try as he might

my colleague was not able to convince anyone

to steal from him

or trade with him

 for this monstrosity of a white elephant gift 

that he randomly chose

at our faculty holiday party

it was as huge as a shield, very heavy, and not the most beautiful

(even said on the back that it was microwaveable,

but would not come anywhere near fitting

into any microwave i’ve ever seen,

and was edged in metal)

but we did laugh about it the entire time

and that is certainly worth something. 

‘the manner of giving is worth more than the gift.’      

-pierre corneille