Tag Archives: keys

lock ‘er up and throw away the key.

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not me , but exactly like me holding my keys in my hands just before i helped them to go missing
(and this baby is smart to just be focusing on one thing at a time)
and yet another
multi-task seemed like a good idea mishap unfolds
carrying trash, two sets of keys, donation bag, library book, coffee cup, dvd, lists,
and an odd assortment of things
to drop off, return, or deal with on my other random errands
determined to make one trip
i did get out the door
things balanced, hanging from wrists and various fingers
dropped trash bag in the dumpster first
 unlocked my car using my left pinky
threw everything in the backseat
drove off and finished all of my tasks
happy to be getting rid of things i no longer needed
bringing in groceries and new things i didn’t know that i needed
again, everything balanced
determined to get back in my door in one trip
tiptoed through the garden shortcut
made it in with all intact
put everything away and went to get the mail
sadly
my second set of keys was nowhere to be found
which included my mailbox key
searched and went through everything
retraced my steps
(as i learned to do from bert and ernie on sesame street)
looked in all of the hidden under-seat and in-between places in my car
figured keys would pop up somewhere in the next day or so
but alas, it was not to be
by process of elimination of all other possibilities
came to the conclusion
they must have fallen into the trash bag
that i threw away in the dumpster
 unretrievable
so i began the process of replacing them
my second car key was on there
i’d just listed my car for sale, with two keys
too expensive to replace
changed that detail in my ad
my mailbox only opens by key
can only be replaced by the post office
went to two post offices
each handled a part of it
had to pay $45 and have one of their people
come out, re-key it, and create a new key
my mail carrier who is great
left a massive pile of mail from the week
hidden on my front porch for me
why did i even have a massive pile of. mail?
key fixer guy came the next day
gave me three keys
need to get the padlock on my storage unit
cut off and replaced
mail restored, ad changed, buy padlock
next up
one job, focused, on task, slowly
figuring out
if there were any other important keys on that ring.
‘some people think my father was a spy, because of working for that government agency in vietnam,
but he can’t find his car keys, much less keep a national secret.’
*lauren graham, american actress
besides having startle response, and technology being my nemesis, another reason i opted not to be a spy.

*Lauren’s father, Lawrence Graham, was a candy industry lobbyist, president of the National Confectioners Association and worked for the United States Agency for International Development in Vietnam. (seems like a pretty good spy cover to me)

photo credit of smart baby with keys: google images

scream.

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my key fob missing its insides and screaming.

me looking for the insides of my key fob and screaming.

went to have coffee with my friend

locked up my car

put my key in my pocket

when i returned to the car

all i had left of my electronic key

was the empty screaming shell pictured above 

insides were nowhere to be found 

used the key/shell in the car door 

and the panic button screamed nonstop

with no electronics to turn it off

 until my car started

each and every time

a bit dumbfounded

as key fob was still in one piece

in my pocket

found a tiny screw missing in back

somehow it had

unscrewed itself

fallen out

opened itself up 

insides popped out

closed itself back up

and was empty 

like it never happened

interesting scenario

luckily i have daughters

with my keys all over the place

and my car has stopped screaming 

but my old key fob still looks upset. 


“the universe is like a safe to which there is a combination.

but the combination is locked up in the safe.”

-peter de vrie

credit: edvard munch – the scream

key.

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key.

a trio of kinders, a ring of keys, a door to our classroom….

“optimism is the key.”

-will champion

i feel like i am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. ~author unknown

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welcome-1

the email came

guess-timating

how many miles

i had on my car

 they were spot on

within 200 miles

inviting me in

for an oil change

a winterizing

a check up

asking

would you like coffee

will you need wi-fi

a ride home

a loaner

or

spend time here with us

while we

pamper your car

and you

and

i was half expecting

 a massage

 a mani/pedi

i took

the earliest appointment

on my day off

with plans

to head off

to do all the things

i’d been wanting to do

i drove up

and

the door opened for my car

welcoming me in

to the dealership

with a warm embrace

and they asked what they could do

 took me to the comforting area to wait

gave me coffee

and

wi-fi

and

cable

and

magazines

and

cushiony chairs

and

the company of just one other

pampered customer

a man of about my age

and we each

went about our morning

waiting in comfort

until

they realized

his car

was going to take too long

 so he took a rental

and

headed out

  half an hour

later

 the service advisor

came

 knelt down by my chair

i felt

there was possibly

a bit of bad news coming

 she

whispered

i don’t know how this happened

 i looked at her

as she said

that man

who was sitting here with you

has just left with your keys

 we don’t know why

this has never happened

ever

in the history

of our dealership

and

we can’t

get ahold of him

i’m so sorry

we’re not sure

why he’d take your keys

since he was taking a rental

 even if

he thought those were his keys

we’d need them to work on his car

that he left behind

slate.com

we just can’t understand it

we apologize

we can drive you

all of the places you need to go

or

give you a loaner

and

when we get your keys back

 we will

we’ll deliver your car

with your keys

to your house

or

you can wait a bit

and

see what happens

with more coffee

i chose

the waiting option

and

i do enjoy my subaru family

but really didn’t want to

spend the whole day with them

 doing errands

having lunch

and

i wanted to see

what would happen

why

he was not answering

his phone

his email

the texts

i wanted

to know

his story

 i imagined him

working out with at my gym

using the id on my keys

then at my house

dancing with nacho the cat and his cat friends

daily mail.co.uk

and

drinking a glass of my pinot noir

 reading my magazines

listening to my music

while taking a bubble bath

in my tub

getty images

and

they came in again

 said they still

couldn’t reach him

do you want to wait

with

more coffee

more comfort

 a while later

he called

 said he had no idea

why he took the keys

and

he didn’t

want to see me

but

apologized profusely

and

came back

and

they pulled up my car at last

washed

all free service

apologies

thank you’s

for

being understanding

no explanation

and

the wish for a good day

and i was off

once again

wondering

would the tub be drained

when i finally got home?

2a0e68703df592fbea0c3d26ceb8de93

one cannot plan for the unexpected.
– aaron klug

images courtesy of: google images