one of my favorite teacher gifts.
ever.
Dec20
louse.
one of my favorite teacher gifts.
ever.
Tag Archives: funny
Nov19
it’s all funny.
a scene from the road rally in the sideways rain
leap frog in the park
last night i told a joke to a woman at a comedy club, led a group of strangers in follow-the- leader in t.j. maxx, bought 60 cents of gas, got into a theater box office, danced the sugar plum fairy ballet and push it, had the zingerman’s staff sing happy birthday to me, tried to jam our team into one shopping cart, read a children’s book aloud to an adult in the library, found five different kinds of balls, secretly wrote crossword answers in the new york times and put it back, wore protective hockey gear, held a lobster, paid for a stranger’s purchase, ate as a group at taco bell, wore university of michigan gear that wasn’t mine, added my gum to a public wall art display, read incredible notes, shared food and drinks and blew out candles and it was a night to always be remembered.
teams:
sock monkeys vs. glitters vs. kwames
—
what a wonderful decade birthday celebration
thanks to all of you for every bit of it
it meant everything.
—
“life goes by fast. enjoy it. calm down. it’s all funny.”
– joan rivers
Sep19
it’s all about that stance.
elvis’ fight-stopping karate stance memorial plaque
in 1977, elvis presley, while riding to madison from the airport, noticed a street fight in progress at a service station. while his limo was stopped at the nearby red light, the king ran from the car and threatened the combatants with a classic karate stance.
the young men recognized elvis and stopped fighting in favor of shaking hands with the star. elvis reportedly left after ensuring that everything was settled and taking time to shake hands with several onlookers. elvis died 52 days later.
the incident was reported by thomas still for The State Journal, who called it presley’s biggest brawl since Jailhouse Rock. a plaque to commemorate the event is installed where the gas station once stood. it shows elvis with a guitar and in a pseudo-karate stance and describes the incident.
‘if there hadn’t been an elvis, there wouldn’t have been the beatles.’
-john lennon
—
credit: atlas obscura, the state journal, thomas still
Sep14
off and back on.
(joey, a well-paid reenactor thoughtfully demonstrating how tired i was)
—
“maybe if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning”
is literally just the human version of
“have you tried turning it off and back on again?”
– word porn
—
image credit: emgn
Aug25
tipping point.
even our sweet neighbors, the canadians, have a tipping point.
—
“truth is the greatest marketing campaign.”
-richie norton
—
photo credit: s. townsend
Aug6
black and white and blues all over.
happened upon this scene
while out on a walk today
i’m not sure what happened
but it couldn’t have been good.
—
“every bad situation is a blues song waiting to happen.”
-amy winehouse
Jul9
weather.
kind of funny
that the weather channel on tv
that was supposed to warn me
about incoming dangerous storms
wasn’t working right
because of the incoming dangerous storms.
every so often
a word like ‘severe’ would pop up
and disappear back into the screen
hope it wasn’t saying,
‘turn this off and take cover immediately!’
or
‘if you can see this, you are in harm’s way!’
at least i lived to tell the tale
and that is still working for me.
—
“weather forecast for tonight: dark.”
-george carlin
Apr14
be a good one.
something is lost or wandering.
(*question and response chain on my neighborhood website – mixed in among the recommendations for contractors, giveaways, news and upcoming events)
—
*Anyone lose a peacock? peahen?
A. C. from Crest/Washington · 8h ago
Was leaving the house a little after 11 maybe and a large peacock or peahen appeared wandering through the Kenwood backyards heading north.
P. V. from Crest/Washington · 8h ago
are you sure it wasnt a turkey?
C. G. from Dexter-Miller · 7h ago
A wild turkey has been seen on the South West Side in the last couple days.
A. C. from Crest/Washington · 5h ago
A friend and I were at the end of the drive way when we saw it come through the spaces between the garages and at first I thought I was really losing it because it looked like a vulture perching and then for a split second I did think it was a turkey but it was gone. I swear sometimes you never know in this neighborhood.
S. P. from Crest/Washington · 5h ago
Yes, saw the turkeys last year ( or year before ? ) walking up and around Fair Street near Glendale. I thought there used to be three of them.
J. S. from Dicken · 1h ago
Well. I can think of even a few turkeys who think they themselves are peacocks!
—
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image credits: eric carle, pinterest
Apr1
on april fools’ day and beyond.
(someone who looks a lot like me at happy hour last night)
“it is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.”
-max eastman
—
image credit: funnytimejoy.com
Feb5
glam.
left wondering
how this sizable and colorful bra
ended up in the bag of children’s dress-up clothes
just sitting there quietly
mixed amongst
the mermaid, the dragon, and the cowboy gear
and who it might belong to.
all i know for sure is that
there is a story in here somewhere.
—
“i have never been bored an hour in my life.
i get up every morning wondering what new strange glamorous thing is going to happen
and it happens at fairly regular intervals.
-william allen white
I didn't have my glasses on.... 