Tag Archives: dating

Aug22

love and cheese.

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so exciting to have found a new approach to dating and romance

i feel pretty sure this method will be the winner!

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Notes: TYROMANCY: The use of cheese as a divination tool was known in the ancient world and the Middle Ages, although the details aren’t very well-recorded. Some say the shapes of the holes in the cheeses were thought to hold meaning—a heart shape could indicate love, and certain holes could be read as initials. Women in the countryside would predict future husbands by writing the names of suitors on pieces of cheese. The first to mold was believed to be the ideal mate. It may be worth noting, however, that the Greek diviner Artemidorus did not feel that cheese divination was very reliable, and included cheese diviners among his list of “false diviners,” alongside dice diviners, sieve-diviners, and necromancers. (The interpretation of dreams and livers was far more dependable, he felt.)

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“i pondered what else I should take for him. flowers seemed wrong; they’re a love token, after all.

I looked in the fridge, and popped a packet of cheese slices into the bag. all men like cheese.” 

-gail honeyman, eleanor oliphant is completely fine

May19

and cut…..

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 in honor of the 10th anniversary of this film, made here in ann arbor, i’m reposting this blog from my past.

ever had one of those days? the ones that take a funny turn?

i picked up a movie from the library recently, ‘the five year engagement,’ and when i saw the cover, i remembered that i had almost been in it. by accident. really.

it was the summer and i’d walked downtown to meet my date. when i got to one of my favorite local townie spots where we’d planned to meet, i noticed there was a barricade, some roadie types, a sound system and all sorts of equipment set up outside. having lived here for more than a decade, i knew there was always a festival, parade or protest popping up, so none of this surprised me. it  could easily have been for a street dance, a car show, or god knows what else, so i simply stepped over and around everything, and walked on in.

once inside, i looked around, it was a bit dark and hazy and didn’t see him there yet, so i sat down at an open table. while waiting, i noticed that something about the place looked different than it normally did, but i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. i then got a phone call from my date, asking where i was, and when i told him i was already where we’d planned to meet, he said he’d arrived, but couldn’t get in because it was closed off to the public, as they were shooting a movie there. and he wondered how i had gotten in.

ah – that’s when it all made sense and it dawned on me. i had unwittingly walked right into the middle of a movie set. i thought it was awfully dark for being the daytime, and things were moved around, and i heard someone yelling out something, but figured it was a bartender, and thought maybe they’d redone the place, trying to go a bit more upscale. i loved it just the way it had been though, a cozy, casual, old-school, welcoming place. all this went through my mind quickly and then i remembered, they’d been shooting in various locations around town for some weeks now, but it never occurred to me that i had crashed their party. i was suddenly an accidental extra.

i’m sure the only reason they let me on set in the first place, was because i’d ambled on into it like i was supposed to be there, (and i thought i was), so no one stopped me. and i was dressed like a townie, (since i was a real one), so i fit right in.

we laughed out loud on each end of the phone as i shared my revelation, and i casually got up and walked off the set and into the daylight once more, as if i was walking to my personal production trailer, only to find my date waiting in another location. where they were NOT in the middle of shooting a scene for a movie.

when i picked up the dvd at the library, a part of me somehow hoped to see myself in that scene, but not surprisingly, i was nowhere to be found, other than somewhere on the cutting room floor, perhaps.

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“acting in’Star Wars’ I felt like a raisin in a giant fruit salad,

and I didn’t even know who the cantaloupes were.”

– Mark Hamill

image credits: universal studios, old town bar

 

Sep3

pda. (pandemic dating adventures)

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it’s been an adventure to say the least. 

(not saying who is who, but we unmasked for the photo)

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“dating isn’t just about dating anymore. you are picking your potential apocalypse partner. choose wisely, folks.” 

-word porn

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image credit: google images

Jun28

naked? with gravy? with ketchup?

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the more time i spend in the “always interesting” world of online dating, the more i’m amazed by the many options and specialized sites that appear. npr recently featured the latest in michigan dating sites: yooper. singles.com.

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for those of you not familiar with the state of michigan, it’s made up of two peninsulas. the lower peninsula, and the more remote and rustic, upper peninsula. the upper peninsula (u.p.), is where the ‘yoopers’ live. originally settled by the native americans, and later the cornish and finns who came to work in the mining and logging industry, they have their own dialect, and have tried off and on to become their own state. much to their dismay, they are still a part of our state as of this posting.

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one of the food mainstays for these hardy working people were pocket sandwiches/pies known as pasties. filled with root veggies, and with or without meat or fish, a pasty is considered an art form in the u.p., with recipes passed on through generations.

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and just like people from every culture all over the world, yoopers are on the universal quest for love. thus, their site was born, and just like every other dating site, it has its own slant, target demographic, and set of parameters. to register you’re required to answer a series of questions only a yooper would love:

a) how do you prefer your pasty served?

naked, with ketchup, with gravy

b) favorite color?

carharrt tan, real tree camo, duct tape grey

c) interests?

wearing plaid, bear wrestling, outdoor snow activities, chopping wood, home brewing

d) favorite great lake?

and then there’s the pitch:

At Yooper Singles we will match you with a quality Yooper.  Each of our members is looking for a long lasting connection, that’s deeper than Lake Superior.  Every year, dozens of  single Yoopers seek love in the vast forests of the Upper Peninsula and along the beaches of the Great Lakes.  Yooper Steez pioneered the dating industry in the Upper Peninsula by launching Yooper Singles and within days, YS has served as many as eighteen Yoopers, across all fifteen Upper Peninsula counties. We continue to redefine the way single Yoopers meet, flirt, date and share pasties, proving time and again that you can make love happen in the Upper Peninsula and that lasting relationships are possible. Our members aren’t only serious about finding flannel, saunas, and pasties, they also seek love. Yooper Singles puts you in control of your love life; meeting that special Yooper and forming a lasting relationship, where you can live happily ever after … in a log cabin. Whether you’re interested in Lumberjack Dating, Fisherman Dating, Finnish Dating, Native American Dating, or just finding someone to share your venison with, we can help you find the date or relationship that fits you best. Search free through all of our online personals. Literally, dozens of single Yoopers in your area have posted their dating profiles on Yooper Singles.  Young and old alike, bearded and not, from everywhere around the world, there is a Yooper waiting for you. Find your Yooper today!

and the reviews:

I have finally found my lifetime sauna partner — Toivo

Thanks, for helping me find my lumberjack— Jane

love, eh?

maybe i’ve been looking on the wrong peninsula?

i do really love the great lakes and pasties and accents.

still not sure about the bear wrestling though.

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Right now, I’m as single as a slice of American cheese.
Nick Cannon

credits: npr/stateside, yooper.singles.com, michigan pasties

Mar23

the french disconnection

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my boyfriend was an irish canadian, true and true, funny, and smart, and creative, and happy – a footloose and friendly graduate student and just what i needed at the time. i’d just been divorced, and we’d met in the states, he was my roommate’s cousin, here for a family visit. we’d planned to all go to an american baseball game together, but it was rained out, so he and i sat up all night, watching old movies, talking and laughing. he was kind of a cross between david letterman and tom hanks, with a bad boy streak, and i fell in love with him immediately. the first time i went to visit him in his hometown of ottawa, i was both a bit nervous and excited to see him. on our first day there, he took me to the beautiful town of hull, in quebec. 

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we rented a car and drove to a little neighborhood bar in the middle of town. once there, we were celebrating my visit with a few adult beverages and having a great time, and i began to spread my cheer around a bit and chat up the locals. having taken french in school for a number of years, it somehow all came back quickly, and i became amazingly more ‘fluent’ in direct correlation to the number of drinks i had. (l’alcohol math de francais theory)

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i talked to everyone around me and soon was engaged in deep conversation with a local motorcycle rider.

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we were having a ball, people were very friendly, and i was sure they could understand my french clearly.  at some point, i even felt comfortable enough to take the motorcycle guy’s sunglasses off of his head and wear them myself, after asking him in french if it was okay. he responded to me in french with words that i had not heard in all my classes, and after my boyfriend spoke a bit of french back to him, i gave him back his glasses. we all smiled and said our goodbyes, and we decided it was probably a good time to head home.

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we got into our car and as soon as we had driven 100 feet, we made a quick stop.

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we were suddenly surrounded by a huge pack of police.

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we were told to get out of the car with our hands up, and i wondered just what he was into that i hadn’t known about. i began to imagine all sorts of scenarios, he was really an international drug dealer, a gun runner, a smuggler, a spy?, and i told them i didn’t understand, as i did not speak a word of french.

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once out of the car, they told me to put my shoes back on, as i was now barefoot for some reason, and ordered us to open the trunk and step back. i imagined there would be some contraband, a body – god knows what. i looked at him and wondered just who i had really become involved with. after a thorough search, and a questioning of each of us, they determined that we were not criminals after all, and explained that they’d had been staking us out for the last 2 hours while we were at the bar celebrating and speaking french, and that we had rented the exact make and model and color of a car that had been recently involved in a local armed robbery. they apologized profusely for the inconvenience and advised us to drive carefully. 

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ADIEU!

i said goodbye to the police and we got back in our car to head out and talk about what an eventful day it had been. i took my shoes off once again and then we laughed until we cried all of the way back to his house. in english, i told him that i had believed he was a clever felon for just a bit, and in french, we told each other that we loved one another. as long as we dated, it never failed to be an adventure. right up until the day we said goodbye. and we remain friends. 

 I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde

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image credits: rcmp, tumblr.com, wikipedia, moviesmakeover.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jan8

slip sliding away –

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Slip sliding away, slip sliding away – You know the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away  – paul simon

and yes, it’s another polar vortex day at home, and yes, i have yet another personal tale of slip sliding away. 

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this one involved a first date. it was back when i was a cocktail waitress, working at a hotel, putting myself through school, a single mother, not sleeping a lot, and without much of a nightlife other than work. he was one of our regular customers, friendly, quiet, always alone, polite, settled in his life. a one-beer kind of man. 

on our big night out, we went to dinner and then to my hotel’s employee holiday party. he knew all of the staff and so it was relaxed and easy for both of us. after some socializing, and one or three cocktails, we left for the night,.

 i didn’t know that while we were busy being social inside, the temperature had dropped, and it had gotten icy outside. i was all dressed up in heels and pearls and big hair and skirt, and feeling quite happy and pretty. as we got to the parking lot, i slid on a patch of black ice near the passenger side, and somehow ended up partially beneath his car. he quickly jumped in to help me out from under it, and back up on my feet, and i was absolutely beside myself in tears, not from any injury, but from laughing so hard. and i could not stop laughing, as the only thing hurt was my pride. 

 after looking up at his face, and seeing that he was not laughing along with me, i said, ‘i was just checking your muffler,’ thinking it might help him to  relax into the situation a bit. he just looked back at me with a poker face, asked me if i was okay, quietly opened my door, and helped me into his car. he never even cracked a smile, or made a comment, and instead, acted as if nothing unusual had just happened. he was a ‘perfect gentleman’ by some standards.

 i instantly realized this had been an unexpected gift from the universe, a sort of litmus test of his approach to life and relationships. i knew that we were not a good match. i knew that we lived life differently. i knew that i would smile and say, ‘hi’ when he came in to the hotel the next time, and we would speak nothing of it. i knew why he felt more comfortable being there alone. i knew it was to be our first and last date.

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 “Some accidents there are in life that a little folly is necessary to help us out of.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 

 

 

Oct19

why i am still single #7

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and the online dating prospects continue…. (this one was quite a challenge for me not to follow up on, as he clearly knows what he does and does not want )

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A little about me…

 I worked for 15 years and my position was cut. I am not a lazy person but like to relax.

I don’t need a pen pal. I think after one week of writing each other we should meet in person and see if we are going to go our separate ways.

About the one I’m looking for…

 I am looking for someone that likes to go up north in a small town doing nothing but have fun. 

I’d just like to add…

 If your picture is not recent please do not contact me. I am not looking for anyone older than 54. I am not into long distance relationships that will lead to nothing but phone sex.  If I wanted a female pen pal I would write to a prison inmate.  I am not prejudice.