Tag Archives: humor

Dec14

tv. it’s not just for breakfast anymore.

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way back when i found myself a young, financially challenged, single mother and extra money was not an option, i looked for ways to bond with my 3 girls that involved only a minimal outlay of cash. one of those experiences was a weekly special event we affectionately named, ‘family made for tv tabloid movie night.’

for a couple of hours, once a week, we put together a pile of junk food and sat, all in the same room, eyes rapt with wonder, as we watched a myriad of horrible films, mostly featuring ‘stars’ on the cusp of their careers, as they careened through dramas, comedies and everything in between. with poorly written scripts, acting that was an insult to the profession, and cheesy, overblown sets – we embraced it all, and sat, transfixed and transported – laughing, crying, singing,  just enjoying the thrill of it all, but most of all, it was the shared company that we all remember. 

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Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. – Woody Allen

 

 

 

Dec13

performance anxiety?

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when i was 7, i finally had a chance to meet one of my idols, spiderman, who happened to be at the montgomery wards store at our local mall, at the same time as i was. i saw this as fate, and i could not have been more excited, as he had been one of my idols for as long as i could remember.

waiting in line, anxious, worked up, hopping with joy, i finally made my way up to the front to meet him. i was shy, but i was motivated, and so, i asked him to ‘shoot his webs’ for me, one of my favorite superpowers i’d seen him do on tv many times, enabling him to fly from building to building, saving people, and meting out justice on the bad guys. 

i will never forget his reaction in response to my quiet, but earnest request. he first just looked at me for a moment, smiled, held up his wrists, the place where the webs originated from, and then – nothing happened. it was my turn to stare at him then, and i put my head down and felt bad for him, and for me, said thank you, and just walked away, back to my family, lost in the mall crowd once again. 

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Wisdom comes by disillusionment. – George Santayana

Dec10

yes, we are up. we are ready for the day. what?

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babies j and b ready to roll.

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My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style. – Unknown quote

Dec4

as it is written

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even now, at not yet age 2, it is easy to see that baby j is born to be a lover and not a fighter

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Every dance is a kind of fever chart, a graph of the heart.

Martha Graham

 

 

 

 

Dec2

it’s monday. it’s cold outside. i’m ready. bring it.

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alaláw (Quechua) – an exclamation that people say when they feel cold (it is pretty close to “brrr!” though it’s more fun to say and more expressive); also, people say it when they hear someone describe a cold place, even if they are not cold at that moment themselves.

 

Dec1

life’s little canvas

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baby v displays her self-portrait

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It has been said that art is a tryst, for in the joy of it, maker and beholder meet.  ~Kojiro Tomita

Nov28

looking back at the thanksgiving parade as it keeps marching on ahead

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back in my advertising days, america’s thanksgiving parade in detroit was one of our clients. as i watch it this morning, i have many memories, both fond, and some, not so much:

– spending all night on thanksgiving eve, in the parade warehouse and in the cold out on woodward avenue as the floats rolled out and news affiliates wanted live shots

– media fighting for best position for the event

– driving golf carts down our usually packed busy roads, no cars allowed during set up, surveying the situation, and getting such a very cool and different view

– chasing a news anchor through a scary neighborhood the night before, as he sped his way towards the scene with his cameraman, drunk and angry he had to work, got a flat tire and i just kept going, local homeless guy kindly helped me with my tire and i jumped out , ran to the street and got the live shot just in time

– having the 4 tops as a float attraction, though only 3 were still alive and hoping no one would notice, then 1 of the 3 went on a bender, was lost somewhere in detroit and pulled up in a limo, in his clothes from the night before, just as the parade was about to begin

– cinderella got the flu just as she was getting in her costume to ride in her carriage, had to have an intern fill in

– giant balloon untethering itself and flying across the border to our friends in canada

– communication source, walkie talkies and radios going out, trying to make decisions based on a ‘best guess’ approach

– volunteers getting ‘fired’ by an ego-driven person at the top, for not being ‘camera-worthy,’ having to put a positive p.r. spin on this 

–  celebrities, bands, clowns, animals, law enforcement, athletes, characters, charity events, music, lost children, artists, contests, security, parking, coaches, costumes, twirlers, technology, floats, marchers, bad weather, live tv, and the crowd – somehow it all went off no matter what did or didn’t happen behind the scenes. as crazy and sleep depriving and dizzying as it was, i loved it all (now that i am looking back and watching it from the warmth of a living room, drinking coffee, and just taking it all in from a cozy couch.) happy thanksgiving to all.

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   If you’re not in the parade, you watch the parade. That’s life.  – Mike Ditka

 

 

 

 

Nov27

look out, it’s coming!

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in honor of american thanksgiving day, due to hit the states tomorrow, i offer you the ‘thanksgiving drinking game,’ courtesy of buzz feed, in hopes this will keep a smile on your face, no matter how challenging the day may be. happy holiday to all – enjoy )

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http://www.buzzfeed.com/joannaborns/thanksgiving-drinking-game

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“She who has no fools, knaves, or beggars in her family was begot by a flash of lightning.” —Old English Proverb

Nov26

family tree-oh!

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photo i love of my great great grandfather (right), his ‘man friday’ (left), and an unaccounted for cousin of some sort (center). taken in glasgow, scotland many years ago. wondering what the story of this photo is, and which of the 3 i most resemble? 

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“Why waste your time and money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponents will do it for you!” —Mark Twain

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“The family. We were a strange little band of characters drudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms … and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.” —Erma Bombeck

Nov24

crashing into kindness

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 with the day’s sudden onset of a 7 minute mini white-out,  a few slick portions appeared on the local roads. soon after this winter-tease display tossed out by mother nature, i happened to encounter one of these slick spots firsthand. it was on a little bridge leading back from the library towards my cottage.  

‘black ice’ is a phenomenon known to those in the northern climates – innocent looking, shiny, invisible, traction-less, and extraordinarily slippery. this was the day that black ice and i crossed paths on the bridge, and as i tried to brake, my car continued to move forward, and i slammed smack into the car stopped right in front of me. 

after the crash, we drove ahead and popped out of our cars to assess the damage.  i was happily surprised to find that we were both fine, and that our cars had somehow each suffered nothing more than a scratch on our bumpers. 

the extraordinary surprise came when i soon realized that i had smashed into one of the happiest, friendliest, people on the planet. he was smiling, and kind, and calm, said he was happy nothing bad had happened, he understood why it happened, and that it had happened to him before.  i apologized profusely and he shook his head telling me not worry about it at all. 

he gave me his card, and as we talked, i found that we both work with young children. he, working with children in the foster care system, pursuing a masters in social work to continue helping in that field, and me, with my kinders, trying to teach them about life. he told me to keep in touch, that we may be able to help the children in some way, or who knows?  it was just like crashing into santa claus in his sleigh. and with a jolly chuckle and a wave goodbye, we were both off on our way once again, and felt somehow better for having met. 

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The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances  – Aristotle