my daughter and her aussie family, having decided to take on an easy pet, went the “cute little guinea pigs” route. my grandsons enjoyed playing with them, they were cuddly, and loved to run around in the yard, (grandkids and pigs, both). living in the southern hemisphere, and with a very warm climate, it was not unusual and worked out well for everyone.
until one day, when it got just too hot for them, and the little guys, (the pigs, not the grand babies), decided to make a run for it and head for a cooler location, under the house. they haven’t really seen them since, (the pigs not the babies). i suggested to my daughter that she send the littlest guy, (baby, not pig), under the house on a hunting expedition, with a headlamp and a net. he is the only one who would fit under there, has a huge love of hands-on adventure, and would probably find the mission quite exciting.
my daughter and i discussed the possibilities if they didn’t find them:
‘are they vegetarians?’
‘oh they won’t go hungry, they can eat as much grass as they like out there and always be full.’
‘but isn’t everything massive there, you have super races of every animal, who have adapted and are highly developed survivors?’
‘what if they run out of grass? what if they have to eat a bug or something to survive?’
‘yeh, once they have a taste for blood, they could go after bigger things. the neighbor’s cat, a kangaroo, and even us.’
‘we could come home one day and find them to be giants, roaming the yard, looking menacing, making eye-contact with us and hungry!’
‘yes.’
‘it would be like a bad b-movie, with us as the running, shrieking victims.’
‘could you possibly videotape it for me and i could make a fun family movie out of it?’
soon after, i noticed that she had put up an offer to local friends on Facebook – “looking for a good home for cute guinea pigs, our yard will just not accommodate them since we’ve moved.” following is a very real part of that exchange:
a: Are they child friendly??
h: Not really lap guineas, need more handling. I have a leash and everything but don’t think they are quite there yet.
j: be warned everyone !! they are the guinea pigs from hell !!! they would be perfect extras as pets for the dudes of Sons of Anarchy !!!
apparently, people have different perspectives about them, clearly divided between those who’ve met them, and those who haven’t. but really, leashes?!
You can’t create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings. Yeardley Smith (voice of lisa simpson)
image credits: freeamigurumipatterns, news.bbc.co.uk, theguardian.com
I have my glasses on.... 
Oh I can’t stop laughing!
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happy i made you laugh today julie, you needed it!
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Cannot thank you enough my friend!
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i’ll be thinking of you all in the next few days and know it will all be okay in the end. ps – this daughter, (holli, not the guinea pig), had a chance to spend some time with ‘her anthony goyder’ in bunbury right after christmas. next time i’m down under, i’ll make sure we all get together, with you and your anthony goyder. what a fun reunion that would be.
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Yes and please keep in touch about this!
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Yes, but who is that other Anthony Goyder? So intriguing….
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i know julie! and i will for sure )
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Yes please!
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A lot of fun. Had me laughing also.
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thanks, irene )
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Reminded me of Cujo somehow, rampaging guinea pigs is very Stephen King. 🙂 Thanks for the laughs.
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yes, exactly brenda. and you are very welcome )
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I love your images today, Beth. Of the little one crawling under the house with a miner light at a net (the grand, not the pig). Of GPigZilla (the pig, not the grands). Of a yard with half-eaten grass (by the pigs, not the grands). A leash to try to control the situation (the pigs, not the grands). Love this post.
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thanks so much mark, hard to distinguish between all of the little creatures, including the grandies, running around in the yard at times.
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Coming to a theatre near you (more likely straight to video), Hamsters under the House! You thought they were cute and cuddly until they developed and penchant for blood…DuDuDah!
Haha. This one kills me! Love it.
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yes, indeed mark. thanks for enjoying it )
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Those crocheted ones are really cute.
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they are. and then –
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Though not 700 kg, Carmel was fairly large. Carmel recently went to guinea pig heaven after being part of our household since 2008. She leaves behind her sister Spice. http://mholloway63.wordpress.com/2014/01/01/michelles-weekly-pet-challenge-carmel-and-spice/
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oh, wow. and thanks for for the link, maryann )
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MTM’s friend Miguel spent a lot of time at breakfast talking about how much he hated pets. Unfortunately for his kids, they live in Spain, not Australia, and when the pets escaped, it was always over the balcony railing to fall four stories to their deaths. Your story redeemed the day for me, Beth.
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happy for your redemption. )
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🙂 Guinea pigs are truly cute, but the ones we’ve had have always been very skittish. Remind me to tell you the story about the hamster someday.
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i’d love to hear about it )
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http://jfowen.com/2013/09/08/some-escape-artists-have-four-legs/
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just read it and it is hilarious. thanks so much for sharing it )
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I hope if the baby goes under the house he can see they are quite fine. Not sure if you can catch those darn critters! We loved the way our guinea pigs squealed when we opened the fridge! They thought there was unlimited amounts of veggies in there! Hope that no monsters develop nor that their ‘rodent’ side becomes a problem! Funny post, Beth!
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thanks robin )
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I had rabbits as a 4H project as a kid. Never really had dreams about monster rabbits, but I do have a rabbit in my current novel that turns into a rabbit-man monster. You may be onto an interesting new trend with this pet-zilla idea.
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you never know, could be the next big thing )
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We had a couple of guinea pigs growing up. We thought it would be fun for them to get some exercise, so we let them outside on the grass. They totally took off for the closest bushes at top speed and were never seen or heard again, despite our best efforts to locate them. Was living with us really so bad? Where they chirping “FREEDOM!!!!” to each other in their best Braveheart voices? Who knows. But too bad we didn’t have leashes. 😉
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yep, they took their opportunity and went for it!
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Great train of thought here. Really enjoyed it. 🙂
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a train that ran off the rails a bit ) thanks, tric
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I can’t believe they let the guinea pigs run loose in the yard! I remember having them as a kid and would only let it play in my room. Now that I actually think about the fact I had a rodent running around my bedroom, pooping when I scared it, I’m kind of grossed out.
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yes, aussa, not that unusual there, where it is always warm )
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here’s the thing … i have met those beasts … the leash is there for a reason … just saying ! 🙂
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oh, absolutely believe you, that’s why i included your response as part of the post )
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you crack me up 🙂 we had guinea pigs, we went away for a weekend – left them plenty of food, but we had a huge thunderstorm…and well one died from the shock…my girls were heartbroken. We kept them in a large hutch with a staircase up to their lounge – apart from pooping everywhere – they were cuddly and the girls loved them…leashes for them…erm…no 🙂 x
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always happy to make you laugh, jen )
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thank you ~ needed it tonight xx
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You always add such fun postings Beth
and this one is excellent, and the giggles
are awesome too 🙂 Guinea Zilla indeed 😉
Andro xxxx
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thanks, andro. and watch your back )
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Too funny, Beth. We just got two female guinea pigs for our boys for Christmas. WE’d had them 2 days when one of them escaped in the kitchen and hid under our counters for 2 days until we caught her with, I kid you not, the old fashioned shoe box with a pencil trap. It’s about all the pet I can handle though!
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yep, i totally get it )
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I for one will welcome our Guinea Pig overlords when they come.
(I understand we all get free gym membership at the treadmill wheel when they do!)
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yes, you are so right.
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Hahahaha! Seriously Beth I couldn’t stop laughing!! 🙂
Run guinea pigs be free!! Haha
Hugs to you, Paula xxxx
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happy to make you laugh!
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🙂 xx
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Hello! I have 3 guinea pigs. They each have a different “personality”, but are probably the safest and easiest pet for kids alongside gerbils and rats. I know so much about them, no really!!, and I recommend people rescue them from their local animal shelter, spca ect…they’re perfect little creatures. =)
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yes, nothing to worry about at all. (unless they escape and become a giant super race ) ) keep your eye on those 3 –
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OMG OK.
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I bred guinea pigs while in middle and high school. Well, I kept guinea pigs; they did the breeding on their own. Mostly it was the one boar who just could not be restrained by things like putting him in a separate cage, with a perforated-steel cover, with an encyclopedia on top, on the far side of the room, and the sows several feet off the ground and with covered tanks of their own. He just kept on trying. There’s probably a life lesson in there, although it implies being an unstoppable guinea pig happy to have children with your daughter, granddaughter, and great-granddaughter, which is just a bunch of ew.
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yes, a huge bunch of ewww. when i was 5, i had the idea of raising spiders in the garage and selling them. i didn’t go really well so i switched careers.
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Love your blog.
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thank you so much!
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