Sep23

tangled.

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all went well on my annual visit to the doctor 

except 

for a bit of a ‘gown snafu’

(this picture does not even begin to do it justice)

when i went to put it on

i couldn’t tell

which side

was supposed to be inside or outside

there were pockets both inside and outside

snaps all over the place

numerous ties of various sizes and locations

parts of the fabric were tucked into each other

no matter how i configured it

it just didn’t seem designed

for any sort of human form

knowing that i was under a time crunch

i quickly tried a few different scenarios

the multitude of mini-snaps

were designed for the hands of fairy

 ties were in illogical places

i somehow had to craft my own sleeves

feeling as though

i was in a speed design contest

or playing a  party game

 i finally just settled on my final look

 kind of wrapping the whole thing around me

covering things

snapping things

tying things

 when my doc came in she started laughing

saying

“you are sleeveless on one side

the front is in back

things are tied up all over”

she was impressed by my creativity

when i asked about the gown

she smiled and said

“it’s a cognitive test”

that’s why she’s so great

i hope she was kidding. 

—

“when everything becomes tangled, you should make the choice.” 

-roman simonyan

119 responses »

  4. I feel your pain, Beth! Last time I had to wear one I couldn’t quite figure it out. And I never thought of it till you mentioned it, but it is one hell of a cognitive test. At some point, I gave up and simply threw any want for being demure out the window. Who are we kidding, I do not have the first of anything that the doctor hasn’t already seen way too many of. Great post, my friend!

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  23. You may be starting a fashion trend. Who doesn’t like a doctor with a sense of humor? Not the same thing, but have you seen those Geico commercials where the guy comes down the hallway saying, “Guess who just got reinstated?” Then, after the patient admits to being scared, the doctor says, “Yeah, me too. Never mind, we’ll figure it out.” 🤣

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  27. The gown is a little changing to put on, the least to say. The size makes the difference also. The ties don’t seem to make connections. Haha, it’s cognitive test for sure. Some doctors want the open in the front and some want it in the back. I hope the nurse told you before you answered the test.

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  33. Brilliant. A friend of mine is a much larger lady. She was met by such a gown and a pair of paper knickers which wouldn’t go over her ankle. Having fantastic sense of humour she put them on her head and with a straight face said to the poor girl who came to get her “I’m all ready.”

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  50. Beth, you made me smile. I have wrestled with my nemesis, that gown, many a time. My best battles were with the ones that tie in the back. Whoever designed it has no knowledge of anatomy. Only a contortionist is able to tie something behind them. I always resorted to holding the back closed.

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  53. Pingback: tangled. – THE COVER SPACE

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