Tag Archives: humor

heavy.

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helped my daughter

to pull a dollhouse kit down from the store shelf above

 quite surprised to find

 how heavy it actually was 

just before it crowned me

more surprised than anything

all was well

but as we picked it up

with an alarmed store employee

i happened to notice

a little sticker on the underside that said

‘heavy’

 too little, too late. too heavy. 

“heavy is the head that wears the crown”
― wiiliam shakespeare

 

no harm, some fowl.

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two birds and a ram happen upon a book…
“let us read, and let us dance;
these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.”
-voltaire

thor throat.

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 on the via rail trip home

i was in the lucky seat

 prepared to wield the mighty hammer

to save us all 

on an as-needed basis

just like thor.

if he was a happy, sleepy woman 

with a scratchy throat

wrapped up in a cozy scarf

 sipping bailey’s and coffee

on a meandering canadian train.

‘courage, above all things, is the first quality of a warrior.’

-carl von clausewitz

a different direction.

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a stop by a pub with a cozy fireplace

for a leisurely quiet lunch

and then i saw this –

a menu note at the bottom 

‘bottomless fountain pop and vanilla ice cream’ for children

things could quickly go in a different direction.

“i accept that there may be things far grander

and more incomprehensible than we can possibly imagine.’

-richard dawkins

 

london, ontario, canada

fruitcakes.

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i came face to face with this colorful display

and was struck with a sudden terror

for i knew

 this was

a sure sign that

the fruitcakes were on their way.

 

“a sharp bolt of hunger hit luther hard. his knees almost buckled, his poker face almost grimaced. for two weeks now his sense of smell had been much keener, no doubt a side effect of a strict diet. maybe he got a whiff of mabel’s finest, he wasn’t sure, but a craving came over him. suddenly, he had to have something to eat. suddenly, he wanted to snatch the bag from kendall, rip open a package, and start gnawing on a fruitcake.”
John Grisham

notes.

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the notes i scribbled after each walk in the parks

sometimes in a code that even i could not decipher

the artifacts i gathered as i walked the parks

most dried out to the point where i could not recognize them

i threw all of the the notes and artifacts into a big shoe box

in one heaping pile 

things fell out and fell in

i found a purple feather and holiday glitter in the mix

clearly a very complex and organized system.

“if you wish to forget anything on the spot,

make a note that this thing is to be remembered.”

-edgar allan poe

teach it to dance.

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==

image credit: vintage halloween

night deposits.

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“hutchins office – night deposits”

“i find if you are in an office, the crisis finds you.

if you’re not in the office, the crisis finds somebody else. “

-jeremy corbyn

*city of ann arbor tree nursery, ann arbor, mi, usa

provides and nurtures saplings for city parks and streets 

along with mulch, logs, and all things to do with trees. 

 —

*when i visited the parks’ nursery, there was no one there, and i loved happening upon this unusual ‘office’ setting. it looks like it could have been a staff meeting day, as there were 2 chairs sitting together. as i continue my walk through the parks, i now have 9 left to go, and i’m quite sure that i will be finished by my goal of halloween.

return to sender.

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i recently made halloween cards

for all of my grandies and nieces

and sent them out early

to make sure they arrived in time

imagine my surprise 

when i opened my mailbox

and found a letter 

that i had sent out  

a day earlier

only to have the post office 

deliver it back to me

instead of sending it on ahead

somehow they had managed

to process it on the back of the envelope

and decided that my return address sticker 

was where it should be delivered

i often wonder about their logic

and am pleasantly surprised

when things actually get

to where i had intended them to go

 i will try again tomorrow 

and tell them that it should go

to where the mailing address is

on the front of the letter.

“you know you’re a fool when what you’re doing

makes even the post office seem efficient.”

-joshua cohen

heard by the universe.

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(my glamour shot after returning from the salon and in full singing mode)

i love that my class

is unaware

that i am not a top notch singer

they are the best audience ever

very non-judgmental and accepting

as i belt out my tunes

and try to get them on board

i often improvise my own lyrics

when i only know part of them

or

think of something i’d like to add

many times accidentally

creating my own key

it’s all about the gusto

and not so much the skill.

“music in the soul can be heard by the universe. “

-lao tzu