why i am still single #1 –

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the following very real note was sent to me by a man promoting himself as a wonderful potential love match. wow – so many interesting elements contained within –

‘I like catching frogs and turtles and wild boar..My goal in life right now is to catch a fox. Im unique because Im a lesbian trapped in a mans body.I love music..Blues and rockn roll..Without it..I would rather be deaf n dumb..Like Helen Keller.. O.K. Heres the real scoop. I just moved to ____ from the city life. I feel like Im living an old episode of Andy of Mayberry. The only thing missing is Aunt B.lol I have no friends out here.Im a good guy.. I know how to treat a woman. Im funny..Im caring..and Im loyal..Im a true romantic. ..Im looking for a true friend. Thats it.. No thrills no frills..I can cook french cusine.. italian..and middle eastern dishes, oh yea..and road kill..{but only upon request}. Im the best pool player this side of the Mississippi.. I give the best back massages you ever experienced not to mention my claim to fame ..the ultimate foot massage..Usually before Im done with the first foot..you beg for the hanky panky!! Anyway..thats just the beggining. I ride fast..but never ride faster than my Guardian Angel can fly!! Just wanna say..Seriously..All us lonely people..Where do we all belong.. And always remember, You cant always get what you want…But if you try sometimes.. you just might find…You”ll get what you need!! Yeh Baby!! Mick said that.’

9 responses »

  1. It’s almost schizophrenic: I’m nice, I’m cocky, I’m loyal, I’m arrogant. You could sing the bitch song to him: I’m a bitch, I’m a mother, I’m a child, don’t cook me roadkill.

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