Category Archives: humor
when opportunity does not knock.
not my house or cats, but i get them.
—
when you are having
a private informal window of opportunity urgent under the radar ad hoc committee meeting
there is a quorum
someone opens the closed door and peers in
odds are incredibly high
this is the same person
who is the subject of the meeting.
—
“you can’t knock on opportunity’s door and not be ready. “
-bruno mars
—
image credit: google images
abstract mess.
getting ready in the morning
i made a quick decision
to throw one light piece of laundry
down the stairs
rather than carry the extra three ounces
down seven stairs to my washing machine
tucked away in a little closet
such a brilliantly lazy choice
i instantly realized my mistake
when it caught on a piece of art
hanging along the stairway
ripping it off the wall
sending it reeling
into another wall
creating a divot
the art tile on the wood
cracking in two
the nail lost deep in the carpeting
went down the seven stairs
now easy
with three ounces less
than i would have had to carry
stepping over it all
walked into my kitchen
flipping on the light
which answered me with a sudden ‘pop!’
a lightbulb had chosen that moment to blow out
i took in the spectacle of it all
sat down with a cup of coffee, a piece of chocolate, and a bit of music
another day had begun.
—
‘i think you have to let go of this idea that you can be precious about everything,
and let it be the abstract mess that it is.’
-ryan reynolds
sunny spirit.
i love their sense of humor about this
despite the entire town
being under construction
enduring random outages
having traffic-related ‘disturbances’
their coffee place is open
still standing
it’s up to you
to creatively find your way there
the coffee is damn good and worth the odyssey.
—
“humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. the minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield,
all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.”
-mark twain
—
image credit: roos roast coffee
when bobby calls.
‘with a doughnut in each hand, anything is possible.’ – jameela jamil
it’s a big decision, take your time.
—
national donut day is celebrated on the first friday of june. established by the salvation army in 1938 to honor the “donut lassies” — women who served donuts (originally a European delicacy) to hungry american soldiers duringWW I. once they returned home, american soldiers longed for the donuts they had overseas. they grew increasingly popular in the u.s., and americans have been loving donuts ever since.
—
“do-not touch my donut.”
-me
—
image credit: washtenaw dairy
just peachy.
a look back, it’s that time of year again, and some things never change –
how to clean your entire kitchen while trying to prepare a 1-minute healthy and guilt-free breakfast
1. since peaches are not quite in season yet, take a bag of frozen peaches out of freezer to defrost in fridge, go to sleep dreaming of healthy breakfast smoothie
2. take peaches out of fridge on the next day to chop up and create delicious and guilt-free smoothie
3. notice the fridge shelf below bag is a bit sticky
4. notice the bag has leaked (even though it’s unopened), while defrosting
5. take everything off of sticky shelf
6. notice peach juice has leaked to the back of the shelf and hardened into a solid gel
7. take out giant sticky shelf and place in sink
8. turn on hot water to melt off hardened peach juice gel
9. notice peach juice has dripped down into fridge drawers below where the shelf was
10. take out drawers
11. say a few things back to fridge that is now incessantly beeping due to door being ajar too long
12. feel my feet getting wet and turn back to sink
13. notice hot water running on shelf placed in sink is somehow flowing over it and onto counter and beyond
14. notice water has also flowed into junk drawer and cupboards below counter while on its way to the floor
15. slide on floor as i turn off water, pull out junk drawer, empty it, throw away things that are waterlogged
16. empty cupboards below, dry out everything, grab beach towels to clean up floor
17. turn back to fridge, still beeping, notice bottom of fridge has peach juice on it also, now that drawers have been removed
18. get more towels, empty entire fridge, wash and dry everything, replace shelves and drawers and contents, wash and dry floor
16. cut open peach bag, notice the peaches are now dried out due to lack of juice. put them in a bowl. add whipped cream. back to healthy eating plan tomorrow.
17. notice one ant milling around, sensing a dot of sticky peach nectar somewhere.
cuckoo.
when we walked into a store
filled with nothing but cuckoo clocks
i really had to wonder
how long would it take before this made the workers a bit cuckoo?
who has to reset them all and keep them running?
do they dream of the little birds popping out, and little people dancing in a circle?
do they hear the sounds every 15 minutes even when not working?
do they use their employee discount to buy clocks for their homes?
do they have any long term employees?
do they give you a cuckoo clock when you retire?
—
‘since both of its national products, snow and chocolate, melt,
the cuckoo clock was invented
solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.’
-alan coren
everything is funny.
if you want to smile
possibly even laugh out loud
spend 40 seconds
watching the clip below
i dare you not to guffaw.
https://x.com/buitengebieden/status/1787924727052251191
—
‘everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to someone else.’
-will rogers
unexpected places.
just curious
when waking up in the morning
at my friend’s house
why there was a large frying pan
on the bottom shelf of the nightstand
next to where i had been sleeping?
was this a hint that i was expected to chef our breakfast?
was this a self-defense weapon to use as needed?
had someone forgotten where they set down their pan?
had someone gone on a late-night eating in bed food bender?
when i inquired, one answered:
‘oh, is that the one that is usually hanging in the closet?’
what, there’s one usually hanging in the closet?
another answered:
‘what frying pan?’
host woke up and said,
‘ i was going to give that one away.’
oh, of course.
that’s the perfect place to leave it to remember to give it away.
i loved waking up with a surprise, a mystery, and a smile.
(and there really was an even larger frying pan hanging in the hall closet.)
‘
—
“there are almost unlimited possibilities for making discoveries and to uncover the unknown.
it is in the nature of the discovery that it can not be planned or programmed.
-on the contrary, it consists of surprises and appears many times in the most unexpected places.”
-bengt i. samuelsson










