this may or may not be me heading out in the weather for a midnight snack
—
“keep your friends close and your snacks, closer.”
-author unknown
source credits: animal.cafe – milk and cookies
Jan18
Tag Archives: humor
Dec25
life of the party.
coco the dog
fully enjoyed the family and friends christmas eve party
and on this fine day would like to wish you all a merry christmas
and
to all a good nap.
—
“christmas is the day that holds all time together.”
-alexander smith
Dec22
a piece of work.
getting ready for the holidays
takes a bit of time
but always worth it .
i hope no one else has this same style.
—
“one should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.”
― o
—
photo credit: google vintage
Dec15
sequence.
it all began well and dandy
our school ny eve party was in the early minutes
changing out of my holiday llama pajamas
to head out for my annual doc checkup
zooming out and headed that way
until i wasn’t
when a road construction issue came into play
so i turned up the music
waited it out
zoomed off again
finally got there
just a few minutes late
jumped out of the car
opened the back door to get something out
while also somehow slamming the front door shut
quickly felt something unexpected
ah, it was my finger closed in the front door
the wrong place to be
after i stared at it for a minute
i reopened the door, moved my hand, locked in back up
and headed in
noticing that it hurt and was beginning to change color
nurse took me right away
he used to be a paramedic
while checking my vitals
i mentioned my finger
ah, they’ll probably be splinting it
my doc comes in
does my wellness interview and exam
all good
i mention the finger
she sends me for an x-ray across the hall
when i come back
she suggests i get a flu shot while waiting
mentions that the receptionist
said i wanted to set up a covid booster shot
why not get it while i’m here?
paramedic nurse guy comes back
gives me both shots
says again that they’ll probably be splinting my finger
doc comes back in
says the x-ray shows
i fractured my finger
and it’s going to need a splint
paramedic nurse gives me a nod and smile
set up appointment for another x-ray in a week
return to office in two weeks to see how it’s healing
doc calls me at home later
she reminds me
elevate, ice, motrin, splint
here i thought i was done for the year
how did this take such a turn?
sequences of events are always so fascinating when looking back.
–
“and now the sequence of events in no particular order.”
-dan rather, american newscaster
—
image credit: anne cevardi, osborn books
Dec13
channeling chevy chase.
a reblog of one of my fav christmas posts – from december 2013
tire tracks in snow flying over the curb
went with one of my daughters to my favorite christmas tree lot, FLATSNOOTS, to buy my little tree. i love everything about these guys, they are always eccentric, friendly, quick, cheap, and helpful.
there was lots of new snow everywhere, and when i thought i was turning into their driveway, i was actually flying over a curb. we landed in their lot, in a parking spot, right next to their trailer. i rolled down my window, popped the trunk, and yelled out to duke, (one of the owners), ‘hey, can you toss whatever you have for $10 into my trunk?’ ‘nope. looks like you’re parked now, and that was quite an entrance. c’mon out back and we’ll see what we can find you.’
what i imagined that my car did as we entered the lot
(image credit: warner bros. pictures)
it was a typical flatsnoots shopping experience – they found me a little tree for $8, and told us to come into the trailer to warm up and pay, while they cut the bottom off of the tree. they quickly went to their mini bar, whipped out the cinnamon schnapps, and we toasted to the season, sang a song with them, and were on our way once again. i felt like we had been in a scene from ‘national lampoon’s christmas vacation.’ only better.
Discounts Remain the Same:
10% to geezers
10% to anyone who wears a sombrero
10% to anyone shorter than my friend PhilFine Services Available:
Valet Parking (not)
We will fresh-cut, prune & fit your tree to your stand
Tree delivery is available
10% to anyone who wears a sombrero
10% to anyone shorter than my friend PhilFine Services Available:
Valet Parking (not)
We will fresh-cut, prune & fit your tree to your stand
Tree delivery is available
Flatsnoots is a charter member of the North American Wood Tick Association *
Coolest, Funkiest, most AH-mazingly bodacious Hat wins a COOL PRIZE
Peace & Prosperity to All!, Duke
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dec12
ahoy!
inside my car at the car wash
music on
relaxing
feeling that underwater seaweed or giant squid on my hood vibe
yet the highlight
is getting to the end
seeing the ‘theme’ setup in a corner –
captain’s wheel, the bluest water, navigation devices
understanding why it is called
‘the lighthouse’
performance art at its finest and my clean car is merely a bonus
it’s really an immersive sensory art experience on the cheap.
—
“told you. everything sounds better in a car wash.”
-sarah dessen
Dec5
sloth.
is it just me,
or is a ‘sloth activity’ book
an oxymoron
and probably incredibly slow and boring?
—
“the kindest word to describe my performance in school was sloth.”
-harrison ford, american actor
Dec4
white elephant.
white elephant action shot
(not meant to be artsy, more of a testament to my photographic skill level)
enjoyed a holiday party with friends
food, drink, chatter, and fun
white elephant game is always a hilarious part of this event
each and every game is different
and this year certainly did not disappoint!
—
many people participate in secret santa gift exchanges. but others like to take things a step further and plan a white elephant swap. if you aren’t familiar, white elephant is a game in which everyone brings a wrapped present, places it in a pile and draws a number to determine the order in which the participants will select gifts to unwrap. as the game progresses, people have the option to unwrap a new gift or “steal” a previously opened present.
the game can get pretty heated, so naturally it offers a lot of opportunities for twitter humor. see today’s quotes below – a sampling of tweets about this very exciting game –
A white elephant gift exchange is a great way to secretly resent someone for swiping the dollar store bath bomb you didn’t think you wanted until you were stuck with the dollar store candle.
Teen came home wearing a fluorescent alligator around her neck she won from a white elephant exchange. She’s shocked no one else wanted it.
Every time I play White Elephant, I always say I’m not gonna get too intense. But 10 minutes in, I’m already yelling at people I’ve never met. Then by the end, I’m chasing Nikita down the block, in the pouring rain, for a pair of sunglasses. I need help.
You don’t know hysteria until you’ve played White Elephant with 10 girls under 13 and a One Direction toothbrush gets in the game.
Dec3
control.
when having snow tires put on my car
had an early appointment
brought my laptop and a giant coffee
to settle in for an hour and a half or so.
while waiting
i planned to write and read and catch up on things
knowing there is always something going on
with any group of fellow ‘waiters.’
i sat at a high table to make for easy typing
most everyone else sat in the lower, more comfortable chairs
quite soon after my arrival, the ambiance changed.
on the left side in front of me
a woman sat down
in the seat next to the remote control for the tv
meant to help the time pass, amuse, and distract everyone.
she immediately took control of the controller
switching whatever channel had been on
to fox news.
the woman in the family to my right
politely asked if she would mind changing
the channel from fox to something else.
she said yes and all good
in no time
we were all watching baywatch reruns
in high def, on the big screen, 90s music pumping
those red bathing suited beauties
running on the beach, boating, emoting, doing pull-ups, rescues, looking hot, and whatnot
and david hasselhoff, the hoff.
the workers at the tire store desk were mesmerized
some young enough to never have seen it before
some old enough to have had the poster and remembering.
i refilled my coffee
the channel was not changed again
throughout my entire (now 2 hour), wait.
new customers coming in had mixed reactions
what an early holiday surprise!
“of all men’s miseries the bitterest is this: to know so much and to have control over nothing.”
-herodotus
Nov29
zeal.
the dentist gave me this bag
when i left her office today
i think she was really happy
that i didn’t cry.
i displayed it proudly.
—
“we do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.”
-joseph heller
I didn't have my glasses on.... 