training! in the end, it wasn’t the joy of moving to the front, checking out at last, and knowing i had saved $10 on a pizza stone that really made me feel good, no, what really made my day were the human encounters and experiences i had while standing still and waiting.
upon arriving home and sitting down, i read my newspaper horoscope: ‘in spite of the bustle of the world, you feel a human kinship. you regard your fellow travelers as partners, whether they happen to be family, friends, co-workers, or total strangers. ‘
Nov20
TREAT THE FEET
There’s language in her eye, her cheek, her lip; Nay, her foot speaks.
– William Shakespeare
visit #1 – in pain and needing a foot doc
‘any idea how this happened?’
‘well, ironically i was walking a long distance every day to take care of my body and be healthy.’
‘so, were you wearing a good pair of supportive running shoes and socks, when you sustained this injury to your foot?’
‘yes.’
‘because i can clearly see the deep tan lines from your teva sandals on your feet’
‘umm…..’
‘well it was a very hot summer and i always see all the people in those adventure ads, climbing mountains, zip-lining, and running across the country in them, so i thought…’
‘have you ever had a cortisone shot before?’
‘no, but i see all those athletes get right back on the field after an injury and a quick shot. heard it’s kind of painful though…’
‘well you’ll be needing one today to try to loosen the tendons, and this, along with stretching exercises and bla bla bla, will help your foot to get better.
‘okay i guess..’
‘nurse, can you hold her foot please?’
‘uh, oh.’
‘owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!’
‘you probably want to kick me in the face right now, don’t you?’
‘actually yes, it was the first thing that crossed my mind, and i would have, except my foot hurts so much.’
‘okay, we’ll see you back here in 2 weeks. don’t forget to do everything i told you in the meantime.’
visit #2 – back at foot doc – 2 weeks later
‘have you been doing everything i’ve told you to do to help your foot to get better?’
‘yes.’
‘including 5 times a day for the stretching?’
‘ummm…..’
‘glad it looks a bit better, but the tendons are still in need of some relief. another cortisone shot for you today.’
‘are you sure? last time i got the shot, i drove home with my foot on fire , i had to accelerate and break with my left foot, and it felt like a knife was jammed into my foot of burning flesh that lasted for 6.3 hours. i really don’t know how those football players get right back into a game after a shot. also, i am supposed to go hiking in the woods with my kinder class today and be the leader, then sneak out of school early to go to the tigers final game where we will sweep the playoffs and get into the world series at last! there will be all kinds of celebrating going on and lots of dances in the stands and drunk people jumping on my foot, i’m sure of it!’
‘you’ve really thought about all the angles, but we have to do it so that you don’t delay your recovery. do you have good seats?’
visit #3 – foot doc again – 4 weeks later
(running late for my appointment, so i quickly gave myself a pedicure on the injured foot only and shaved that leg right above that ankle – my general rule is only in summer, or going on a hot date or the doctor, but heck it was only one foot affected, so he would never see the other foot, and i had no date that day, who would know the difference?
‘how is your foot coming along?’
‘pretty well i think.’
‘well, let’s have a look. roll up both pant legs and take off your shoes and socks and we can compare how your feet are doing, the healthy one vs. the injured one.’
‘really?’
‘yes, it’s a good way to show you what we’re striving for in your recovery.’
‘okay.’
i did as asked and he told me to walk around to see if i was favoring the healthy one. not too bad until i looked down. one foot had dramatically chipped up tangerine polish on every toe along with a clearly unshaven calf, the other had a nicely pedicured bright red set of nails and a shaved ankle. if there was ever a person attuned to noticing the details of a foot, it is a foot doc. he said nothing.
‘so, it looks like it has improved. let’s go for one more shot just to help those tendons along, and i’ll leave you to continue your recovery. call me if it gets worse again, otherwise you know what to do.’
yes, i thought , as i walked very gingerly like a geisha towards the front desk: stretch before exercising, wear good shoes, and most importantly – always get a pedicure on both feet.
I didn't have my glasses on.... 