Tag Archives: life

Dec13

performance anxiety?

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when i was 7, i finally had a chance to meet one of my idols, spiderman, who happened to be at the montgomery wards store at our local mall, at the same time as i was. i saw this as fate, and i could not have been more excited, as he had been one of my idols for as long as i could remember.

waiting in line, anxious, worked up, hopping with joy, i finally made my way up to the front to meet him. i was shy, but i was motivated, and so, i asked him to ‘shoot his webs’ for me, one of my favorite superpowers i’d seen him do on tv many times, enabling him to fly from building to building, saving people, and meting out justice on the bad guys. 

i will never forget his reaction in response to my quiet, but earnest request. he first just looked at me for a moment, smiled, held up his wrists, the place where the webs originated from, and then – nothing happened. it was my turn to stare at him then, and i put my head down and felt bad for him, and for me, said thank you, and just walked away, back to my family, lost in the mall crowd once again. 

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Wisdom comes by disillusionment. – George Santayana

Dec11

kind of ironic –

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that she understood this, while many people with the gift of sight, do not, but she was the one with the true sense of vision.

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Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.

Helen Keller

 

Dec10

yes, we are up. we are ready for the day. what?

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babies j and b ready to roll.

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My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style. – Unknown quote

Dec9

happy birthday with notes from my heart

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happy birthday to my eldest daughter who lives in a very different time zone and place and across the seas and over the lands and on the other side of the international date line and below the equator and in another hemisphere. as far away as we physically are from each other, our letters – long and flowery, on beautiful papers,  or short and scribbled on scraps, or captions made on things to note, using pens and pencils and markers and paint and crayons and cut-outs and news, are one of the things that keep us so close.

today, i think of you and picture you opening the letter that i have written for you to celebrate this very special day. and who knows? one day, you may even look into your rolling ocean and see a bottle bobbing there, or look to your blue sky and see a balloon tied to a note, or turn to a colorful bird, sitting atop a lovely flower in your front yard, holding an envelope in its bill, or watch a kangaroo jump towards you with a packet emerging from its pouch, and know there is a message in there, from me to you, just waiting for you to open –

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More than kisses, letters mingle souls. – John Donne

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Dec8

shhhhh….

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being a great lover of people, and the human story, and most all that is life, and even though i have always been a bit on the shy side, i have never thought of myself as an introvert. that is, until i heard susan cain speaking about her book on npr. in her book, ‘quiet’, she describes the differences between introverts and extroverts, and the challenges that come with being an introvert and living in a world that celebrates the latter. 

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what really hit home for me were  some of the many examples she gave: feeling most comfortable with just a few close people rather than in large groups, making things happen behind the scenes rather than in front, in a quiet way, and most of all – the need to recharge oneself by spending some time in solitary pursuits after being a part of the goings-on of the world around us. in all of her research and all of her descriptions of both types of people, i found myself to clearly be an introvert.

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as children, parents are told to help their child to overcome these traits, and children are told them need to speak up and be ‘like the others’  in this area. why not accept that some people are quiet and some are more vocal, and that both are okay and are needed in the world?  to exhibit introverted traits, goes against most teachings about how to be ‘successful’ in the world, in pursuits such as business or politics, among many others, and it takes a bit of time for some to accept that things can be done in other ways.

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 introverts tend to be very adept at reading people and situations, as they most-often stand back and take it all in, listening to their intuition, and become very attuned to the small details of humanity. they spend time reflecting, pondering and considering things. they learn that huge things can be accomplished in small, quiet ways. i am always learning, about the world, about the people within it, and about myself, and will spend quiet time today reflecting upon all of this. 

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Dec7

be the wonder

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with my class, discovering a small bit of the world, so huge and all new to them, on a beautiful fall day

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The process of scientific discovery is, in effect, a continual flight from wonder. – Albert Einstein

 

Dec4

as it is written

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even now, at not yet age 2, it is easy to see that baby j is born to be a lover and not a fighter

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Every dance is a kind of fever chart, a graph of the heart.

Martha Graham

 

 

 

 

Dec2

it’s monday. it’s cold outside. i’m ready. bring it.

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alaláw (Quechua) – an exclamation that people say when they feel cold (it is pretty close to “brrr!” though it’s more fun to say and more expressive); also, people say it when they hear someone describe a cold place, even if they are not cold at that moment themselves.

 

Nov30

the message is clear

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out with baby b on a shopping adventure. there is love in those eyes. 

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“To live in hearts we leave behind, is not to die.” —Thomas Campbell

Nov28

looking back at the thanksgiving parade as it keeps marching on ahead

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back in my advertising days, america’s thanksgiving parade in detroit was one of our clients. as i watch it this morning, i have many memories, both fond, and some, not so much:

– spending all night on thanksgiving eve, in the parade warehouse and in the cold out on woodward avenue as the floats rolled out and news affiliates wanted live shots

– media fighting for best position for the event

– driving golf carts down our usually packed busy roads, no cars allowed during set up, surveying the situation, and getting such a very cool and different view

– chasing a news anchor through a scary neighborhood the night before, as he sped his way towards the scene with his cameraman, drunk and angry he had to work, got a flat tire and i just kept going, local homeless guy kindly helped me with my tire and i jumped out , ran to the street and got the live shot just in time

– having the 4 tops as a float attraction, though only 3 were still alive and hoping no one would notice, then 1 of the 3 went on a bender, was lost somewhere in detroit and pulled up in a limo, in his clothes from the night before, just as the parade was about to begin

– cinderella got the flu just as she was getting in her costume to ride in her carriage, had to have an intern fill in

– giant balloon untethering itself and flying across the border to our friends in canada

– communication source, walkie talkies and radios going out, trying to make decisions based on a ‘best guess’ approach

– volunteers getting ‘fired’ by an ego-driven person at the top, for not being ‘camera-worthy,’ having to put a positive p.r. spin on this 

–  celebrities, bands, clowns, animals, law enforcement, athletes, characters, charity events, music, lost children, artists, contests, security, parking, coaches, costumes, twirlers, technology, floats, marchers, bad weather, live tv, and the crowd – somehow it all went off no matter what did or didn’t happen behind the scenes. as crazy and sleep depriving and dizzying as it was, i loved it all (now that i am looking back and watching it from the warmth of a living room, drinking coffee, and just taking it all in from a cozy couch.) happy thanksgiving to all.

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   If you’re not in the parade, you watch the parade. That’s life.  – Mike Ditka