Category Archives: family

off to the nunnery.

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so off i go today

to the convent

where i’ll stay and meet up with

my sister and my aunt who is a sister

relax, talk, walk, meditate, share meals, laugh, cry, remember, tell stories

see her sacred and important places

shared spaces

if i was a nun

i imagine myself

singing and running through the hills

like sister maria in the alps

but i think this spring break

slow and easy

may be exactly perfect

a time of rest and renewal.

“get thee to a nunnery, go.”

– hamlet to ophelia (written by william shakespeare)

 

 

photo credit: 20th century-fox studios, the sound of music, 1965

‘is there no privacy in this family?′ everyone at the table answers, ‘no.’- ashley elston

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ah, those wonderful memories

of that wall mounted phone

usually yellow in most houses

began with a 3-foot cord

eventually a 30-foot cord

so important

for one’s privacy

if the phone rang

and the call was for one of us

we’d travel with that cord

way beyond any expected limits

into a corner or another room

with closed door

where we could

listen, gossip, tell jokes, share news, talk about nothing, cry about breakups, listen to music together, compare who got invited to what, predict who was going to ask who out, muse about crushes, complain about our parents and sibs, find out what the homework was because we weren’t listening in class, discuss what you were going to wear tomorrow, make plans…

and then

after what seemed to be about 5-7 minutes

one of your sibs

would start whining, complaining, knocking on the door, telling on you

for being on the phone ‘for hours’

 they were waiting for an important call

or had to make an important call

and they were just going to die

if they didn’t get to use the phone right away

the battle for the phone began

 if someone had to walk

through the room that cord was stretched across

 a taut tightrope about to snap

they had to lift it and walk under

like playing phone limbo

 the curly cord

would get all twisted up

because you had been twirling it around your finger

while you were on your call

you had to wait as the whole thing unspooled

sometimes standing on a chair to do so

when you finally got off of the call

your sibling began the whole process all over again

with her friend

until

another sibling jumped into the ring

to go through the whole ritual again

with her friend

until

your parents

or the friend’s parents

put the hammer down

and said

they were waiting for or had to make an important call

it was time for dinner

 not to stretch out the phone cord

one sib even figured out how to disconnect the cord

right where it connected to the phone

it was an ongoing struggle

for privacy,  phone access, and control

 it was the best, like being in a phone derby

and sometimes i won.

‘the shared phone was a space of spontaneous connection for the entire household.’

 — Julia Cho; The Atlantic—How the Loss of the Landline Is Changing Family Life

 

the final conference.

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after many years

yesterday

was my very last experience

sitting at a table

sharing stories with families

listening to their stories

 connecting over something unique and wonderful

their child

at parent teacher conferences

in priceless conversations.

“conversations are the most direct way to connect with people.”

-padgett powell, american novelist 

tangerine dreams.

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wh0 wouldn’t love to have a tangerine cat?

“our holiday food splurge was a small crate of tangerines, which we found ridiculously thrilling after an eight-month abstinence from citrus. lily hugged each one to her chest before undressing it as gently as a doll. watching her do that as she sat cross-legged on the floor one morning in pink pajamas, with bliss lighting her cheeks, i thought; lucky is the world, to receive this grateful child. value is not made of money, but a tender balance of expectation and longing.”

-Barbara Kingsolver

Barbara is a Pulitzer Prize-winning American novelist, essayist, and poet. Her widely known works include The Poisonwood Bible, the tale of a missionary family in the Congo, and Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, a nonfiction account of her family’s attempts to eat locally. Lily, mentioned above, is her daughter, now also an author and an environmental scientist.

 

 

image credit: pinterest

time runs out.

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“It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we’d developed other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we’d worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga.

It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn’t make and the work we didn’t do the people we didn’t do and the people we didn’t marry and the children we didn’t have. It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out.

But it is not lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy.

We can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse. Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on.”

in memoriam of r.s. – you will be greatly missed and thanks for the music

credits:

text: Matt Haig – The Midnight Library, 2020.

art: Grant Haffner – Into the night, 1978

my grandson has a few words to say about being a good neighbor in this world.

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two hearts.

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yesterday

my sister let us know 

 she lost her husband

of so many years

on christmas day

in this

the same year

he lost his father

before too long

we’ll fly to her

to be together

for a remembrance and celebration of his life.

“sympathy is two hearts tugging at one load.”

-charles henry parkhurst

downtown.

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downtown detroit

on a very chilly and beautiful november evening

sparkling christmas tree

ice

music

family from near and far

laughter

winter market

lots and lots of food

warm drinks

lights

comfort.

“downtown. lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder.

and in that moment, i swear we were infinite.”

stephen chbosky

coming back.

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after having such a wonderful time celebrating with family
it’s nice to be home
even if
i did have a late night
and an early morning flight to get here
but i’m still standing.
kind of.
“i regarded home as a place I left behind in order to come back to it afterward.”
― ernest hemingway
inmage credit: pinterest

timeless beauty.

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it was  a beautiful day for a family wedding in sedona.

 

“the beauty in sedona is timeless.”