Tag Archives: humor

Mar19

and on the seventh day…

Posted on by
Standard

if you’re like many of us who grew up in the 60s-70s

you’ll no doubt remember the popular ‘days of the week’ underwear sets

i loved the colors, the names,

the sense of knowing what day it was

without having to be burdened with a real calendar

yet i always wondered one thing about them –

why no ‘sunday’ pair?

what was the possible reason for this?

would god be mad if we wore underwear on sunday?

wouldn’t he be even madder if we didn’t?

i knew my catechism nuns wouldn’t have the answers.

i was left wondering.

–

 in the following scene from ‘when harry met sally’

sally explained the reason behind her latest breakup. great minds…..

HARRY: So how come you broke up with Sheldon?…SALLY: Well, if you must know, it’s because he was very jealous and I had these days of the week underpants.HARRY: [Makes buzzer sound]. I’m sorry. I need a judge’s ruling on this. Days of the week underpants?SALLY: Yes. They had the days of the week on them and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, “You never wear Sunday.” He’s all suspicious, “Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday?” And I told him and he didn’t believe me.HARRY: What? SALLY: They don’t make Sunday.HARRY: Why not?SALLY: Because of God.

—

“this is sunday, and the question arises, what’ll I start tomorrow?

-kurt vonnegut

 

 

 

—

image credit: sassygrannysnickers on etsy

Feb17

sticky business.

Posted on by
Standard

i bought this gum

because is was $1.00 and it was sugarless.

 it also read “truth or dare – censored”

on the front of the package

and like a 13 year-old

i couldn’t resist seeing what it was all about.

inside the package

each piece of gum

was wrapped in a series

of fill-in-the-blank sentences

meant to be provocative in some way

with some of the words ‘censored’ out. 

i thought that i must have been the only one to buy this

because it was on sale and there was still a full shelf of it left

until i went to lunch and shared it with my friends

and one told me

that she had bought the “uncensored” version for her office.

what?  i mean #$% what?

“the only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen”

– tom smothers, 1960s

Feb16

when dog cheerleading takes a turn.

Posted on by
Standard

w is for?

my friend’s dogs on a friday night. 

the vet said about one,

“she’s just not very athletic.”

—

“current position: tired from the human race.” 

― deyth banger, Deep Legend

 

—

image credit: steve t, founding member of bambs

Feb10

kakimi.

Posted on by
Standard

late night friends chatting about the current state of things.

—

“kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?”

this translates roughly to:

“how the hell did these people win the cold war?” 

― dave barry, big trouble

 

 

 

 

 

—

image credit: kellydbrown

Feb9

where hobbies, hijinks, and capers go bad = my childhood #9

Posted on by
Standard

another summer’s day

after a year or so of middle school

with too much time on our hands

trying to act grown up

 we decided that

we’d lounge around

on the back patio

grill up some food

have some lemonade

do nothing

sit around, eat, talk, be lazy.

but when the fire on our hibachi

somehow got too big

we did the obvious thing

threw it into the hedge

and yes, there was some collateral damage

and no, we didn’t think they’d notice

but actually, they did 

and no, it didn’t end well

and yes, our day of lounging ended rather abruptly.

 “the grass is always greener around the fire hydrant.”

-jeff rich

 

Feb7

only drama.

Posted on by
Standard


and the rest should stay back?

 

sign found by the parent drop-off circle

at my school in the morning.

 from a class the night before

but it works in the morning too.

—

“you cannot have the drama without comedy.”

-tommy wiseau

Dec30

being yourself.

Posted on by
Standard

after visiting grandma’s house with no worry that you’ll catch a cold.

 

“fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable.

style is more about being yourself.”

-oscar de la renta 

 

after visiting grandma’s house and ?

i truly admire their spirit and they look so happy.

 

 

 

 

 

—

image credits: crafty momma.com (dogs), google images (humans)

Dec28

blanket statement.

Posted on by
Standard

(photo not me, but how i was feeling)

that annoying moment when you can’t find the long side of your blanket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

—

image credit: zooborn.com

Dec27

on fire.

Posted on by
Standard

so much romance
at the car wash today
as this couple wandered around the lot
kissing and kissing and kissing yet again
waiting for their car to be finished
not noticing that their car
was long ago completed
and up front waiting for them.
—
“the kiss would have been magical I was sure,
if I hadn’t caught my marshmallow on fire and dropped it on his shoe.”
― holly hood, Ink

Dec14

the lost and found is lost.

Posted on by
Standard

today

when the kinders found things out of place

they went to put them in our class lost and found

but discovered it was missing. 

the class then set out to find the lost and found

that was lost

until someone found it

and proudly put it back in place

then the mini wooden zebra, the blue rubber spider, and the green magna-tile

found a place to wait until we can find where they belong.

“first up, the lost and found has gone missing.

it itself, is lost.

so please try not to lose anything until we find it.”

-michael scott, the office