imagine my surprise
just before undergoing
an out-patient medical test
listening to the waiver
read aloud to me
most of it
consisting of the usual
risks, percentages, side effects
somewhere in the middle
“medicine is not an exact science.”
best liability statement i have ever heard.
“i am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.”
-alexander the great
image credit: aspca.org
someone must have tipped these two off
and told them
that they were going to see the vet today.
“you can keep as quiet as you like,
but one of these days somebody is going to find you.”
i went to the u of m dermo clinic
for my annual skin checkup
just how thorough they were
when 3 different docs
checked me out.
the first one asked,
“did you know that you have some glitter stuck to your back?’
the second one asked,
“how did you get glitter in your hair?”
and finally, the third, the resident doc asked,
“did you know that you have glitter on your feet?”
i think they all imagined that i’d been to a wild party
or secretly am a dancer as my second job
i really couldn’t attribute it to working with the kinders
now that it’s summer break.
i told all of them that i wasn’t really surprised
that it’s always on me somewhere
thanked them for letting me know
and for another clean bill of health.
i think it lightened things up a bit in their clinic.
“i must bridge the gap
between adolescent glitter and mature glow.”
image credit: instyle
how lucky am i
that there is a veterinary hospital
right in my very own classroom
and a doctor from that hospital
ready to ‘doctor me’ and to offer a diagnosis:
“you do not have a heartbeat and you have a very small cavity.”
i am thankful for this
and now that i understand
what is causing my foot to hurt
i know exactly how to make it all better.
“if you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy,
keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor.”