Dec27

plans.

Posted on by
Standard

the recipe said it was easy

only 4 ingredients

no cooking

only

melting

spreading

drizzling

chilling

but

they did not say

not to wear a white sweater with bell sleeves when melting chocolate

don’t forget that you have to individually unwrap each caramel

while chocolate is still warm and not solidifying

that the peanut butter chips won’t actually drizzle

that the caramel will come out in blobs

that the chocolate on the bottom won’t easily come off of the foil

that the slab will not actually break in the right way

that the 4 ingredients will re-solidify in the disposal

that the whole thing will not resemble the picture

that it will still taste good if people are daring enough to try it

that this will be a one-time recipe for me.

‘just because you make a good plan, doesn’t mean that’s what’s gonna happen.’

-taylor swift

76 responses »

    • Except that the chocolate process is to heat it for 20 seconds at a time, stir and repeat as many times as needed. It was like an I love Lucy episode.) good thought though. And maybe I could have opened the caramels ahead of time if I had thought about the logistics or have a sous chef at the ready )

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  17. I sympathize. I had a really ugly Christmas Eve morning encounter with a pizzelle iron. A few simple ingredients, what amounts to a very thin waffle iron, and 45 second bake time–sounds simple enough, right? Except that: they stick. They burn. they slide around and get real ugly, and you make like 80 of them to get about half that number that are close to symmetrical. Not my best moment, but that’s what I get for reaching beyond my experience.

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  24. Well, THAT sounded like a frustrating experience! I posted my attempt last year to make bacon-wrapped hard boiled egg-stuffed avocados….the photo alone made it worth sharing, because it was a DISASTER! Oh well, until the next time…

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  29. Oh, do I know about lousy directions. How could they not tell you to wear a cheap work shirt from the thrift store and to not pour any of it in the disposal?? The didn’t even have the heart to tell you how many times they had to try it to make it come out right. It’s that way with all directions. No one gives them to a novice to try before publishing them. Sewing patterns, quilting instructions, all manner of crochet and knitting are equally as frustrating from faulty directions. It’s NOT your fault. 😉 Keep saying it over and over until it rings true. You know what they say about plans. ;(

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  31. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve tried to cook recipes from magazines, blogs, websites… they almost never look like the picture but sometimes they do taste just fine. I’ve learned to taste as I go, and beware too many “different” methods or ingredients in one recipe – “Good in theory” isn’t a good plan in the kitchen 🙂 And when all else fails, there is almost always ice cream in the freezer!

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