if i were really, really, ridiculously wealthy,
i wouldn’t buy a mansion,
just tiny apartments in every city i love.
-mara wilson
—
ann arbor, michigan, usa – summer 2018
yeti, in the wild.
—
just before i left for my trip
one daughter and her family
were moving from one house to another
waiting for a closing date
so
i turned over my tiny cottage to
one daughter
one son in law
two grandies
two in-laws
two cats
and
two hives of bees.
—
i
then
moved
into
another
daughter’s apartment
with
one daughter
two grandies
and
glen frey the cat not the rock star
as he was afraid of
other cats and people and bees.
and
besides
there was
no way
my cottage could hold
any more people or other creatures.
—
my third daughter
stayed put
in her usual home
with
one son-in-law
two grandies
and
one giant cat.
—
while staying at my daughter’s
glen frey jumped through her screen one day
and took off into the woods
we tried and tried to get him to return
but he just ran deeper into the trees
we called him, looked for him
we left out food and water
and finally one day
he began to emerge
for breakfast and dinner
and
quickly left again
without as much as a nod
before speeding off
into the wild once more.
—
upon my return
it was time to try to capture
the elusive woodland cat
who’d been living as a yeti
camouflaged
elusive
wild
deep in the trees
and my mission was to
bring him home once more.
we staked him out
during his most popular
evening feeding time
and sure enough
he showed up
but
as i approached him
he seemed to recognize me
yet
he ran back into the woods
always staying just beyond my reach
then
i saw him peeking out at me
and
he slowly returned
he must have remembered
and as i
offered him my hand
he began to purr
turned his back
i grabbed him
he yelled
it took two of us to wrestle him
we wrapped him in a blanket
put him in the giant cat/yeti carrier
and
i carried him off for home
with him yelling all the way
it felt like i had kidnapped
a reluctant member of bigfoot’s cult
and
he was not happy to say the least.
he stayed up all night yelling
yet
in the morning
he was resting
and
he’d found his spot at home once more.
—
i’ll never know
about his yeti days
and his time on the lam
spent with woodland creatures
and
wild adventures
of all kinds.
he’ll probably never tell.
glen frey, in his home again.
—
(along with the rest of the family, the other cats,
and the bees, all in their homes again)
—
“there is precious little in civilization to appeal to a yeti.”
– sir edmund hillary
the aussies have moved back
and the family is reunited
little f
has decided that it would be a good idea
to connect our houses
so that we will always be close by
and never lose our attachment
so he made up a master plan
we’ll need the following stuff:
a couple packs of big nails
a couple of pieces of wood
1 new tree plus the tree that’s already there
2 microphones with tubes attached to the end
1 zip line
1 cubby tree house
1 new house and 1 house that’s already here
2 cans of green paint and 1 can of yellow paint (our favorite colors)
1 tube of silicone stuff
2 key rings (keep in the secret key hole)
2 glass squirrel doors for the holes so they don’t steal the keys
1 saw to cut the wood
1 box of bandaids
1 extra first aid kit
2 bags each of nuts and worms and seeds to feed the tree animals
a couple of packs of kit-kats and carmello bars and cadbury chocolates for us
this is the secret hole where we’ll leave our keys
and always have open access to our houses and hearts.