Category Archives: loss

ode to pretzel rod, the gentle mighty warrior, on his final odyssey.

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below is a repost, originally posted in 2016, when my grandchildren’s beloved pet, pretzel rod, embarked on a crazy near death odyssey, and lived to tell the tale. now here is an update.

June 2025 –  sadly, pretzel rod has embarked on his final odyssey to the great leopard gecko land in the universe. he will be buried in the Pretzel Rod Memorial Apple Orchard in their yard marked by his tiny house, but will be remembered forever as a peaceful warrior who survived against all odds and was a friendly and mellow dude. Happy Trails, Pretzel Rod!!

December 2016

pretzel rod, the albino leopard gecko (pre-odyssey).

 last weekend

i stayed with the grandies

while their mom and dad were out of town

and

for some reason

during the last hour i was there

the two friendly house cats

decided to make a snack out of p-rod.

i had no idea this happened until i got home and got the call:

“the cats somehow got the screen off of the top of his terrarium and ate the gecko!”

imagine how badly i felt

that the murder had happened on my watch.

grandie f had just gotten this young gecko

for his birthday 6 weeks ago and was very sad.

he had replaced pretzel,

the tiny, twisty snake who was let go in the backyard.

the next day i picked him up at school and we planned

to make a memorial stone for pretzel rod to put in the garden.

we talked for a while about love and loss and pets and nature.

imagine my surprise when i got a call late that night that he had been found!

he must have crawled into the boys’ dirty laundry

which was on their bedroom floor

to escape the cats

hid out for 24 hours

 then was scooped up

 unknowingly

 put in the washing machine

with the laundry

where he was washed, rinsed and spun.

what?!

he had survived

a feline attack

a day in smelly boy pants

fear

starvation

and

waterboarding?

he was washed, spun and rinsed

but there he was

sitting on the bottom of the washer

and after all of this, he was alive!

f yelled out over the phone:

“and he’s getting stronger by the minute!”

mom and dad said he looked rough and didn’t know if he’d make it

but he was indeed alive.

my task the next day was to get him some special treats

wax worms

(the big macs of the lizard world)

from the pet store to see if he would eat.

sure enough, he had some dinner

the first he’d eaten in a few days.

hopefully he’s on the mend

and we won’t have to go through a ‘second death’.

he looks a little lighter in color,

has some bite marks from the cats,

and doesn’t move as much

but he is alive and that is amazing.

“it is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive

but those who can best manage change.”
― leon c. megginson

time runs out.

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“It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we’d developed other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we’d worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga.

It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn’t make and the work we didn’t do the people we didn’t do and the people we didn’t marry and the children we didn’t have. It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out.

But it is not lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy.

We can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse. Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on.”

in memoriam of r.s. – you will be greatly missed and thanks for the music

credits:

text: Matt Haig – The Midnight Library, 2020.

art: Grant Haffner – Into the night, 1978

two hearts.

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yesterday

my sister let us know 

 she lost her husband

of so many years

on christmas day

in this

the same year

he lost his father

before too long

we’ll fly to her

to be together

for a remembrance and celebration of his life.

“sympathy is two hearts tugging at one load.”

-charles henry parkhurst

in remembrance.

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“in the aftermath, we are because they were.”

-r,h, heller, poet/photographer

 

 

 

photo credit: veteran’s administration

 

the art of living.

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 the littlest yeti

the bravest warrior

the sweetest brother to olive

 lived with a disease he valiantly fought

 made it to his first birthday

 filled with crazy fun and sass

left the earth as suddenly as he appeared

as yetis sometimes do. 

“all the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”

~ havelock ellis

buen dia de los muertos.

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“the life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.”
— marcus tullius cicero
image credit: prisarts

 

cousin.

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1971 –  with all my sibs and cousins – 8 of us

2021 –  2  gone too soon – missed by 6 of us

“a cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.”

-marion c. garrety

 

 

 

our last day.

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we spent our last day together

glenn frey the cat, not the rocker

olive the cat, not the oil

and me.

glenn has taken a turn for the worse

and is quickly slowing down

resting in his favorite place

with olive refusing to leave his side

the three of us

sit in the quiet

just breathing

looking out at the signs

of the seasons changing

taking in the breezes.

i think back to his multiple rescues

his funny, crazy ways

his very loud voice

how i often spelled his name wrong

how he acted tough at first

but was really such a gentle giant

how he tried to camouflage himself in the vines and flowers

how he welcomed another rescue, tiny olive

into our little family.

in the morning

there will be

just two of us left

when we return to this room

as we say farewell

to our sweet friend, glenn frey.

even the flowers are sad.