after seeing the trailer for this film
i really thought it was going to be a comedy
it did have its funny moments and lines
as the movie played out
it was so much more
the trio of lead actors were brilliant
the characters
interacted
revealed themselves
learned about each other
personal stories emerged
in ways unexpected, tragic, and beautiful
finding something in each other
perhaps they didn’t even know they needed
but oh, did they ever
because as their understanding
of their humanity
with all of its flaws and challenges
came to the forefront
they chose grace
each was made the better for it
and forever changed.
—
“the moment we cry in a film is not when things are sad
but when they turn out to be more beautiful than we expected them to be.”
-alain de botton
—
image credit: miramax films, focus features
In May of 2013, celebrated author and MacArthur ‘genius’ George Saunders took the podium at Syracuse University and delivered a masterpiece of bequeathable wisdom, the commencement address. A year later it was adapted in “Congratulations, by the way: Some Thoughts on Kindness”, designed and hand lettered by Chelsea Cardinal.
With his gentle wisdom and disarming warmth, Saunders manages to dissolve some of our most deeply engrained culturally conditioned cynicism into a soft and expansive awareness of the greatest gift one human being can give another — those sacred exchanges that take place in a moment of time, often mundane and fleeting, but echo across a lifetime with inextinguishable luminosity.
I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.
In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class. In the interest of confidentiality, her name will be “ELLEN.” ELLEN was small, shy. She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore. When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it.
So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?” — that sort of thing). I could see this hurt her. I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear. After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth. At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.” And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.”
Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it.
And then — they moved. That was it. No tragedy, no big final hazing.
One day she was there, next day she wasn’t.
End of story.
Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.
But still. It bothers me.
So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:
What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.
Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded … sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.
Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?
Those who were kindest to you, I bet.
But kindness, it turns out, is hard — it starts out all rainbows and puppy dogs, and expands to include . . . well, everything.
—
credits: Maria Popova, Chelsea Cardinal, George Saunders
when playing outside
the kinder found a dead bird
they called out to everyone to come over to see it
they said goodbye to the bird and told her that they were sad that she had died
we put a circle of pretty leaves around her to keep her safe on her journey.
—
“teach them to be kind to animals and they will grow up to be kind to people too.”
-rumi
after all of the wedding fun
finding the very tiny lizard, lizzy
thinking lizzy was gone
but finding she had hitched a ride in the car by hiding on someone’s dress
finding another tiny lizard, johnny boy
who hitched a ride on someone else’s pants
when we were looking in the trees for someone just like him
making houses for each of them
giving them food and water and air, and hiding rocks and grass
then thinking more about them and what would make them feel happy and safe
after talking, reciting poetry to them, interpretive ballet dancing
thanking them for finding us, hitching a ride, and playing with us for a little while
we decided that we loved them
and because we did
it was much kinder and compassionate
to return them to their lizard trees
to let them go home to their families and friends
to be healthy, happy, and safe
rather than try to keep them for ourselves
there were
a few tears
lots of love
and
a much greater understanding.
“true compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it.”
– daniel goleman
the restaurant of mistaken orders employs waitstaff with dementia
and you can never be exactly sure what you will be getting.
below is a statement from the restaurant to potential patrons and to the world.
—
you may think it’s crazy,
a restaurant that can’t even get your order right,
all of our servers are people living with dementia,
they may, or may not, get your order right.
however, rest assured,
that even if your order is mistaken
everything on our menu is delicious and one of a kind.
this we guarantee.
“it’s okay if my order was wrong, it tastes so good anyway.”
we hope this feeling of openness and understanding
will spread across japan, and through the world.
—
We ask for your continued support of The Restaurant of Mistaken Orders in Tokyo, Japan.
Our mission is to spread dementia awareness and to make society a little bit more open-minded and relaxed.
—
“gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.”
-lionel hampton
—
source credits: https://www.japan.go.jp/tomodachi/2019/winter2019/restaurant_of_mistaken_orders.html
the government of japan
“the rabbit of easter. he bring of the chocolate.”
-david sedaris
photo credit: from my favorite chocolatier with a cause, peace by chocolate
link to my earlier post about their story:
The image of the child musician crying was classified as one of the most emotional photographs of modern history. This photo was taken of a 12-year-old Brazilian boy (Diego Frazzo Turkato), playing the violin at the funeral of his teacher who rescued him from the environment of poverty and crime in which he lived.
In this image, humanity speaks with the strongest voice in the world:
“Cultivate love and kindness in a child to sow the seeds of compassion. And only then you will build a great civilization, a great nation “. – dalai lama
—
credits: Photographer: Marcos Tristao
—
“what wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?”
-jean-jacque rousseau
‘mr. rogers’ neighborhood’ aired for the very 1st time, 55 years ago
fred rogers was a unique person with an immense heart and an incredible understanding of life
he’s one of my personal idols/heroes and i’m happy to see his legacy and lessons continue.
—
“we all have different gifts, so we all have different ways of saying to the world who we are.”
-mr. rogers
—
credit: fred rogers productions
Meet Cake4Kids: The Nonprofit That Bakes Birthday Cakes for Foster and At-Risk Children
Inspired by an article profiling a young girl in the foster care system who burst into tears upon receiving her first birthday cake, Cake4Kids founder Libby Gruender recognized that such a simple gesture could have a profound impact on the lives of underprivileged children. IIn 2010, Cake4Kids launched as a grassroots effort in Sunnyvale, California, with a handful of volunteers baking 13 cakes for a few agencies that support youth. Today, the organization encompasses hundreds of volunteers, serves over 400 social services agencies, and provides over 3,000 custom, homemade cakes or sweets for at-risk kids (ages 1-24) on an annual basis — with more than 40,000 treats delivered in the past 13 years
While a birthday cake may seem like a simple gesture to many, each baked good serves as a sweet reminder to the children and youth in the U.S. foster care system that they are seen, cherished, and not forgotten.
Per the organization’s website, children served by this mission include “youth in foster care, group homes, homeless shelters, transitional and low income housing, domestic violence or human trafficking shelters, substance abuse programs, and refugees.” Agencies partnering with Cake4Kids must serve at-risk or underserved youth, be categorized as a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization or government agency, and have offices in an area served by Cake4Kids.
Three years after Cake4Kids began, Gruender sadly passed away, but her mission continues to live on: The organization has since expanded across the country, with chapters all across the United States.
For more information, visit the Cake4Kids website to learn how you can volunteer, start a chapter in your area, and donate.
—
“how far that little candle throws his beams! so shines a good deed in a weary world.”
-william shakespeare, the merchant of venice
–
-source credit: julia diddy
I didn't have my glasses on.... 