Tag Archives: humor

Oct28

fun is just a bite away.

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I’m curious why

there would be signs

distinguishing between

‘candy’ and kids candy?’

and then the added category of

‘candy bars.’

what if the sign just read ‘candy’ ?

I’ve never considered candy to be age-specific.

are toxic extreme sour patch garbage pail warheads

the gateway into a peppermint patty?

seems like it should be the other way around.

what’s the cutoff age to qualify to eat adult candy?

is it humiliating if you’re an adult and are seen eating the kid’s candy?

is it open season to eat the bars and all ages are welcome?

do you have to get someone to buy for you

if you don’t look the proper age?

do they see it as marketing to 3 different groups

each needing their own candy sign

all in one aisle?

who sorts them and decides which is suited for which?


I like to live on the edge and went with the rollos.

 

—

“taste the rainbow.”
― John Bowen

Oct22

cow.

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biggest cow I ever met.

 

—

“this was more than just a cow – this was an entire career I was looking at.”

*gary larson – the far side

*(word has it that gary may be considering bringing back my favorite comic of all time)

 

 

 

 

 

 

—

nixon farm, dexter, mi, usa – October 2019

Oct14

panic in the disco.

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(not me, but I had the same face when looking in the mirror this morning)

—

ever have one of those mornings

when you wake up very suddenly

notice it’s not dark outside

like it always is

when you wake up to go to work

you text your work partners

panicked and feeling guilty

to apologize

say you’ll be there asap

wondering why you didn’t hear your alarm go off

thinking about how you can get ready and do a make-over in 5 minutes

then begin to text your bosses to say the same

only to realize in the middle of typing

that it is

actually sunday

not monday

 have to type again

to apologize for waking everyone up?

just asking….

 

 

—

“forgive me if I sleep until I wake up. “

-charles olson

 

 

 

—

image credit: bored panda

Sep10

hopeful.

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to say that the detroit lions

have not played like a top tier team in a long time

is an understatement. 

I found this display

in the middle of a big box hardware store

with no explanation

and loved the artistic statement it made. 

this still somewhat hopeful

and ever loyal fan

has been waiting quite a long time for a win.

that is strong and that is funny.

—

“i’m a hopeful cynic.”

-tracy chapman

Sep1

butter.

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(not me, but a tiny brit/ fellow lover of butter,

who began by trying to make pancakes with his brother,

before it all went happily off the rails

and he ended up

covered in butter with a butter shampoo.)

—

when in maine….

apparently the warm, melted butter

was waiting to ambush me

it went perfectly 

with everything I ate

due to my obvious positive response

and unapologetic joy

they just kept serving me

things that could go with it

(everything)

and at one point

(I didn’t even notice)

the protective bib I was wearing 

somehow fell off and was under the table

and I found myself 

quite literally covered in melted butter

from the tips of my fingers

to just above my elbows

with collateral damage all around

and it was magnificent. 

 

—

It took me years to figure out that you don’t fall into a tub of butter, you jump for it.

-claudette colbert

—

image credit: Dailymail.co.uk, menshealth.com

Aug28

funny first.

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such an interesting mix at lunch

sugar cookies, grated parmesan cheese, and red pepper flakes

it made me wonder a bit

when I inquired I was told 

the cheese and peppers were there

because they were serving Italian food in the kitchen

and the cookies were there

because this was their new location

and I kind of loved

the ‘no logical reason’ reason for the combination

it made it even better

and why not after all?

 

—

“things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that’s awesome.”

-john mulaney

Aug8

bobsticle.

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another of roald’s perfectly created words.

—
image credit: roalddahl.com
Jul25

keeping count.

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“never have more children than you have car windows.”

-erma bombeck

Jul17

creepy.

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so creepy unpacking from the family trip
and finding this giant scary baby surprise
in my suitcase.
could have been most anyone
there’s more than one suspect in the group
with this sense of humor.
once narrowed down
it was clear that she may soon
be making a surprise appearance
somewhere else
I’m just saying…
thanks, family!
—
“I tend to scare myself”
– stephen king
Jul9

noted.

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no more need be said.

—

“cars are the sculptures of our everyday lives.”

-chris bangle