Tag Archives: humor

unexpected places.

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just curious

when waking up in the morning

at my friend’s house

why there was a large frying pan

on the bottom shelf of the nightstand

next to where i had been sleeping?

was this a hint that i was expected to chef our breakfast?

was this a self-defense weapon to use as needed?

had someone forgotten where they set down their pan?

had someone gone on a late-night eating in bed food bender?

when i inquired, one answered:

‘oh, is that the one that is usually hanging in the closet?’

what, there’s one usually hanging in the closet?

another answered:

‘what frying pan?’

host woke up and said,

‘ i was going to give that one away.’

oh, of course.

that’s the perfect place to leave it to remember to give it away.

 i loved waking up with a surprise, a mystery, and a smile.

(and there really was an even larger frying pan hanging in the hall closet.)

“there are almost unlimited possibilities for making discoveries and to uncover the unknown.

it is in the nature of the discovery that it can not be planned or programmed.

-on the contrary, it consists of surprises and appears many times in the most unexpected places.”

-bengt i. samuelsson

your words.

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when you’ve just settled in for the night

and someone calls asking you to go out

you roll your eyes, you sigh

 then have a couple of ways to turn down the offer,

one leaves the caller with a better feeling about you than the other:

 

option#1

“i don’t feel like going out tonight.”

lazy

unoriginal

puts the blame on you

 

option#2

“for now, my place is here.”

surprising

philosophical

you answer to a higher power

choose your words wisely.

 

“facts matter not at all. perception is everything. it’s certainty.”

-stephen colbert

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

credits: franklin springboro library, take a hike photography

 

 

 

let us read.

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reasons why that reader is frowning:

1.they just read the book they put off for 393,348  years and it’s excellent, why didn’t they read it sooner?

2. they are in a fight with their to be read pile and it is winning.

3. someone just said, “why don’t you read the books you have before getting more?”

4. all of the above.

5, ?

“let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.”

~  voltaire, born in 1694.

 

 

credits: good living, paper fury

 

don’t lose your head.

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really didn’t think anything of

carrying a pinata head in my passenger seat

to take to a friend’s birthday celebration

until

parking and grabbing a gift out of my car

the person in the car next to me

gave me the oddest look

after seeing my pinata head just sitting there

(a pinata true crime scene?)

i realize

this is probably not something that most people do 

but to me

this is just a part of a celebration

and i do.

“if one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.”

-betty white

 

so annoying!

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a found list of annoyances above

i really love these so much

i really love that someone wrote them down

i am not annoyed by found lists

a few things i am annoyed with:

-mosquitoes

 

-cold coffee

 

-wet wool touching me

 

-trying to undo an old roll of tape that tears into tiny strips

 

-most technology when it refuses to work correctly

even if 97% of the time it is due to something i am doing or not doing

 

-yodelers, unless i am in the alps.

 

what are some of your annoyances?

 

“what annoyances are more painful than those of which we cannot compain?”

-marquis de custine

 

midnight snacks. or any time of day, really.

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this may or may not be me heading out in the weather for a midnight snack

 

“keep your friends close and your snacks, closer.”

-author unknown

 

 

 

 

source credits: animal.cafe – milk and cookies

life of the party.

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coco the dog

fully enjoyed the family and friends christmas eve party

and on this fine day would like to wish you all a merry christmas 

and

to all a good nap.

 

“christmas is the day that holds all time together.”

-alexander smith

a piece of work.

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getting ready for the holidays

takes a bit of time

but always worth it .

i hope no one else has this same style.

 

“one should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.”
― oscar wilde
photo credit: google vintage

sequence.

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it all began well and dandy

our school ny eve party was in the early minutes

changing out of my holiday llama pajamas

to head out for my annual doc checkup

zooming out and headed that way

until i wasn’t

when a road construction issue came into play

so i turned  up the music

waited it out

zoomed off again

finally got there

just a few minutes late

jumped out of the car

opened the back door to get something out

while also somehow slamming the front door shut

quickly felt something unexpected

ah, it was my finger closed in the front door

the wrong place to be

after i stared at it for a minute

i reopened the door, moved my hand, locked in back up

and headed in

noticing that it hurt and was beginning to change color

nurse took me right away

 he used to be a paramedic

while checking my vitals

i mentioned my finger

ah, they’ll probably be splinting it

my doc comes in

does my wellness interview and exam

all  good

i mention the finger

she sends me for an x-ray across the hall

when i come back

she suggests i get a flu shot while waiting

mentions that the receptionist

said i wanted to set up a covid booster shot

why not get it while i’m here?

paramedic nurse guy comes back

gives me both shots

says again that they’ll probably be splinting my finger

doc comes back in

says the x-ray shows

i fractured my finger

and it’s going to need a splint

paramedic nurse gives me a nod and smile

set up appointment for another x-ray in a week

 return to office in two weeks to see how it’s healing

doc calls me at home later

she reminds me

elevate, ice, motrin, splint

here i thought i was done for the year

how did this take such a turn?

sequences of events are always so fascinating when looking back.

“and now the sequence of events in no particular order.”

-dan rather, american newscaster

 

image credit: anne cevardi, osborn books

channeling chevy chase.

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a reblog of one of my fav christmas posts  – from december 2013

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tire tracks in snow flying over the curb
went with one of my daughters to my favorite christmas tree lot, FLATSNOOTS, to buy my little tree. i love everything about these guys, they are always eccentric, friendly, quick, cheap, and helpful.
there was lots of new snow everywhere, and when i thought i was turning into their driveway, i was actually flying over a curb. we landed in their lot, in a parking spot, right next to their trailer. i rolled down my window, popped the trunk, and yelled out to duke, (one of the owners), ‘hey, can you toss whatever you have for $10 into my trunk?’ ‘nope. looks like you’re parked now, and that was quite an entrance. c’mon out back and we’ll see what we can find you.’
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what i imagined that my car did as we entered the lot
(image credit: warner bros. pictures)
it was a typical flatsnoots shopping experience – they found me a little tree for $8, and told us to come into the trailer to warm up and pay, while they cut the bottom off of the tree. they quickly went to their mini bar, whipped out the cinnamon schnapps, and we toasted to the season, sang a song with them, and were on our way once again. i felt like we had been in a scene from ‘national lampoon’s christmas vacation.’ only better.
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Discounts Remain the Same:
10% to geezers
10% to anyone who wears a sombrero
10% to anyone shorter than my friend PhilFine Services Available:
Valet Parking (not)
We will fresh-cut, prune & fit your tree to your stand
Tree delivery is available
Flatsnoots is a charter member of the North American Wood Tick Association * 
Coolest, Funkiest, most AH-mazingly bodacious Hat wins a COOL PRIZE

Peace & Prosperity to All!,  Duke

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson