you wake up on christmas morning with a sucker stick stuck to your pajamas
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happy christmas everyone!
Dec25
Category Archives: Life
Dec24
la,la,la,la,la……. (not fa, la,la,la).
went to see this movie. waited outside for my friend to arrive.
just then, a loud group of people came out, and one said to the others,
‘i cannot believe that ____________ happened! he ____________! and _______!’
i could not believe they didn’t think about the other people sharing their space, waiting to go in and see the film and wanting all of the roller coaster ups and downs and surprises that came with it. they had revealed the ending of the movie to us. all i wanted was to take back that moment and block my ears and just say, ‘la,la,la,la,la,la,la………..’
Surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us. – Boris Pasternak
Dec21
a little something to warm you on this dark and stormy solstice day
my children, friends, family, co-workers, and visitors of all kinds, know that i love my coffee. new, old, freshly ground, from a bag, from a tin, just dripped, just perked, re-heated, from all corners of the world, as well as the local coffee shop, gas station, or grocery.
when i make my own pot of coffee, i love it strong, black, with a bit of cream. i love to heat what’s left, in the microwave, or on the stove, over and over, until it’s all gone. it gets stronger and thicker and more potent with time. my daughters have taken to calling it my ‘chernobyl blend,’ my version of ‘turkish prison coffee.’ at least i know i could survive most any coffee, most anywhere i may find myself, be it a prison, a truck stop, or at home in my own cottage kitchen. and that’s a life skill.
here’s wishing you a hot cup of coffee, however you most like it, wherever you may be, on this, the shortest day of the year. and if you’re in the neighborhood, stop by my cottage in the morning, for a cup of my own special blend. we’ll share a pot, and toast to the beginning of a return to the long and brighter days of sun. happy winter solstice!
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. –Abraham Lincoln
Dec20
some things never change
KEFI (Greek) – the spirit of joy, passion, enthusiasm, high spirits, or frenzy.
The custom of smashing plates is considered an expression of kefi, when the soul and body are overwhelmed with an exuberance that must find an outlet.
Dec19
indoor recess – carnival of the animals
between the dinos, the lions, and the kinders, i didn’t stand a chance. and i had a ball.
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You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. – Plato
Dec18
feliz ole?
went to buy my teaching partners a little something with a mexican flair as part of their holiday gifts. ole, ole, ole!
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when i got home, actually put my glasses on, and went to wrap their gifts, i discovered that i had bought this.
when i gave them their gifts, they were not surprised and very understanding and said it had been a rough week and maybe firewater was more what they needed anyway. this is why we work well as a team.
Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such. – Henry Miller
Dec16
where there’s a grill, there’s a way
during aussie baby f’s visit to the states, he practiced the american sport/art of x-treme winter grilling
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I grill, therefore I am. – Alton Brown
Dec15
channeling chevy chase
tire tracks in snow flying over the curb
went with one of my daughters to my favorite christmas tree lot, FLATSNOOTS, to buy my little tree. i love everything about these guys, they are always eccentric, friendly, quick, cheap, and helpful.
there was lots of new snow everywhere, and when i thought i was turning into their driveway, i was actually flying over a curb. we landed in their lot, in a parking spot, right next to their trailer. i rolled down my window, popped the trunk, and yelled out to duke, (one of the owners), ‘hey, can you toss whatever you have for $10 into my trunk?’ ‘nope. looks like you’re parked now, and that was quite an entrance. c’mon out back and we’ll see what we can find you.’
what i imagined that my car did as we entered the lot
(image credit: warner bros. pictures)
it was a typical flatsnoots shopping experience – they found me a little tree for $8, and told us to come into the trailer to warm up and pay, while they cut the bottom off of the tree. they quickly went to their mini bar, whipped out the cinnamon schnapps, and we toasted to the season, sang a song with them, and were on our way once again. i felt like we had been in a scene from ‘national lampoon’s christmas vacation.’ only better.
Discounts Remain the Same:
10% to geezers
10% to anyone who wears a sombrero
10% to anyone shorter than my friend Phil
10% to anyone who wears a sombrero
10% to anyone shorter than my friend Phil
Fine Services Available:
Valet Parking (not)
We will fresh-cut, prune & fit your tree to your stand
Tree delivery is available
Flatsnoots is a charter member of the North American Wood Tick Association *
Coolest, Funkiest, most AH-mazingly bodacious Hat wins a COOL PRIZE
Peace & Prosperity to All!, Duke
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dec14
tv. it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
way back when i found myself a young, financially challenged, single mother and extra money was not an option, i looked for ways to bond with my 3 girls that involved only a minimal outlay of cash. one of those experiences was a weekly special event we affectionately named, ‘family made for tv tabloid movie night.’
for a couple of hours, once a week, we put together a pile of junk food and sat, all in the same room, eyes rapt with wonder, as we watched a myriad of horrible films, mostly featuring ‘stars’ on the cusp of their careers, as they careened through dramas, comedies and everything in between. with poorly written scripts, acting that was an insult to the profession, and cheesy, overblown sets – we embraced it all, and sat, transfixed and transported – laughing, crying, singing, just enjoying the thrill of it all, but most of all, it was the shared company that we all remember.
Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. – Woody Allen
Dec13
performance anxiety?
when i was 7, i finally had a chance to meet one of my idols, spiderman, who happened to be at the montgomery wards store at our local mall, at the same time as i was. i saw this as fate, and i could not have been more excited, as he had been one of my idols for as long as i could remember.
waiting in line, anxious, worked up, hopping with joy, i finally made my way up to the front to meet him. i was shy, but i was motivated, and so, i asked him to ‘shoot his webs’ for me, one of my favorite superpowers i’d seen him do on tv many times, enabling him to fly from building to building, saving people, and meting out justice on the bad guys.
i will never forget his reaction in response to my quiet, but earnest request. he first just looked at me for a moment, smiled, held up his wrists, the place where the webs originated from, and then – nothing happened. it was my turn to stare at him then, and i put my head down and felt bad for him, and for me, said thank you, and just walked away, back to my family, lost in the mall crowd once again.
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Wisdom comes by disillusionment. – George Santayana
I didn't have my glasses on.... 