if we were all to go through life with the same approach as the kinders of the world,, we’d never spend a minute of our day thinking about diet and exercise and stress, for there would be absolutely no need to. 

       during the school year, most of my waking hours are spent with these little people, where i learn from them daily, and i never cease to be amazed by their honest and natural way of doing things.  i’ve come to the conclusion that if adults were to go through their days in the same way, we would all be a lot happier and healthier.

following are the unwritten rules of the kinders’ approach:

1) never walk anywhere when you can skip, jump, scoot, or run to get there

2) when greeting someone you like and haven’t seen for at least ten minutes, feel free to jump on them and roll

3) eat small amounts of food, and eat often

4) if you’re eating something you like and you drop it, just pick it up and finish it, or give to it a pet if you want to

5) if you’re not able to sit still for very long when eating, see if you can take one last bite of it away with you in your mouth or hands, chances are it will fall out somewhere not too far away

6) drink water every 7 minutes, even if it comes from inside an old toy, the cat’s bowl, a snow pile, or a puddle

7) when asked to sit somewhere, sit in at least 3 other spots first, before moving there

8) run up the stairs whenever possible, to make sure you get to the top before everyone else

9) sleep when your body gets tired, napping most anywhere and anytime

10) laugh, cry, scream, or shriek whenever the mood strikes you

11) tell everyone around you when you are happy, sad, scared, or mad, without any filter

12) don’t worry about what anyone thinks

13) play with lots of people

14) ask as many questions as it takes, until you understand something

15) hug people or blankets or stuffed toys when you want to

16) if you are afraid or don’t want to do something, pretend you are allergic to it

17) move in slow motion or like a robot when going somewhere you don’t want to

18) don’t play with people who aren’t nice to you

19) gather around in a circle to see what happened when someone falls down

20) climb anything you can find, especially when playing the ‘don’t touch the floor game’ in your living room

21) try to catch butterflies, moths, flies and birds and chase them until your legs get tired

22) take a close look at stuff that you think is cool or beautiful 

23) ‘read’ and tell stories to your pet

23) wake up excited for every day

   it’s very early morning and i’m waiting in the airport, filling time and amusing myself by people watching  and had the following observations:

• my pilot eating a massive bag of burgers and fries, all i could think was – please have a strong stomach…

• pack of boy scouts, all in uniform, including the grown leaders, and overheard,  ‘what happens down there, stays down there….’ – i don’t really want to know and it’s not exactly the motto i remember anyway
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• bitter attendant storming around muttering to himself and anyone willing to listen, angry because my flight to nyc was going to be leaving before his was going to leave for boston.  apparently his flight had flown in this same order for the last couple of days and he took it as personally as a major league ball player who’d been moved lower on the batting roster. 

   finally boarded and flight attendants suggested they take my carry-on bag from me and tag it, as it probably wouldn’t fit into the the overhead bins. having flown many times before, and knowing i can jam my bag into most any space, i smiled, said no thank you, and moved ahead bag in hand.  they smiled back and said, “good luck, they are quite slim.” 

   i headed off down the aisle and thought how lucky i was, having arrived at the airport just before boarding and still snagging this choice seat – 6c. it was such a low number that i wondered if perhaps they had bumped me up to first class, but was quickly brought back down to earth when i realized there were only 12 rows on the entire plane.

   i found my little seat – indeed near the front, (and near the back as well), and went to pop open the bin. looking up, i realized why they’d offered to take my bag.  the ‘bins’, a series of large, overhead slots, were in fact so ‘slim’ that the only items i could imagine them accommodating would be a comb, a toothpick,  a lock of hair, and possibly a cd , (if it wasn’t in its case).

   turned and passed my bag back, bucket-brigade style, through the line of people behind me, and into the hands of the all-knowing flight attendants. the line seemed to have no problem helping with this, though i did catch a glimpse of the attendants smirking and nodding knowingly towards each other as they tagged my bag and sent it off to wherever it was they originally wanted to send it onto.

   once relieved of my luggage, i settled into my seat next to the window, on what was a freezing cold plane, and prepared to instantly fall asleep.  pilot announced, ‘don’t be alarmed by the smoke filling the cabin, just a bit of an air conditioning snafu….’ i was so tired that i decided to take my chances and sleep through whatever that really meant. 

   no sooner had i closed my eyes than i heard a big, friendly, southern voice saying, ‘ i sure hope you like to snuggle ‘cuz we are gonna be packed in here!’  looked up and saw a giant with a giant smile. he told me he was 6’8” and 257 pounds and i wondered how he was ever going to fit into his seat next to me, he did the best he could, squeezed in, using a technique any vegas contortionist would admire, and buckled in for the ride. we chatted a bit and soon both fell asleep. as far as i know it all went well, and assumed the reason i was so warm when we arrived was that we’d been unwittingly spooning for the duration of the flight. 

   once we got to the airport, he unfolded himself out of his seat, and after he carried my luggage to my connecting gate, i said goodbye to my ‘airplane husband’ – our brief and cozy relationship was over.   

   i went downstairs and found the super shuttle that was going to deliver me to my brother’s apartment in nyc. shared the shuttle with 8 other people and set off for the city. i heard lots of languages around me and wondered how they’d all manage to find their way around the city. as we got closer, i got a call from my brother to check my estimated arrival time, and i announced, ‘well, it should be soon, we’re heading into downtown now.’ there was an instant reaction throughout the shuttle, it was as if i had delivered a hilarious and shocking one-liner. the entire shuttle burst out laughing, people turned around to look at me, i heard someone repeating ‘downtown?’ driver flipped out and asked for my address again. somehow my gaffe had even managed to overcome all language barriers.  who knew that in new york, there is no ‘downtown,’ only midtown, uptown and on and on…. all this and i had not even begun the vacation yet, wondered what was yet to come –

i cannot believe my eyes – 5 minutes of real rain!!!

     many may consider a route that doesn’t follow ‘as the crow flies’ or as the map/gps/passenger ‘suggests’, to be inefficient or in other words – not the best way to go.  in my experience however, it is on those unknown avenues, that i find myself inevitably traveling most often, and on these journeys, i always end up where i planned to go, though i discover many places along the way that i never would have experienced otherwise. 

     i first noticed it when i was very young, and went riding my bike out of the garage, all smiles and with sparkly streamers flying from the handlebars, excited for what the day held, venturing into the safe confines of my own neighborhood.  once out on the street though, it was often a struggle to find my way around, and in and out of places. 

     frequency and familiarity made absolutely no difference – somehow between the time i left and the time i returned – the paths, the roads, the routes, all seemed to converge and made me wonder how i would arrive at my  destination, and upon eventually getting there, wondering how i would ever get back.

     over time, i learned to adapt and just worked things out, though i was reminded of this challenge as i grew up, began driving a car, and had places where i was actually expected to be at a particular time. 

     as a parent, and as my daughters became more aware of their surroundings, i heard comments from the backseat such as: ‘are you doing this on purpose mom?!’, ‘this is not where your company picnic is supposed to be, it looks like we’re going to the place where we went canoeing yesterday!,’  ‘haven’t you lived here forever?’, ‘is it legal to turn around here?’, and ‘are you trying to be funny?’

     over time, family and friends got used to u-turns at the emergency turn-arounds on the freeway, circling around a city, (even our own), calls and stops asking strangers how to get from one place to another, and of course, finding our way to places via other places we never even knew existed. 

they adapted as well, and knew when they got the call, ‘which way am i supposed to go?’ from me, not to ask which direction i was heading, but rather, ‘what do you see?’  landmarks make much more sense than cardinal directions do in my book, and it’s not as common after all, to be sitting at a light next to a giant paul bunyan statue, as it is to be ‘heading north on main street.’

     as an adult, i’ve only encountered two other people who have these same challenges – one of my sisters and one of my close friends. when trying to visit each other or even go places together, we often end up somewhere else first, and are understanding of the idea of having chosen the ‘more interesting route.’

     for some unexplained reason, when traveling far distances, such as australia, i seem to be able to navigate my way there. once i was lost walking around hong kong, with broken glasses and no command of the language. word soon spread like wildfire in the family, with texts going out – ‘mom is lost and blind in hong kong, hopefully she can find her way out’, (think mr. magoo), and i eventually did somehow. ironically, one of my first jobs was as a travel agent…

     recently, i began to look into this phenomenon and stumbled upon a reason, a scientific explanation for all of this – dyscalculia.  just five syllables to sum up what i’ve always wondered about. amazing there’s an actual term for this – think of it as ‘directional dyslexia’. it has to do with mental mapping abilities, directionality, mechanical steps, and conversion of 2d images to 3d. wow – had i known this a long time ago, i would have had a comeback when i was questioned by my daughters!

     the plus side of this, is that people who have this are generally, ‘highly intelligent and developed in other areas.’ okay, i’ll take it. on this research site, there were many who wrote to say, ‘i can’t believe i have found others like this!’, and ‘i feel redeemed at last!’, and ‘now i know when i come out of the restroom at the airport why i am lost in the terminal!’  one woman even had the ironic twist of fate of marrying a cartographer. it was an endless word-fest of ‘lost’ people celebrating the finding of others like them. 

     like them, i have found my people at last! i think it would be wonderful to get together and meet to discuss this in person, however, i don’t know how long it would take us all to find each other. until then, i’ll just try to make sure i don’t have my shirt on inside-out and i’ll keep my eyes open for the giant salmon, where i know i should turn to head towards the cottage.  

on my daily walk downtown today i was glad, as always, to happen upon a loud and raucous main street event – even more amazing when i finally saw its name on a banner – ‘inner peace festival’ – never would have guessed that…

security is in the eye of the beholder –.

      playing with my grand babies recently, and watching each of them reach for various familiar things when tired or in need of comfort, i was taken back to the days when my three daughters were young. each of them, as well as their friends, had something they relied on to soothe and reassure themselves. it seemed to be a very personal choice and there was no way for the adults to predict or account for these important selections.

      in our house, it ran the gamut from a very long, skinny strip of yellow knitting, (meant to be a blanket but ultimately it became something more akin to a giant scarf, as knitting is not my forte), a well-worn puffy checked blanket, (meant to be a welcome home from the hospital gift for my first daughter, but not actually completed until the third was born, as sewing is not my forte either), and of course my middle daughter’s choice – a silky yellow nightgown of mine, (meant to be worn by me, but commandeered by her for this higher purpose).

      the options seemed to work well for each of the girls, though the trashy lingerie in the grocery cart situation was a bit awkward at times – (to add to the shock and awe, it became quite filthy over time, as she could not bear to part with it for a wash, and of course it was nowhere near as comforting if i ever did get the rare chance to do so).  who am i after all, to mess with someone’s sense of security?

     i smile as i remember the choice that my friend’s 2 year old daughter made. after her mother had her long, dark hair cut into a summer-friendly short bob, this lovely young girl lost her security, which had been her curtain of hair, and found her own unique way to regain it. one day soon after the fateful cut, she wandered out of her mother’s room , wearing her black half slip on her head where her long hair had once been. after that, she cried and refused to go in public without her ‘security wig’.  even though she resembled a miniature nun, and garnered many odd looks from the unknowing public, she wore it with pride and happiness, and balance was restored to her world once again.

    as i now work on a blanket for the latest grand baby soon to be welcomed into our family, (and notice that it has somehow morphed into something resembling a queen-sized comforter, estimate that it will take 6 more feature-length films for me to complete, and note that my sewing prowess has not improved with time), i wonder if she will reach for this behemoth in times of need, or will she leave it piled in the corner while clinging to something i have not even imagined?

 dictionary.com attempts to explain it in this way:

“sucking your thumb without a blanket is like eating a cone without ice cream!” – Linus van Pelt

in the end, we each, at all ages and stages of life, search until we find a sense of security in our own places – how else to explain the phenomenon of ‘snuggies?’

i recently received the following email from a very generous and friendly co-worker, and while quite possibly everything about this offer is appealing, i may just have to consider it for a bit. hope no one snatches it up it while i’m thinking about where this will fit into the cottage, this one may move fast! (even the dog looks a bit confused/amused)

Anyone interested in this old couch and loveseat?  the Loveseat is in good shape, but the couch has bare springs showing.  Kids.  If you are handy with furniture or want to pay someone to re-upholster, go for it.

  Both need to be cleaned.

  If you want either, for free of course, let me know soon or they’ll be hauled away to furniture graveyards.  We have had them for 20 years and have enjoyed them very much.  

   Whatever has fallen into the springs is yours also.  Marbles and Hot Wheels, mostly.  I don’t really want to know.  Peace. GG

walking downtown, it’s always interesting – the things one encounters. after a long day in the sun, and lots of action, we were ready for a bit of food and some calm, and took a wagon to make the trip a bit easier on my young niece. after approximately 20 feet, she climbed out and decided to walk, leaving us to haul the wagon with no purpose other than to offer us the unexpected opportunity of a better workout.

along the way, we encountered many interesting things: a colorful abstract art exhibit being disassembled – lying in a state of disarray and ready to head off to europe, a random group of people of all ages gathered and milling around in the middle of the road with a keyboard, an uncle sam statue that my niece stopped to hug,  a circular bike rolling it’s way down the road, a green street fair, a man selling golf balls in his yard chatting up another local, a trio of dancing ballerinas clad in wedding gowns and high tops, and a gaggle of tourists with name tags and cameras. while all of these were fun happenings, they were merely the appetizer for what was yet to come – our dining experience. 

we decided to go with the food that would most comfort the littlest of us – noodles, and went to a local asian restaurant. it was small and quiet and uncrowded so it was just what we needed. once seated, our waitress  presented us each with a jumbo glass of water. after walking away she must have noticed the glass was bigger than my niece’s head, so she swooped it up, without a word, poured the water into the glass of a customer at another table and walked away, never to return with a smaller glass for her. all interesting choices….

next up, the order. we each ordered and when it came to my niece, her parents tried to order her ‘just plain noodles and some broccoli.’ upon hearing this, the waitress replied, ‘no butter.’ ‘okay, just the noodles are fine – and some broccoli maybe?’ her response to this; ‘noodles?’ ‘yes.’ ‘broccoli?’ ‘yes.’ her response to this was: a dead unblinking stare – totally expressionless, dumfounded, stunned, or insulted, frozen in a state of zen or anger, hard to tell.  after a few minutes she jotted something down and retreated to the kitchen without another word. discussion at our table then turned to what might actually come out of the kitchen – did she understand, was she angry, confused, humiliated, who knew? a very hard call to make at that point.

time went by and she never did return to our table, instead she had someone else wait on us, and then proceeded to put on large blue rubber gloves and began cleaning the restaurant. keep in mind the entire place was the size of a small living room, so everything that happened was quite out in the open. at one point, while awaiting the arrival of our food, another group came in, and she sat them, and served them the giant waters – large blue rubber gloves and all, refusing to acknowledge us in any way. 

when our food came out, it was somewhat anticlimactic, everything had arrived as ordered, and we felt that even though we had horrified or insulted her and she abandoned us, all had ultimately turned out well. we finished up the meal, with the american/asian tradition of fortune cookies, and called a cab to take all of us and our wagon back home again. imagine our surprise when we opened the first cookie and found the message below. the perfect ending to the perfect evening. 

1. since peaches are not quite in season yet, take a bag of frozen peaches out of freezer to defrost in fridge, go to sleep dreaming of healthy breakfast smoothie

2.  take peaches out of fridge on the next day to chop up and create delicious and guilt-free smoothie

3. notice the fridge shelf below bag is a bit sticky

4. notice the bag has leaked (even though it’s unopened), while defrosting

5. take everything off of sticky shelf

6. notice peach juice has leaked to the back of the shelf and hardened into a solid gel

7. take out giant sticky shelf and place in sink

8. turn on hot water to melt off hardened peach juice gel

9. notice peach juice has dripped down into fridge drawers below where the shelf was

10. take out drawers

11. say a few things back to fridge that is now incessantly beeping due to door being ajar too long

12. feel my feet getting wet and turn back to sink

13. notice hot water running on shelf placed in sink is somehow flowing over it and onto counter and beyond

14. notice water has also flowed into junk drawer and cupboards below counter while on its way to the floor

15. slide on floor as i turn off water, pull out junk drawer, empty it, throw away things that are waterlogged

16. empty cupboards below, dry out everything, grab beach towels to clean up floor

17. turn back to fridge, still beeping, notice bottom of fridge has peach juice on it also, now that drawers have been removed

18. get more towels, empty entire fridge, wash and dry everything, replace shelves and drawers and contents, wash and dry floor

16. cut open peach bag, notice the peaches are now dried out due to lack of juice. put them in a bowl. add whipped cream. back to healthy eating plan tomorrow.

17. notice one ant milling around, sensing a dot of sticky peach nectar somewhere