that moment when you see your pilot
looking a bit world weary
after taking a spin
on the last chance
wheel of fortune
before boarding the plane.
—
“confidence cannot find a place wherein to rest in safety.”
-virgil
while at the airport waiting for a flight to arrive
the voice of a cheerful tsa agent came on the intercom:
” attention, attention, all in the terminal!
if you are walking around
with your pants falling down around your knees
come back and see us at the tsa checkpoint,
we have your belt right where you left it!
—
i figured this guy
working a double shift this weekend
dealing with a lot of unhappy, delayed, and cancelled customers
has a boss who’s putting out fires
or off for the log off the long holiday
just wants to have fun and make the best of things
bravo.
—
“my belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up.
i don’t really know what’s happening down there.
who is the real hero?”
-mitch hedberg
Taiwan continues to cater to the needs of its travel-starved population by offering yet another aviation experience that doesn’t actually take you anywhere. Following up on an offer in July, in which the public was able to check in and board a grounded airplane in Taiwan’s Sonshan Airport, one airline has just upgraded the faux travel experience by offering an actual flight — to nowhere.
EVA Air, one of the biggest carriers in Taiwan, is offering the special journey on August 8 (Father’s Day in Taiwan) to help satisfy its customers’ travel itch. The trip will take around three hours, with the flight taking off from Taipei Taoyuan Airport, then circling the skies before returning to the same airport. If it’s a clear day, passengers will be able to take in views of several Taiwan attractions including Guishan Island and the scenic Huadong coastline, as well as other nearby islands.
Passengers will be flying on the “super popular” Hello Kitty Dream jet.The plane bears EVA Air’s special Sanrio-themed livery. An A330, it features many Sanrio characters including Hello Kitty, My Melody (Hello Kitty’s BFF), as well as Little Twin Stars’ Kiki and Lala. They can expect Hello Kitty in-flight amenities, free WiFi for texting and an inflight entertainment system that is usually reserved for long-haul flights. Inflight dining is another highlight of the trip, offering a choice of two main courses created by a 3-star Michelin chef.
The flight will be operated under flight number BR5288. Why? When spoken, it sounds like “I love dad” in Chinese. An economy class ticket is $180. Passengers can choose to upgrade their seats to business class for an additional $34.
International tourism has been effectively stopped in much of the world as countries shut their borders to stem outbreaks of Covid-19 and Taiwan is no exception. The island locked down its borders in March amid the growing coronavirus pandemic. Foreign nationals are still banned from visiting the island at this time.
—
“you know the actor, john garfield? in one movie he walked up to this train station, the ticket booth, and the guy says, “yes, where are you going?” and he says, “i want a ticket to nowhere.” i thought, that’s it. i want the freedom to do that. i want a ticket to nowhere.” -wayne shorter
—
photo and story source: cnn travel
i was in arizona, visiting my sister and her family, and we crossed the border to go bargain shopping at a market in mexico. we saw lots and lots of wonderful things for sale, but there was one item i simply could not resist. i have always been a huge fan of pinatas, and of all of the celebrations and craziness that go with them, and i saw one that topped all the others. it was a giant. life-sized, santa claus piñata. i knew right away it had to be mine. and, in the spirit of being in the open-air market, i knew i would drive a hard bargain for st. nick.
soon after, there were 5 seconds of tough negotiations that went something like this,
‘how much for that santa?’
’10 dollars and 25 cents.’
‘how about 10 dollars?
‘okay.’
i knew i had been so clever, and had gotten the bargain of a lifetime. i was so happy, and santa and i kind of walked off with a newfound swagger, as i talked about how clever i had been, how the seller didn’t know how much this gem was worth, and how clever i really was.
we drove to the airport and i checked in, proud to be carrying my new friend santa, ready to show him how we like to celebrate the winter holidays in michigan. we got lots of odd looks, smiles and questioning faces, but no matter. it was so clever, that we had ended up together, and for such a bargain price. it was at the ticket counter, however, that my ‘so clever’ bubble was quickly popped, i was told the following: ‘he’s too big to stow above, you’ll have to buy him his own seat.’ what, my $10.00 clever bargain santa would now cost me hundreds to get home??
and soon after, yet another round of intense negotiations took place:
‘okay, what are my other options?’
‘there is only one.’
‘okay.’
we found a compromise. santa could fly with the luggage in the cargo section of the plane, and i had to be willing to accept that he may not look the same upon arrival. we parted ways – him on a conveyer belt, and i walked down a long hallway. i imagined all sorts of terrible things happening to him without his clever mama watching over him, but he would have been an expensive companion to have on board.
when i landed i saw him coming around the luggage carousel, feet first, and with a toe tag on. i thought about how he looked like he was in a morgue, and i knew it had been a very rough flight for him. i picked him up, stood him upright, and as we walked away, he was not quite as jolly, and i, not quite as clever. it had been a good run of clever for both of us though, and how quickly it was over.
The desire to seem clever often keeps us from being so. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld